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CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

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  • CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

    (read this thread first)

    These are the unwritten rules of dating. Unwritten rules are bendable, and they depend on the people involved, but there's still a core set that you should default to when not certain.

    - How should I behave? How shouldn't I behave?
    - I'm nervous, should I play it cool, or should I mention it?
    - Where do I draw the line of tackiness? Should I be opening doors ALL the time?
    - Some asshole walks up to our table and asks me if I would like to buy the lady a rose... Oh god, what now?!?!?
    - How defensive need I get if someone starts hitting on her? Yeah, stick up for her and everything, but if it looks like he might get rowdy, should I kick his ass or walk away?
    - How should we dress? What if I'm relatively under/overdressed when we meet? Do you discuss this beforehand???
    - Who pays and when?
    - What if we discuss beforehand not to let any of these silly awkward situations ruin the fun?

    - (I know most of these are from a guy's standpoint, but don't be limited by the suggestions, ladies have all kinds of issues I bet I can't think of on a whim)
    Last edited by Kuky; October 2nd, 2006, 01:33 PM.
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  • #2
    Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

    Originally posted by Kuky
    - How should I behave? How shouldn't I behave?
    Like you are yourself. Dont try to be false, but be on your 'better' behavour.

    Originally posted by Kuky
    - I'm nervous, should I play it cool, or should I mention it?
    Mention it. The other person is probably feeling the same way, and it can be a good ice-breaker to have a laugh about.

    Originally posted by Kuky
    - Where do I draw the line of tackiness? Should I be opening doors ALL the time?
    If you are first to the door, yes (but that is normal for me. Dont barge her over trying to get to the door before her. Pulling her seat out might be stretching it a bit far too, however it does set the tone of "Hey I like you a lot, and I am trying to impress". I wouldnt do it though.

    Originally posted by Kuky
    - Some asshole walks up to our table and asks me if I would like to buy the lady a rose... Oh god, what now?
    Depends on how 'well-off' you are. But I would do it, cos it gives her a reminder of you during the next few days. Maybe say no, and get her one on your second date "I got you this because he didn't have your favourite colour on our first date".
    Look at her as soon as he asks, and guage her reaction, if she scoff's dont buy one, laugh at how tacky it is, and that you prefer to get flowers for her on a whim, not just because it is convenient (sic). If you see him walking around early in the night, get one before he reaches your table, (again guage her reaction to seeing the seller in the room before the situation reaches panic proportions).

    Originally posted by Kuky
    - How defensive need I get if someone starts hitting on her? Yeah, stick up for her and everything, but if it looks like he might get rowdy, should I kick his ass or walk away?
    Guage her reaction to him, she will look to you for help if she needs it. Girls are more than capable of looking after themselves. You may need to tell him (nicely) to leave. Dont walk away, dont leave her alone with him (especially if he is a stranger to her), but dont try to prove you are full of testosterone by burring up to him.

    Originally posted by Kuky
    - How should we dress? What if I'm relatively under/overdressed when we meet? Do you discuss this beforehand?
    If the other person has suggested a place, ask them what is required. Dont get into specifics though, just the general code. If you think you may need a jacket and/or tie but arent sure, have one in the car and decide when you get to the venue. Scope the place out before the date. Phone in and ask the owners what most people go in. But for god's sake, dress clean, and smell nice!!

    Originally posted by Kuky
    - Who pays and when?
    If you want to pay, ask if they mind if you do. If they pay, say "It's my turn next time".

    Originally posted by Kuky
    - What if we discuss beforehand not to let any of these silly awkward situations ruin the fun?
    Well thats a good thing. The sign of a good date is being able to laugh at situations like these. If you let it get to you and look all depressed because it didnt go perfect, your date will laugh at you behind your back, its better to have fun about it together.
    "MaJiK" www.mini696.deviantart.com
    -"What anyone thinks of me, is none of my business" Peter Brock
    -There are many things I fear in life, but disappointing you is my greatest.

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    • #3
      Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

      If the other person has suggested a place, ask them what is required. Dont get into specifics though, just the general code. If you think you may need a jacket and/or tie but arent sure, have one in the car and decide when you get to the venue. Scope the place out before the date. Phone in and ask the owners what most people go in. But for god's sake, dress clean, and smell nice!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

        Originally posted by Kuky View Post
        (read this thread first)

        These are the unwritten rules of dating. Unwritten rules are bendable, and they depend on the people involved, but there's still a core set that you should default to when not certain.

        - How should I behave? How shouldn't I behave?

        Behave like she really isnt all that important... Yea you think she is cute and interesting and all but your surrounded by beautiful women all the time, and its no big deal.... thats how you want her to be thinking about you.

        - I'm nervous, should I play it cool, or should I mention it?

        Never let her know you are nervous, dont give her the privelege to have that kind of impact on you, make her work for that.... Trust me she will appreciate it later.

        - Where do I draw the line of tackiness? Should I be opening doors ALL the time?

        You should never under any circumstances do anything like that for a woman until after you have had sex with her. There are reasons for this.

        - Some asshole walks up to our table and asks me if I would like to buy the lady a rose... Oh god, what now?!?!?

        You say,"No thanks, were just friends" I understand you dont want to be just her friend, but this line is golden and it will get you laid.

        - How defensive need I get if someone starts hitting on her? Yeah, stick up for her and everything, but if it looks like he might get rowdy, should I kick his ass or walk away?

        If someone else hits on her, let them... if she doesnt immediately reject him, introduce yourself into the conversation in a friendly manner, display higher value, and befriend him. Never even think about confronting him for "hitting on your girl" thats pathetic and it will give you nothing but another night alone masterbating.

        - How should we dress? What if I'm relatively under/overdressed when we meet? Do you discuss this beforehand???

