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Should I move thousands of miles away and move in with my love?

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  • Should I move thousands of miles away and move in with my love?

    Hello, I lived in Hawaii doing work trade and becoming disabled for 6 years, and I grew really close with this man I'll call him Joe.
    Joe and I love to talk, we love to just hang out and cuddle, we like to go on adventures we like to give each other suggestions and improve each other and we never yell or get angry but sometimes we get sensitive and especially Joe can have a freak out he's a pothead. He's been a major high-dose pothead since he was 16 so he is very socially anxious and paranoid how about some things sometimes. He doesn't trust the government for example. But he's been married he was married straight out of high school and it was very horrible and traumatic for him, and it's when his mental health reached the lowest state of his life and he even went back to this woman and after they divorced cuz he needed help and it causes even more damage...
    So this guy is scared to death of commitment and especially living with someone, he's just sure that whenever you live with someone you break up
    He really really really wants to live with me and I really really want to live with him and we miss each other a lot and love each other very much and have loved each other for a very long time and call each other boyfriend and girlfriend and he's a very practical Virgo and I'm a very dreamy Pisces and he's really stuck just sure that he needs to do the Practical thing all too often.
    Anyway there is a risk that if I live with him in Hawaii he'll get freaked out and run away and then I'll be stranded and without the help I need to like get my groceries let alone be mentally healthy to get to nice places to socialize and especially to socialize with my best friend lover
    He says that he can commit to taking care of me by helping me get groceries and hanging out with me for sure no matter what for 2 years if I get in on the housing there, but I'm low income and don't qualify for the housing because I'm not homeless or in a domestic dispute or a veteran or involuntarily displaced and I don't have high enough income to rent a place or buy a property with my needs. I need a place with plumbing and electricity and quiet quiet quiet quiet it's the social part of my brain that's damaged so I need quiet.
    So anyway there's a slight chance I might get SSA back pay and he might decide he loves me and misses me enough to go in on buying a house together

    But many years ago when I was mentally ill he went to another state to do work and just left me and he's regretted it over and over and he's changed and gotten stronger at recognizing my needs and caring about me but he's very afraid that I'll get too week and he won't be able to handle it
    And I'm just a little worried about that too because he can get really freaked out on rare occasions but like the one time that happened in front of me because an important thing went missing that we were worried maybe I accidentally lost it or he lost it anyway I talked him through it after I remember to take my panic attack medicine and then he felt bad about it for like a year and he finally feels okay but anyway if like I was just you know a major bummer to him for a whole month straight for example I just don't know how freaked out my dear love of my life would get
    We both are disabled in certain ways so
    Anyway I really really really want to try this cuz I really really need to try living with the man of my dreams the love of my life for 7 years now we always keep talking on the phone and emailing and stuff sending each other stuff he'll come visit me once a year twice a year it's awesome and we help each other get stronger it's a really good relationship
    And of course I should just try visiting him in Hawaii for a month to see how we do and to be fair cuz I haven't been strong enough to visit him
    But anyway I would really really love to get your opinions on this
    Especially if you're a Pisces experienced with a Virgo thanks a lot
    Oh and Joe is 56 and I'm 32 so that kind of makes a difference he's in really good physical shape but mental health you know he's really sensitive
    And I'm prone to panic attack and seizures but I really have it under control this last year but it's cuz I mostly just have to stay home alone
    We could live together if you know he had his man cave and I had my woman den and we weren't allowed to intrude on each other's space so we got the rest we needed

  • #2
    Where do you live now?
    What does your family think about you moving?
    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


    • #3
      My family knows that I really feel out only be happy if I go back to Hawaii. I live in Wisconsin. All my nerve damage makes this cold unbearable and people here are not friendly the way I'm used to in Hawaii
      But in Hawaii but in Hawaii the bus stop is Miles Away and that's too far for me
      But it's the social part of my brain that's injured and the only way I get to socialize is painfully using the internet and my tablet and it's not satisfying and didn't Hawaii either open-minded people who are generally a bit more caring when you talk to them. They sure don't follow through and help you out at least from the hippie punatic Rainbow Tribe, aka the drug addict scene, but when you have a brain injury people like hippies tend to be just more like the way my brain works childlike open-minded creative so theyre people I can hang out with if I remember right
      But but most of all I think I'll be happy just being with Joe we both very much love each other
      but my boyfriend does care about me and help me we've just never tried it long term
      When I lived in Hawaii with him it was before my traumatic brain injury and I was much stronger and I had mental health issues that cropped up in those are healed now
      So I really want to live with him because I'm so lonely and unhappy here in Wisconsin I'm not conservative and I'm creative an open-minded and people around here are scary
      Last edited by Leilaloha; January 7th, 2018, 05:58 PM.