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Right been with my wife for 3.5 years now,
20 months
Both 37
When we met, I’d been out of a long term relationship for a year, I’d thrown myself headfirst into my own business to keep my mind off my ex.
Along came my wife as my dog walker whilst I was out working, she was carefree and such a laugh.
Over time we started seeing each other very slowly, all was good.
She was the opposite of me but it worked.
She lived in her fathers house (which was pretty much derelict) and after 6 months asked if I wanted to move in there.
Like a fool I moved in there and gave up my rental house, thought would be cheaper to live there and help me save to buy my own house in time.
I found out she had been living there rent and bill free for 5 years as her dad had met a new woman and married her but my wife didn’t like her dads new wife and so he struggled at 60 to buy a new house for him and his wife rather than upset his daughter.
She’s had anorexia before and she had a failed business in the past where he was the guarantor and rather than face the problems she ran away an nearly starved herself to death ( so got daddy over a barrel).
I offered to pay his mortgage in return to rent the derelict house and we talked and he offered me the house at a knock down price as he wanted to pay off his own mortgage and wash his hand of the house and probably the burden of his daughter!
All great, I wanted a mortgage so needed to graft for a year get my books in order .
Things got tight as they do and I needed help financially, I asked my wife about 3 times can you get a job for a bit to help me financially, at the school where she worked before .
All I ever got was tearful eyes, I feel really belittled going and working there or the I didn’t know you resented me, which all got pathetic, in the end it got to the stage I’d order a takeaway for us both “I’m not hungry & can’t afford it” guilt tripping me, when I merely asked for help buying her dads house to reduce her burden on him with financial gain for the pair of us, whilst I slogged my guts out 14 hour days.
But I’d have to reassure it’s ok I don’t think your taking the p*ss out of me and she’d eat the takeaway every time then moan about how many calories she’d consumed, “I don’t want a takeaway in future”.........till next time.
I work very hard I have my own roofing company which employs 6 people and it’s a physical job, I’ve worked extra hard to build this business for the both of our future, but all she’s done is moan I don’t show her enough attention because I’m often sat at home after work typing quotes, invoices and guarantees till 8pm,
I’ve even been asked to choose between her and my business, whilst she earns zero and expects me to supply everything including her cannabis!
With all the hard work I’ve started snoring-which leads to arguments because I keep her awake and I get annoyed her prodding me when I have to be up at 6am to work to keep us both whilst she just has to go to the gym.
I get annoyed as I go to bed at 9:30 pm and she lays in bed next to me with the tv blaring till 12 and I can’t sleep.
In the end with all the arguments I now sleep at my mums in the week and have done for the last 16 months as I’m done with lack of sleep making my working life hard and have now come to prefer it there in a relaxed environment.
This girl has played a slow mental game with my head, I’m always in the wrong and if I put up a fight she would argue for 6 hours until my brain is fried.
Even saying she didn’t say things she did until I just think sod it you can win.
If we argue she will constantly tell me to grow up (which she says isn’t patronising I should check the dictionary) yet she’s 37, smokes weed, has never had a job and has sponged off anyone including me, yet I need to grow up?
She’s been pretty vile over the years, assaulting me when she’s drunk etc, in pointless volatile arguments I’ve said I’m off to diffuse the situation on two occasions as I’ve opened the front door she’s ripped expensive tshirts off my back and the 3rd she threw metal and dented my car and hasn’t apologised for any of
she’s done some really nasty stuff like our wedding night she drank all the complimentary drinks pretty much and was steaming by 10pm I was ok as had paced myself, I went back to our room and after trying all of 10 seconds trying to unzip her dress she lost the plot and started punching me, I had to grab her arms to restrain her and I was made the attacker and she was shouting I’m going home in the corridor, I had to calm her down and didn’t get so much as an apology the next day.
On our honeymoon in the USA again she got drunk on wine and told me she’d never fancied me and only got with me because of my personality.
On my birthday we went to Belgium (her choice) she was drunk again and on her last drink decided to make a sip of cider last 30 minutes I said shall I get another drink, she went ballistic at me accusing me of drinking too much and told me to F off I’ll make my own way home in a foreign country when we’re both unsure on directions.
I literally stood there 5 meter away crying on my own whilst she made a point of dragging this drop of drink out.
A miserable walk back to our place and we had an argument and I told her she was a bitch as I’d proposed to her earlier that day.
She had a 7 day stand off to decide if marriage was right for her.
She invited me to meet her friends at the pub at start of relationship we was both pretty tipsy but in good spirits, one of the male friends offered me a shot I said yeah go on then and as it was literally placed in my hand she snatched it out and said you ain’t drinking that you’ll be drunk (although she was more drunk than me)
I felt really belittled and said to the bloke she tells me off if I put too much food in the dogs bowl (joking)
She hit the roof!
I said I’m going and walked out of the pub, on the way out I heard her best friend say to her it’s you Karen!
And she just let me leave alone and stayed out till late drinking and sniffing cocaine.
Next morning told me how bad I am till I cried again and even said the cheek of my mate saying it’s you wtf!
