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My parents donít believe in our relationship because of the age difference

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  • My parents donít believe in our relationship because of the age difference

    My parents donít believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need advice please!!!

    I just want to clarify, my parents are good people. They donít mean to be offensive, I guess theyíre just not used to the concept of such a large age gap between partners. For a bit of backstory, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. We met on this site called Loveme, and as far as relationships go, this might be my best one.

    Sheís really intelligent, sometimes it feels like sheís smarter than me. Sheís funny, and just hearing her voice on the other side of the line can turn a bad day around. I see a future with this woman, and itís amazing. Now hereís the catch: sheís 26, and Iím 38. We donít see a problem with it, age really isnít an issue. Our friends are genuinely happy for us.

    But when I introduced her to my family a few months ago, they completely closed themselves off from our relationship. They think itís ďimproperĒ that Iím dating someone so young, and everytime they call, the first thing they ask is if weíre still together. I want them to be happy for us, especially since Iím planning on proposing. Their support would mean so much for our relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How did you guys handle it? Any advice would really help out a lot.

  • #2
    Age differences can be an indication of some serious problems which is what your family might be reacting to. However, they don't automatically indicate problems. Your age difference is significant but not outrageous--at least to me.

    The issue is really more about maturity level and life experience. You've been on this earth over 30% more than your girlfriend. That's a lot of life experience and, presumably, maturity.

    As for your family, has your girlfriend spent any time with them? Is she able to have a normal conversation and adult interactions with them?

    And what is your relationship history? Have you been married before? Or any long-term relationships?


    • #3
      I also don't think the age difference is outrageous as Pollon said but yes it is significant.

      I also would like to know about yours and her relationship history?

      Do either of you have children?

      Mostly i would like to know why it took 2 years for you to introduce her to your parents?
      Did they know of her before that and did they know the age gap before that?
      Did they only have an issue after meeting her? Why not before?


      • #4
        What's the socio-economic situation of both of you individually? Obviously if you're in a better financial state and own property and she has no real direction in life or is a new university grad with no job in sight, this could be a potential issue for parents. Remember, the people expressing concern here are the people who gave birth to you, changed your diapers, took you to your first day of school and probably taught you how to drive and made your lunch boxes and cleaned your face, your underwear and bought you new shoes as a growing boy every 3 months for 18 years. I am also curious about your intellectual background and if you have similar education. Those factors help a lot in interaction and shared goals/values.
        Last edited by Rose Mosse; November 29th, 2017, 04:02 AM.


        • #5
          Misread post.
          Last edited by SarahLancaster; November 29th, 2017, 10:56 AM.
          "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


          • #6
            I think Rose is trying to say that these people are your parents who took good care of you, so you should listen to their opinion. That's my guess anyway!

            Not the worst age difference I've heard of. As the others pointed it's much more to do with maturity and life goals rather than simply the numbers.

            It's worth taking some time to think about long term compatibility. Since she's 26, she's probably thinking about having kids in the next few years. Are you open to that idea, or do you already have kids?

            It will help if you answer the questions posed by the other members.
            Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.


            • #7
              Ah...thanks. I totally misread that. lol
              "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay