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Found the one and love her to death but might be missing out

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  • Found the one and love her to death but might be missing out

    Okay I'm really gonna try to make this as to the point as I can as my last post was 11,000 words long and that's a joke

    my name is "percy" her name is "lucy"

    I am 18 years old as is she and we have been going out for 2 years
    A brief backstory:
    we met at a friends party it went very well for about a week then we got close and I found out her boyfriend was my ex best friend. Long story short I Mr months listning to her cry about her relationship with him ( which was extremely toxic) and it was hard to go through that as the start of a relationship is supposed to be wonderful and exstatic. Anyway after that she had toothache for like 4 months or more a d during this whole time she was the bloodiest and angriest person I've ever met but I knew that sometimes she could be wonderful so I stuck around and supported her. Then she got seriously better and had major feelings for me but BECAISE of how much I was shot down and pushed away and shouted at at this point I was toxic myself and it became me that was ruining the relationship. Well we worked together and managed to get to where we are now which is just amazing and she's so wonderful and really more than I actually could ever ask for. Now I really didn't feel like I had fallen in love woth her at the start BECAISE of how she treated me. But when she got better and I brought out her good side it changed everything and it has taken a lot of work it took it out of me for months.

    my problem is that I am now at a stage where I really think I could spend the rest if my life with her and be happy about it because she is more than worth it.
    but I am 18 years old. There is so much I haven't experienced and even she has said this to me. If we could like brake it off for a few years and then get back together that would be ideal but that is just selfish of me and unfair on her to ask for such a thing. I do not want things to end but I'm just so curious as to what I could be missing out on. But then sometimes the grass is always greener on the other side. Even if like once every few years for a couple weeks we could just ignore eachother and have some personal time to just be normal teenagers that would be great but it's a bit selfish of me and I don't know how to deal woth this
    any and all advice is much appreciated thank you.
    it just would be such a waste too through away such a perfect relationship after all we've been through to create it we used to argue everyday and now your lucky if we even have grumpy tones woth each other and I'm so flooded with feelings for her and it's usually you get this at the start and it fades away but it seems for me it's the opposite.

  • #2
    What you're feeling is perfectly normal. 18 is too young for most to get settled down with 1 person for the rest of your life, especially because there's a whole world out there left to be discovered.
    If you really feel like you'll be missing out, maybe it would be more fair to part ways and each go on to explore the world. I also believe that when 2 people are more mature and have experienced a bit more of the real world, their chances of making a relationship work really increase.
    Who knows, a few years down the line, if you're both still single, you might end up together anyway.
    You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf


    • #3
      Well, don't ask me. I had one boyfriend before I met my now husband of 40 years. I met him in highschool.

      Do you spend ALLLLLLL of your time with her. Do you have your own friends and interests that you do without her occasionally or are you two joined at the hip and don't do anything without the other. The hubs and I have always had our own interests and have friends that we do things with without each other. I have a girls weekend away once (sometimes twice) a year. What do you guys do NOT as a couple?
      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


      • #4
        Slow down and take things day by day with your girlfriend. If you feel in your bones that things aren't working out between you two, if you both are quick to anger, then the relationship isn't harmonious and pleasant. You're only 18 years old and it's a great big world out there. People will waft in and out of your life. You will meet new people and they run the gamut, both bad and good. It's hard to be patient when you're so young but try. Also, too much togetherness isn't always good. Develop your own life outside your relationship such as work, education, healthy lifestyle, sports, hobbies, etc. Once you're focused on positives, positive, mentally stable people become attracted and drawn to you.
        "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."


        • #5
          I's not so much that I feel like I'm missing out and even if I did I still believe I have much more fun and get much more fulfilment by spending time doing fun things with her. -thanks ayla

          yes see I really look into things like this as I always try to better myself for her I make sure I listen to her problems and not try to fix them, and obvcourse she tries just as much woth me. We always make sure that we have time apart and have our own hobbies and sometimes we do spend too much time together but we soon realise what's happening and will have some days too ourselves, I try too go to the gym alone but sometimes she will come aswell but usually when I go swimming... and then I'll go out with friends the odd weekend and so will she we really try to make things function properly.. - thanks phases of the moon

          and see that's the thing... at the very start of our relationship it was awful and rocky and it felt like it wasn't going to work and well she was very quick to anger.. and after half a year of that it wore off on me... but then we both got our acts together and I can honestly say its actually never been better, usually it's amazing at the start and then it gets worse and you grow apart but to be honest it was like that at the start, I was just expecting her too fall out woth me all the time, I think that since I showed such willingness to help and persevere showed her how much I cared and she realised I won't do this forever and now she's the best person I have ever met and I have these feelings I have never had before even at the start and it's really confusing - thanks chanelle

          all in all I think that it will be best to just take it day to day like stated above and just see where life takes Me right now it probably couldn't be better and I don't want to ruin that just because my teenager hormones are back to front and upside down. Hopefully in time things may become clearer but for now I think I am co tent with how things are! Thanks everyone for the help you really helped me decide on what I should do! Hopefully I never have to talk to you again but hey ho you never know!
          good luck guys (and gals) and once again thank you!! Xx