20 months
Both 37
When we met, I’d been out of a long term relationship for a year, I’d thrown myself headfirst into my own business to keep my mind off my ex.
Along came my wife as my dog walker whilst I was out working, she was carefree and such a laugh.
Over time we started seeing each other very slowly, all was good.
She was the opposite of me but it worked.
She lived in her fathers house (which was pretty much derelict) and after 6 months asked if I wanted to move in there.
Like a fool I moved in there and gave up my rental house, thought would be cheaper to live there and help me save to buy my own house in time.
I found out she had been living there rent and bill free for 5 years as her dad had met a new woman and married her but my wife didn’t like her dads new wife and so he struggled at 60 to buy a new house for him and his wife rather than upset his daughter.
She’s had anorexia before and she had a failed business in the past where he was the guarantor and rather than face the problems she ran away an nearly starved herself to death ( so got daddy over a barrel).
I offered to pay his mortgage in return to rent the derelict house and we talked and he offered me the house at a knock down price as he wanted to pay off his own mortgage and wash his hand of the house and probably the burden of his daughter!
All great, I wanted a mortgage so needed to graft for a year get my books in order .
Things got tight as they do and I needed help financially, I asked my wife about 3 times can you get a job for a bit to help me financially, at the school where she worked before .
All I ever got was tearful eyes, I feel really belittled going and working there or the I didn’t know you resented me, which all got pathetic, in the end it got to the stage I’d order a takeaway for us both “I’m not hungry & can’t afford it” guilt tripping me, when I merely asked for help buying her dads house to reduce her burden on him with financial gain for the pair of us, whilst I slogged my guts out 14 hour days.
But I’d have to reassure it’s ok I don’t think your taking the p*ss out of me and she’d eat the takeaway every time then moan about how many calories she’d consumed, “I don’t want a takeaway in future”.........till next time.
I work very hard I have my own roofing company which employs 6 people and it’s a physical job, I’ve worked extra hard to build this business for the both of our future, but all she’s done is moan I don’t show her enough attention because I’m often sat at home after work typing quotes, invoices and guarantees till 8pm,
I’ve even been asked to choose between her and my business, whilst she earns zero and expects me to supply everything including her cannabis!
With all the hard work I’ve started snoring-which leads to arguments because I keep her awake and I get annoyed her prodding me when I have to be up at 6am to work to keep us both whilst she just has to go to the gym.
I get annoyed as I go to bed at 9:30 pm and she lays in bed next to me with the tv blaring till 12 and I can’t sleep.
In the end with all the arguments I now sleep at my mums in the week and have done for the last 16 months as I’m done with lack of sleep making my working life hard and have now come to prefer it there in a relaxed environment.
This girl has played a slow mental game with my head, I’m always in the wrong and if I put up a fight she would argue for 6 hours until my brain is fried.
Even saying she didn’t say things she did until I just think sod it you can win.
If we argue she will constantly tell me to grow up (which she says isn’t patronising I should check the dictionary) yet she’s 37, smokes weed, has never had a job and has sponged off anyone including me, yet I need to grow up?
She’s been pretty vile over the years, assaulting me when she’s drunk etc, in pointless volatile arguments I’ve said I’m off to diffuse the situation on two occasions as I’ve opened the front door she’s ripped expensive tshirts off my back and the 3rd she threw metal and dented my car and hasn’t apologised for any of
she’s done some really nasty stuff like our wedding night she drank all the complimentary drinks pretty much and was steaming by 10pm I was ok as had paced myself, I went back to our room and after trying all of 10 seconds trying to unzip her dress she lost the plot and started punching me, I had to grab her arms to restrain her and I was made the attacker and she was shouting I’m going home in the corridor, I had to calm her down and didn’t get so much as an apology the next day.
On our honeymoon in the USA again she got drunk on wine and told me she’d never fancied me and only got with me because of my personality.
On my birthday we went to Belgium (her choice) she was drunk again and on her last drink decided to make a sip of cider last 30 minutes I said shall I get another drink, she went ballistic at me accusing me of drinking too much and told me to F off I’ll make my own way home in a foreign country when we’re both unsure on directions.
I literally stood there 5 meter away crying on my own whilst she made a point of dragging this drop of drink out.
A miserable walk back to our place and we had an argument and I told her she was a bitch as I’d proposed to her earlier that day.
She had a 7 day stand off to decide if marriage was right for her.
She invited me to meet her friends at the pub at start of relationship we was both pretty tipsy but in good spirits, one of the male friends offered me a shot I said yeah go on then and as it was literally placed in my hand she snatched it out and said you ain’t drinking that you’ll be drunk (although she was more drunk than me)
I felt really belittled and said to the bloke she tells me off if I put too much food in the dogs bowl (joking)
She hit the roof!
I said I’m going and walked out of the pub, on the way out I heard her best friend say to her it’s you Karen!
And she just let me leave alone and stayed out till late drinking and sniffing cocaine.
Next morning told me how bad I am till I cried again and even said the cheek of my mate saying it’s you wtf!
There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. People who do not experience self-love have little or no capacity to love others.
You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!
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