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Should I end it or keep going

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  • Should I end it or keep going

    It will take me a while to type. Hope I selected the right section.
    reasons to split
    shes a stay in im a go out. But I cant stay out over night
    she has bad habbits that drive me nuts and or make me feel.sick
    I only get on with her mum and stepdad
    she constantly acquires mental health issues. Its comes and goes. But currently on long term sick.
    im not physically attracted to her
    except cooking dinner shes useless around the house
    she gets things but doesnt look after them
    I feel embarrassed when we go.out together
    shes a hesitant driver.
    if I say something she doesn't like she cries in 16 years we have never argued
    I could stay out over night
    I can have a nice home and friends round
    I would loose some income
    I cant borrow her car if problem with mine
    She has issues which means we cant sleep in same bed

    reasons to stay together
    shes raised my son as own and they get on well
    she doesnt drink so when we do go out I cancan drink
    we/she has a dog son me would miss him
    I can borrow ger car if need to. I do have my own
    financially better off
    16 years is a long time to maybe I should try
    she gets me and we had some great times. Just there less and less
    She doesnt have many friends family
    shes mentally ill I should support her
    She has a pure heart and sole
    Last edited by Keithrg76; November 29th, 2017, 04:53 PM.

  • #2
    The danger with your list, Keith, is it sounds like you've already made up your mind. Regardless our voices may not matter in the end anyway. What we can do is lending a listening ear and make you feel welcome and comfortable on this site. Some of the items you've listed, if you don't mind me saying, are a bit narrow-minded. You're looking at small issues to help you make a big decision. One issue I have a question about is the stay in or go out. What do you mean you like to go out and stay out? Has this developed over time and have you changed or have you always liked to stay out? The very fact that you want to spend more time away from home could be due to the fact that you can't really stand her and don't respect her. Despite her pure heart and soul it sounds like you pity her. She probably knows it too and that's very painful.

    I know couples who haven't slept in the same bed for most of their marriage. This doesn't really mean anything. It could be due to other sleep issues, snoring, differing schedules etc. This is why I mentioned some of the issues you brought up seem quite minor in the bigger scheme.


    • #3
      I agree. Ive always liked going out. But shes become less and less interested and wants to stay home. If we do go out we have to come home and if I go out alone in expected home. I agree I am slightly narrow minded but want to be honest.
      Because off dog we dont go on holiday either.


      • #4
        I am really sorry to hear about this as it sounds like the relationship is a bit in a rut. I went through a period like this myself with my fiance and became a complete homebody. I paint and generally have a lot of creative things to do around the house which more than keeps me preoccupied. My fiance had to push me out of my bubble and I really wasn't even that happy with my own routine. Immediately after snapping out of that I saw things in a different light and appreciated the new activities. Have you really tried to talk to her about how unhappy you feel and how you envision a rewarding relationship? There comes a point when even after all this help, if a person doesn't respond to you, and isn't willing to work with you, it may be time to go separate ways. She needs to work with you too.


        • #5
          We have talked things often get better for a while but then go down hill again. I scared to talk to.her incase make her worse. She does my mental health no good. I wondering if im doing the same.


          • #6
            Are you happy? If you aren't happy there's a whole lot of happiness out there trying to find you...
            Life doesn't have to be lived this way.