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  • sometime
    started a topic Pre-nuptial

    Pre-nuptial

    If someone tell you he loves you, and he also tells you, "No pre-nuptial, no relationship." Is that a bit like that these days?

  • sometime
    replied
    But no one ever walked away with any of his assets before ever. He has never been married or in a committed relationship before in his life at 52....why does he make that such a barrier. Or maybe that is fair?

    Leave a comment:


  • SarahLancaster
    replied
    It seems strange to say that marriage is not common but people will sign co-habitation agreements which, in effect, creates the same kind of legal bonds that marriage does.

    If he signed a co-habitation agreement, then he shouldn't be shocked that she walked away with half his assets.Dumb on his part. I can understand why he might be a little hesitant to enter into another arrangement where someone else can walk away with half his assets.

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  • Ayla
    replied
    Sorry Maggie, I don't think I expressed myself clearly enough since you seem to have misunderstood. I'll elaborate.
    I'm not living with him. I have not signed any prenup. My point was that I wouldn't have a problem signing one if we were to get married or live together eventually, for the reason stated above. I wouldn't want to feel like he was staying with me because he was afraid of his finances.
    Marriage is not that common anymore where I live, and definitely not the only way to commit to someone. More people have cohabitation agreements than get married, and I'm perfectly okay with that.

    I know the ex (through some mutual friends) and she's been known to brag about how she cheated him out of every penny she could. At the time of his parents' investment, they asked to get that sum of money notarised. That way she couldn't claim the money as hers if they ever broke up. She was furious and refused to sign anything because "it was a sign his family didn't trust her and she couldn't live with him without that trust". He made the mistake of being persuaded by her to trust her on her word that she'd never claim that money.
    Fast forward 8 months and she made him sell the home they were renovating together (with the parents investment). There was a 150k profit, of which 100k was his parents money and the rest should have been divided between the two of them. She however claimed half of the entire profit. Legally, his hands were tied. He gave his parents his half of the profit and is continuing to pay them back each month for the lost investment.

    Oh and he left her because she was cheating. So there's not really any reason why she should carry this kind of resentment towards him that warrents her taking his money.

    Leave a comment:


  • Maggiemay4791
    replied
    No prenuptial no relationship?
    Are you willing to shack up with this guy without any committment from him (ie marriage?)

    My response to that would be "fine"!

    He never made a committment to his ex, just a convenient living arrangement, he says she took him to the cleaners, but you are only hearing his side of the story. She doesn't get to walk away with $75k for no reason. So what if his parents put up 100k?
    Sounds to me like he made a profit at his parents expense?
    Perhaps she paid bills unrelated to mortgage.
    If they had a prenup he might have walked away with less lol.

    Tell him that you will discuss a prenup when the time is right. Ie that you don't intend to live with him pre marriage and committment?
    He sounds miserable to me.

    Leave a comment:


  • SarahLancaster
    replied
    We call that paying a 'stupid tax.' Some people have to learn the hard way.

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  • Ayla
    replied
    Originally posted by SarahLancaster View Post
    So you're saying that he was married before? A girlfriend couldn't take him to the cleaners.
    They had a cohabitation agreement and a house together, which in my country is legally just as powerful a a marriage contract.
    His parents invested 100K in their joint house, but they never had it written down or notarised. She took off with 75K after the break-up.

    Anyway, he's learning to make better judgement calls now

    Leave a comment:


  • SarahLancaster
    replied
    So you're saying that he was married before? A girlfriend couldn't take him to the cleaners.

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  • Ayla
    replied
    Honestly I have no problem with signing a pre-nup. My boyfriend just has a lot more money than I do (silver spoon and everything lol) and he has once trusted a girl to be fair in regards to their finances. Obviously when the break-up happened she took him to the cleaners. He told me that he actually wanted to end things with her a lot sooner, but the fact that she could take off with so much of his money kept him from doing so until things got really bad.
    I'd rather sign a pre-nup than ever feeling like my boyfriend was just with me because he's afraid for his money. At least that way I know he truly wants to be with me, for me.
    They should be a bit diplomatic about the way they ask for it though

    Leave a comment:


  • chanelle
    replied
    It's obvious this person had been burned before or knows someone who was so they're "playing it safe" meaning he or she wants to protect assets such as real estate, money, bank accounts, etc. I think it's fair should the relationship fail. It's legal protection. This agreement is generally uncommon among young couples who don't have anything built up yet. It's usually for those who are already financially comfortable and established.
    Last edited by chanelle; January 28th, 2018, 07:16 AM.

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  • sometime
    replied
    ok thank you

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  • SarahLancaster
    replied
    It depends on the assets that each partner has, along with how many children, debts, etc.

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  • StarryEyes
    replied
    That's a bit of a hard one I'm afraid. I have my own house, car etc. I'm financially stable (to a certain degree) if someone said that to me I would discuss it and ask why but ultimately I wouldn't mind because if something bad did happen and things went south then I'd still have my own stuff and he'd have his. It's not like divorce doesn't exist these days but sometimes you get very different people in relationships, some men tend to be very practical whereas some women can be a bit more emotional and loved up. He might just be looking out for himself which isn't such a bad idea these days. If he's willing to make such a massive commitment and marry you then I think a pre-nup shouldn't matter.

    Leave a comment:

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