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CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

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  • #16
    CONTENT Basic Datiquette

    hey Dexter, and i think this forum discontinued the allowence of sexual content a while back, i wouldnt post anything until a mod has seen this post and answered your question so you kno for sure

    pretty sure its not allowd tho

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    • #17
      Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

      mini696 has given us some wonderful suggestions, I agree with you Mini.

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      • #18
        Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

        Originally posted by Kuky View Post
        - How defensive need I get if someone starts hitting on her? Yeah, stick up for her and everything, but if it looks like he might get rowdy, should I kick his ass or walk away?
        As a girl, I will expect a guy to stand up for me. If a guy walks away, or lets a dude hit on me, I'd definitely lose some respect for him. I don't expect a fight or anything, but at least if he can show me that he can protect me if I need it, that's what's important

        Originally posted by Kuky View Post
        - Who pays and when?
        A guy should definitely offer to pay. Especially on the first day. Call me high-maintenance, but if a guy asks me to go dutch, i'd be a little pissed. I will definitely offer to pay the next time, or at least pay for my half, but I'd prefer it if a guy didn't hint on it.
        Another thing is that if a guy asks me to dinner or whatever, he should be prepared to pay. Just like if I ask him out somewhere, I'll make sure to bring extra cash.


        Originally posted by Kuky View Post
        - What if we discuss beforehand not to let any of these silly awkward situations ruin the fun?
        Honestly, dating is a lot of fun. People should not take it so seriously. Everyone makes mistakes and has awkward situations. That's life. Honestly I don't care about impressing people on dates. I'm me... take it or leave it. And I have a lot of fun, so does my date. Guys should relax and not try too hard.

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        • #19
          Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

          poor rose seller... give the guy a buck

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          • #20
            Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

            This being a girl I've recently had a few conversations with and have known for about 2 months...When I pick her up at her door which happens to be a top floor apartment for our first date do I offer my hand for her to hold or would that be weird? If we happen to go for walk do we hold hands? I get the impression shes the type of girl who would like these gestures but I'm not sure.

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            • #21
              Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

              I'll try and give this a crack if that's cool

              - How should I behave? How shouldn't I behave?
              You should be yourself. Sounds too easy, especially when you're nervous as fuck and a bit excited. Be polite. Show off your humorous side. Don't be a slob.

              - I'm nervous, should I play it cool, or should I mention it?
              I think it depends on the kind of nervousness you have. If it's getting to be a bit too much, and you feel like it's actually making you look like someone other than who you are, mention it. "I'm usually much more relaxed, but I was anticipating this so much that I am a bit nervous."

              - Where do I draw the line of tackiness? Should I be opening doors ALL the time?
              Read the other person's body language. For guys, it depends. Sure, it's nice, but don't make a show out of it. Just be casual and open the door. If you open the door, swing your arm dramatically and say, "Enter my lady" she may be turned off. If she has a sense of humor and you're being funny, I'm sure it'll be fine. Don't take chivalry too seriously. Don't fight for the door. If she gets there first, and she goes for it, just let her, and grab the door after she's halfway through.

              - Some asshole walks up to our table and asks me if I would like to buy the lady a rose... Oh god, what now?!?!?
              This happens? Just check her facial expressions when the guy asks. If she smiles big she may really enjoy one... if she seems disinterested or awkward, say no thank you.

              - How defensive need I get if someone starts hitting on her? Yeah, stick up for her and everything, but if it looks like he might get rowdy, should I kick his ass or walk away?
              Just take her by the hand and take her elsewhere. If he starts hassling you, try to be as polite as possible. If you ask him to have a word with you in private this could be the go. It shows that you're mature and you're not possessive.

              - How should we dress? What if I'm relatively under/overdressed when we meet? Do you discuss this beforehand???
              Just ask what she's thinking of wearing, and try to do something similar. If she says something like, "Oh, I don't know..." then you're kind of out of luck. Best bet is just to be clean, wear a nice shirt and jeans. Can't go wrong with that.

