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what to do about a confusing love triangle?

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  • what to do about a confusing love triangle?

    hi there if anyone can help me figure out my situation id be so grateful. so basically im stuck deciding between who i want to be with. me & ex #1 have been on & off for a year & i had met an amazingly perfect man while we were broken up for good. but after a few months i couldnít stop thinking about ex #1 & it was driving me crazy i would have dreams about him every night & the only way to stop it was to see him, so i told the new bf that i needed a break , not telling him my real reasons.
    so me & ex #1 recently started taking eachother seriously for the past 2 months. this past year he never took me seriously; he would talk to other girls & knew it bothered me & would always drink & do drugs daily, ignore any problems, disregard me, and leave me with no explanation yet i still stood by his side hoping for a change since i saw potential in him. well now recently he started acting right and is caring and wants to work things out & i truly do see a change in him these past 2 months & it makes me happy how he finally sees how i was there for him all along, but i honestly miss ex #2 so much hes everything you could think of & never makes me worry or question his word.

    however, out of sadness he started talking to another girl & i told him i started seeing my ex again. i told him how much i miss him and he feels the same & stopped talking to the girl because he wants to fix things. i dont want to just leave ex #1 because he truly is trying for me but after all he has done to me i feel like he deserves for me to just leave. i had stayed all along because theres something about him that made me feel so attracted.
    i feel terrible for even associating with him again but i couldnt get him out of my head for the longest time and ex #2 doesnt deserve any of this. another thing to add is that ex #2 is honestly terrible in bed because of his small size & short lasting factor & to me thats really important while on the other hand ex #1 is amazing. they are both equally so physically attractive. i cant take this any longer what would you guys do? this is driving me insane its all i think about everyday and i feel like i will never be at peace. please someone help me thank you

  • #2
    You keep repeating things like ex 1 deserves this and ex 2 doesn't deserve that.
    Have you ever considered the fact that you don't deserve either of them?
    You have 2 guys on and off who will stop talking to others, stop dating girls they might have a future with, and then leave them hanging to be with the other.
    You're playing both of them and you have no excuse for that.

    Give them both a chance to find someone who knows what she wants and is fully committed to them, and get out of their lives. They both deserve someone who wants to be with them for the full 100%, and doesn't keep dreaming of her ex.
    After that, take some time off dating to figure out what your priorities are. And stop making commitments you don't intend to keep.
    You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf


    • #3
      this is driving me insane
      Good! This is what Karma is reaping upon you because you are playing two men. Get rid of both of them because you're clearly unhappy with both of them but you're too immature to be able to be single and learn to be happy without a guy in your life for five minutes.
      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


      • #4
        You need a break from both men until you can have a long time to think and sort things out. Trust is a huge issue. You have to be careful with ex#1. I hope he's not charming his way back into your life after doing drugs and drinking daily. Ex#2 seems more mentally stable IMHO. Since you can't figure out what to do, do both men a favor and leave them be. You can't change other people. You change first, make up your mind regarding what you desire in life, figure out what's important to you, what your values are and what you feel is most enduring. After that, you'll narrow down which person is right for you. At the end of the day, it's about which man will give you a better life filled with daily stability, peace and long term happiness. Everything else loses its luster eventually.
        "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."


        • #5
          thank you guys so much thatís definitely the right thing to do its just hard...