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  • bitter towards girlfriend soon to be fiance

    i have been with my girlfriend for about 6 months now and we moved in together not that long ago. we have known each other for about 3 years now. at first our relationship seemed great but now i have doubts about either me or my girlfriend. over the last few days i have been feeling very bitter and angry towards her, shes a marijuana user and i had told her i wasn't okay with it and she was upset with me but overall she stopped using it because she understood my point of view. now, she has a gay best friend who is very deeply close with her. he is also my friend. i get very angry when she brings him around because i feel he is in my relationship as well. we are also going to get married and i have i guess certain expectation about how she should behave. she mostly centers herself around the party drugs and alcohol crowd which i am not okay with anymore. i just kind of want her to be on the same page as me but it looks like it wont happen. i think i might be growing up too quick. now my question is...why do i feel so bitter and angry towards her????? i know i love her, but now i am starting to doubt if we are truly on the same page especially if we want to get married soon.... what should i do?

  • #2
    Re: bitter towards girlfriend soon to be fiance

    I think you answered your own question there, honey. You have grown apart from her- the things that she wants to do in life (party, drink, use recreational drugs) are not things that you want to do and the fact that she has not changed is embittering you towards her. It sounds like you two simply are not matched anymore and that is normal. As to what you should do- end it, is probably the best thing to do, otherwise it's just going to be more of the same until the relationship collapses on itself.

    I'm going to boot this over to Long Haul for more people to weigh in on.
    "All this has happened before. All this will happen again."

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    • #3
      Re: bitter towards girlfriend soon to be fiance

      What does she say when you tell her that you aren't OK with her drug usage?
      How old are you two? Sounds like early 20s?
      PLEASE use PARAGRAPHS when you post, we’re more likely to read your post.
      For more information on paragraphs please press your enter key whilst typing a post.

      They're = They are (eg, They're not wearing any clothes!)
      Their = Possessive (eg, Check out their boobies!)
      There = locality (eg There is a naked chick in the water)
      Your = Possessive (eg I can see your boobies through that wet t-shirt)
      You're = You are (eg You're getting dressed? Damn...)

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      • #4
        Re: bitter towards girlfriend soon to be fiance

        You entered the relationship knowing who her friends where and what drugs she liked to do. She didn't change, she just failed to meet YOUR hopes that she would.

        What you are is sad and disappointed that the relationship didn't progress as you'd hoped and is now slipping away.

        However, those aren't really "manly" emotions. So you replace them with stronger ones like bitterness and anger. Emotions that are probably better directed at yourself for ignoring who she really is and spending the last six months trying to change her.

        It may be time to let her be who she is and apologize for trying to change her.

        And if you can't live with who she is, let her go.

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        • #5
          Re: bitter towards girlfriend soon to be fiance

          We are both 21 i am actually gonna be 22 in march, at first she didnt like that i wasnt ok with her using drugs but now she understands me and has stopped using them

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          • #6
            Re: bitter towards girlfriend soon to be fiance

            Thank you pollon and water nymph for your advice, i agree with your points of views, sometimes i feel like i am forcing something that isnt going to go anywhere

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            • #7
              Re: bitter towards girlfriend soon to be fiance

              I think Pollon puts up a great view on what you should do. Pretty much it'll just take time in order to know what to do next.

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