              - Who pays and when?
              If you're the guy, I suggest that you pick up the tab the first time. If she wants to pay, she should let you know. If she insists, you should let her. Don't be pushy. Don't expect her to pay, or expect her to go halves... unless you guys have discussed it BEFORE the date.

              - What if we discuss beforehand not to let any of these silly awkward situations ruin the fun?
              Then you stick to that? Enjoy the silly moments and laugh at them.
              "Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity" ~ Edwin Hubbel Chapin

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              • #22
                Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                - How should I behave? How shouldn't I behave?Like yourself. If they asked you out it's because they like you. It sounds easy, but sometimes it's not. Laugh, talk, play like you do with your closest friends.

                - I'm nervous, should I play it cool, or should I mention it?
                Mention it. Bring up the bright pink elephant in the room and laugh at it. That's the best way to deal with the nervousness is to address it.

                - Where do I draw the line of tackiness? Should I be opening doors ALL the time?
                No! Half and half I always say. I love chivalry but I have been able to open doors for a while. My best friend likes to open up car doors for me, which is cool, but I do get annoyed at him when he tries to open up my drivers side door for me when I'm ready to leave.

                - Some asshole walks up to our table and asks me if I would like to buy the lady a rose... Oh god, what now?!?!?
                Nah man, he got roses for me already. =) (Even if he didn't)

                - How defensive need I get if someone starts hitting on her? Yeah, stick up for her and everything, but if it looks like he might get rowdy, should I kick his ass or walk away?
                Walk away. No good date has blood involved. I am way more attracted to a man who can walk away from a confrontation than add to it.

                - How should we dress? What if I'm relatively under/overdressed when we meet? Do you discuss this beforehand???
                Ask. "Will Jeans and a nice top be okay?"

                - Who pays and when?
                My rule is either go dutch, or one person pays while the other tips, or if you're going to a dinner and a movie someone pays for dinner while the other pays for the movie.

                - What if we discuss beforehand not to let any of these silly awkward situations ruin the fun?
                Again, laugh at the giant pink elephant in the room. Laughter is the best icebreaker.
                "I believe in Christ as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."
                -C.S. Lewis

                "Love is not an affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."
                -C.S. Lewis

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                • #23
                  Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                  To help you more out, here are some signs that you are ready to date.

                  1.)You believe that optimism plays a vital role in the dating field. Being bitter and negative will open doors for rejection.

                  2.)Even if some situation didn’t turn out well, you are determined to have a good time and make the most out of the situation.

                  3.)You know and believe that you are going to meet awesome and wonderful men.
                  You believe that dating is fun.

                  4.)You are aware of individual differences and respect each person’s oddness.

                  5.)You are willing to look at the person skin deep. Yes, he may be bald or has the weirdest laugh you ever heard, but still you consider how chivalrous and sensible he is.

                  6.)You are ready to date when have totally moved on from your past relationship and you no longer curse and hex your ex.

                  7.)You no longer feel sorry about your failed relationship.

                  8.)You can honestly say to yourself that you are ready to love and be loved.

                  9.)You are mature enough to take the responsibilities of your actions. No blaming, no justifying.

                  10.)You don’t expect any man to complete you.

                  11.)You have a clear view of your limitations.

                  12.)You are aware that it’s no one’s job to make you happy.

                  13.)You know you are ready to date when you are not afraid to reject and get rejected.

                  14.)You know you are ready to date when you are ready to move on from a bad rendezvous, without taking it out on yourself.
                  Last edited by Deidre; August 5th, 2010, 06:11 AM. Reason: No spam, thanks.
                  (thanks for not sig-spamming)

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                  • #24
                    Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                    Originally posted by Kuky View Post
                    - How should I behave? How shouldn't I behave?
                    Don't take it too seriously. It's just the first date with one girl, one of millions of girls out there. It's not a big deal. You don't want to make a big deal out of it like you never get dates. Just relax and have fun. You're not there to get something from this girl, you're there to get to know her and build a connection.

