Indecision

[Fastfred]

Hi all.
I've been with my girlfried for a few years now. There a few things that I dont like about our relationship, mostly relating to the fact that i find her quite controlling. Its got to the point where i think we should break up. We don't really argue and i think she will be a bit devestated. The trouble i am having his that i feel very unsure about everything. Usually what happens is i make the decision to break up and i say to myself i will do it this weekend and then i suddenly feel like a weight is off my shoulders. But when i get to the weekend, the idea of breaking up just seems too sad as i do care about her a lot. To cause so much heartbreak (our lives are very intertwined) when my life is really not that bad just seems too much.
Then i feel depressed about staying in the relationship and then the cycle repeats. I have been in this cycle for a long time now. I think part of the problem is my indecision. I know no one can help me with this and i have to either decide to leave or decide to stay, but i just can't seem to make the decision to stay or really want to. I have phases of being so sure i want to leave but i also have times where i am not sure. What makes me want to leave overall is that even when i feel good about the relationship i don't think i want to be with her forever. I feel like there are other things i want to do and i can't see myself doing them with her. I think i have felt like that for a long time.
I guess i just wonder if anyone else has been in this sort of situation.

[SarahLancaster]

Make a list of why you want to stay with her. And then make another list of why you want to break up. That might help.

[phasesofthemoon]

Do you love this girl? You don't talk about how you actually feel about her. If you don't love her then why are you so afraid to leave her (Other then you don't want her to be devastated)

It sounds like you haven't been emotionally present in this relationship for a while now. Surely she can sense that you have checked out. Does she ask you whats wrong and if you're okay at times?

Are you in decisive in general or is it just about this relationship and whether to stay or go?

[Cassia]

Leave her. I’m sorry for being blunt and please take my advice with a grain of salt but it seems to me that’s what you want to do, you just second guess yourself. But imagine this, if your girlfriend was always trying to build up the courage to dump you, but she never did, wouldn’t you want out also? I think if she knew how you felt, she wouldn’t want to be with you either. Everyone deserves a relationship where both people involved give 100% and I don’t think that is the case here. You should be with someone who makes you want to be in the relationship, not with someone who may be great, but you don’t see a future with. I know it’s going to be very hard to leave her and it will be tough for both of you, but ultimately you will feel better.

[chanelle]

If you're not happy due to personality differences and if you're not fully invested in this relationship with her, do both of yourselves a favor and end it. This way both of you can move on with your lives.