                    Originally posted by Kuky View Post
                    - I'm nervous, should I play it cool, or should I mention it?
                    Never show that you are nervous. Never. Play it cool and be confident. Being nervous sends nothing but bad messages. It says that you don't get a lot of dates and are worried about this one not going well, it says that you're insecure and that you don't believe you deserve her, you care if she likes you or not, you want her approval, etc.

                    Originally posted by Kuky View Post
                    - Where do I draw the line of tackiness? Should I be opening doors ALL the time?
                    I don't consider doing things like opening doors and things like that to be "tacky". It's not so much the act as why you're doing it. If you're doing it because that's just who you are, then great. What's not great is if you're doing these things just to get something from her. These actions should come from a place of security and non-neediness.

                    One thing I do like to do is to do something gentlemanly while also teasing her. Like if she's a more petite girl and it's a big door, I'll open it for her and when she says thanks I'll tease her with something like, "I just wasn't sure if you'd be able to open it all by yourself" with a cocky kind of grin.

                    Originally posted by Kuky View Post
                    - Some asshole walks up to our table and asks me if I would like to buy the lady a rose... Oh god, what now?!?!?
                    Where the hell does that kind of thing even happen? I would never take a girl out on a first date to the kind of place where they have a guy selling roses to couples. If you've been with the girl for a while, then it may be a good move, but I would still joke about the cheesiness of it.

                    Originally posted by Kuky View Post
                    - How defensive need I get if someone starts hitting on her? Yeah, stick up for her and everything, but if it looks like he might get rowdy, should I kick his ass or walk away?
                    If a guy starts hitting on your girl, whether you just met her, it's the first date, or you've been together for awhile, don't react negatively. Don't be jealous. Seriously. Jealousy stems from insecurity. Insecurity is unattractive.

                    If you can, just take your girl, remove yourselves from the situation and don't even mention it. Act like it never happened. If you can't walk away, like you're standing in a line or you're in the middle of a meal, then just make the guy look boring and don't give him a chance to hit on your girl. Take over the conversation and just bombard the guy with logical questions (Where you from? Come here often? What time's their happy hour? etc.). He'll give up.

                    And then of course there's the guy that just won't quit, the asshole, the drunk guy, the one who's starting to get on your nerves. You may think you're tough or the alpha male by threatening him or beating him up, but it really doesn't make you look good. Only resort to violence if he's actually trying to hurt you or your girl. If you're at a place with security or bouncers, let them do their jobs and get rid of the guy.

                    If you're ever in a situation where you have to deal with another guy, just stay calm and don't let him get an emotional reaction out of you. If you do anything, it should be because you're a man who simply won't tolerate certain behavior, not because you're jealous and threatened by his presence. I could elaborate but I've written enough on this one.

                    Originally posted by Kuky View Post
                    - How should we dress? What if I'm relatively under/overdressed when we meet? Do you discuss this beforehand???
                    You should be the one setting the date, and therefore should know what kind of dress code there is, if any. If anything, you should be letting her know how to dress for the occasion.

                    Originally posted by Kuky View Post
                    - Who pays and when?
                    The man should always assume he'll be paying, and be ready to. Throw out all that crap about how women have become financially independent, are starting to earn more than men, blah blah blah. Call it a double standard, but like it or not, society still tells us that the man should pay. Deal with it. If you're not loaded, then find something to do that doesn't cost much money.

                    Just don't try and impress a girl with your money. It never works, unless she's a gold digger, in which case you wouldn't want her anyway. If a man brags about how much money he makes or what kind of car he drives, all the girl is hearing is, "I don't think you would like me if I didn't have this much money". It sends the message that you feel like you have to pay for her time, and that who you are isn't enough to make her like you.

                    So when the bill comes, expect that you're paying for it. If she says she wants to cover it or split it, just say, "It's ok, I've got this". If she keeps insisting, then just let her pay. Don't make paying the bill awkward. Avoid awkwardness in general.

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                    • #25
                      Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                      [QUOTE=Kuky;175647
                      These are the unwritten rules of dating. Unwritten rules are bendable, and they depend on the people involved, but there's still a core set that you should default to when not certain.[/quote]



                      - How should I behave? How shouldn't I behave?
                      Be respectful, show the basic social niceties, but be oneself.
                      - I'm nervous, should I play it cool, or should I mention it?
                      No, it shows a lack of confidence.
                      - Where do I draw the line of tackiness? Should I be opening doors ALL the time?
                      I don't think so. If somebody is by nature a gentleman, then so be it.
                      - Some asshole walks up to our table and asks me if I would like to buy the lady a rose... Oh god, what now?!?!?
                      Accommodate him.
                      - How defensive need I get if someone starts hitting on her? Yeah, stick up for her and everything, but if it looks like he might get rowdy, should I kick his ass or walk away?
                      No, since he may call the police or pull a knife. If he attacks her or you, then yes defend yourself.
                      - How should we dress? What if I'm relatively under/overdressed when we meet? Do you discuss this beforehand???
                      Depends on the location/event.
                      - Who pays and when?
                      Depends on the attitudes of the two parties.
                      - What if we discuss beforehand not to let any of these silly awkward situations ruin the fun?
                      That's entirely up to them.

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                      • #26
                        Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                        The most important thing you can do is show confidence. You showed appear laid back and relaxed. Try to have a laugh with the women. You should dress reasonably smart. However, it's more important you feel comfortable in what you are wearing.

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                        • #27
                          Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                          Originally posted by mondial1990 View Post
                          This being a girl I've recently had a few conversations with and have known for about 2 months...When I pick her up at her door which happens to be a top floor apartment for our first date do I offer my hand for her to hold or would that be weird? If we happen to go for walk do we hold hands? I get the impression shes the type of girl who would like these gestures but I'm not sure.
                          Holding hands is a nice touch if you like each other. Someone who did it within the first 10 minutes, not always good. But you can start with the simple gesture of grabbing her hand to lead her out of the door. And then "leading" her with your hand at her upper back. If she feels comfy she might get a little closer or grab your arm or something else.

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                          • #28
                            Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                            -Where should I take her?

                            Anywhere anytime, wherever YOU want to go.

                            -Should I act a certain way?

                            Confident, Charming and responsible. Lead her, you make all the advances, don't hesitate, don't apologize for advancing if she is resistant. Just keep making her more comfortable. You will know when "no" means keep going and "NO" means stop it.

                            -What should I wear? I hate the way X body part looks!

                            Whatever you want as long as you feel comfertable, your overweight body or square face means nothing if your behavior is attractive. Do trim, brush your teeth and wear clean cloths.

                            -I'm nervous, how can I calm down? What if she X?

                            Theres nothing to be nervous about, it's all mind games. Remember, you're the most attractive male on the planet. Stop your what if's, one moment at a time. Be sincere, give compliments generously, if you're really interested, show her, women love guys who are into them, it's a huge compliment.

                            - How defensive need I get if someone starts hitting on her? Yeah, stick up for her and everything, but if it looks like he might get rowdy, should I kick his ass or walk away?
                            I really like this one! You should take her hand and lead her away with you, protecting her.

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                            • #29
                              Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                              I think if this thread shows anything, it's that everyone is different. People respond very differently to the door being/not being opened for them etc so you are better off either doing what comes naturally and weeding out the people who don't allow you to be yourself, or if you are just trying to get laid, playing it situation to situation.

                              I'd like the rose, but the alcohol line kills me.
                              Your life doesn’t get better by chance. It gets better by choice.

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                              • #30
                                Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                                I think if this thread shows anything, it's that people react differently to the same things. You are better off doing what comes naturally and finding the people who accept that.

                                That being said I don't even know what I want. I'd love the rose or the alcohol line!
                                Your life doesn’t get better by chance. It gets better by choice.

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