        Dress like you would if you were attending the same venue with your best "guy" friend. Lucky for us, how a guy dresses isnt really all that important. If she asks you how she should dress just tell her to look nice.

        - Who pays and when?

        If she shows you the interest that you want to see, pay for her meal. But if she doesnt, dont pay for her meal. It doesnt make you an asshole, you just dont reward a woman for bad behavior.

        - What if we discuss beforehand not to let any of these silly awkward situations ruin the fun?

        Do not discuss anything like that at all... ever.

        - (I know most of these are from a guy's standpoint, but don't be limited by the suggestions, ladies have all kinds of issues I bet I can't think of on a whim)
        I will give the long winded reasons for all these responses if you would like to hear it but, i promise you it will work. Good luck!

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        • #5
          Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

          Excellent post, Justin! My glass is up to you

          The mistake most guys tend to make is to reward things that shouldn't be rewarded, which actually makes them come across as "desperate and fake".

          cheers!
          %0|%0

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          • #6
            Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

            - How should I behave? How shouldn't I behave?

            Behave like she really isnt all that important... Yea you think she is cute and interesting and all but your surrounded by beautiful women all the time, and its no big deal.... thats how you want her to be thinking about you.
            If you are living your life with passion and purpose, then that it what is most important to you. It shows that you define your own existence. If your purpose and passion are clear, then you can show as much interest as you like because she knows where she stands in context of everything else.

            I am a man. I know what I want. I know what I offer. I am inviting her on a journey and if she wants to come, we will have an amazing time. If she doesn't, I am focused on my purpose. Its an opportunity missed but not one I'm going to be upset over.

            - I'm nervous, should I play it cool, or should I mention it?
            Call it out! If you feel nervous, chances are she's already noticed. Mentioning it allows you to let it go. If you don't, you'll keep wondering if she noticed and become more nervous in the process.

            - Where do I draw the line of tackiness? Should I be opening doors ALL the time?
            My parents raised me right. You don't have to open every door but be a gentleman when the opportunity presents itself. It shows class.

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            • #7
              Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

              i agree with mini for the most part... i have a few comments myself...

              Originally posted by justinbucherj View Post
              - Some asshole walks up to our table and asks me if I would like to buy the lady a rose... Oh god, what now?!?!?

              You say,"No thanks, were just friends" I understand you dont want to be just her friend, but this line is golden and it will get you laid.
              this might confuse me. esp if i'm not sure if we're on a date or not. or if i did thought we're on a date... saying that would definitely throw it off for me lol "oh i guess i was mistaken?" and assume it wasnt a date. it could backfire haha

              - Where do I draw the line of tackiness? Should I be opening doors ALL the time?
              call me traditional but it impresses me when the guy opens the door for me. such as cars now a days are automatic lock. i think it's nice that even tho the door is already unlock, he still opened the door for me (to get in). to get out i'm ok on my own lol and everything else i agree with mini.


              - How defensive need I get if someone starts hitting on her? Yeah, stick up for her and everything, but if it looks like he might get rowdy, should I kick his ass or walk away?
              the example i'm about to give of what a guy should do happens a lot. even if you're not trying to impress her or anything. see how she reacts first with the guy. if she's uncomfortable, then pretend you guys are seriously dating.

              go by situation. but what you can do is put your arms around her shoulders and ask, "hey honey, is this man bothering you?" most guys would not hit on a girl if she's with another guy. they usually do it when they are alone. in any case, most girls dont like to be hit on if they are with someone they like already lol

              when you do that, the other guy leaves quick style. so no need to worry. if they get rowdy, 99% chance they are drunk and best to walk away with her anyway.

              - Who pays and when?
              i think if it's the first date, the guy should always offer to pay by taking the check and paying for it. if she asks you how much she owes you, brush it off and tell her that she can get you "next time" (it hints the 2nd date!) if she insists then let her pay for tip.

              eventually she'll pay sometimes, you'll pay sometimes, etc. if she doesnt offer to pay then it's a good sign she'll be high maintenance and probably really spoiled before
              Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. ~Swedish Proverb

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              • #8
                Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                you date to get to know and enjoy...

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                • #9
                  Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                  Originally posted by Kuky View Post
                  How should we dress? What if I'm relatively under/overdressed when we meet? Do you discuss this beforehand???
                  You know when it comes to dating there are some many different things that are running through our head.

                  When we go out on the internet and talk to our girlfriends we get all these conflicting messages of what we should or shouldnt say.

                  Well I'm all about the game and knowing what the rules are so you can play them better, but sometimes we can get so caught up in all the little rules that we are spose to remember that we actually can't enjoy the date anymore.

                  I think the most important thing when we go out on the date, is to enjoy the company of the guy you are with and focus on having a good time and doing what feels right.

                  How can you lose with that?

                  So in regards to dress sense.

                  Dress in something that you feel GREAT in. And that is suitable for the occasion. For example daytime dressing and night time dressing are a little different.

                  This also applies to your hair and makeup.

                  Most important thing to remember is that you are comfortable with how you feel with what you are wearing and whether or not it is practical for the date.

                  Thats it .. and enjoy it!!
                  Hot Alpha Female

                  A constant journey to the ultimate female

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                  • #10
                    Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                    Originally posted by Kuky View Post
                    - Some asshole walks up to our table and asks me if I would like to buy the lady a rose... Oh god, what now?!?!?
                    I'd say "No, but I'll take one. I like roses." And then later on be like "Ok, fine you can have it :-P" and give it to her.

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                    • #11
                      Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                      Originally posted by Gezus View Post
                      I'd say "No, but I'll take one. I like roses." And then later on be like "Ok, fine you can have it :-P" and give it to her.
                      I once said, "no thanks... that's what the alcohol's for" Worked like a charm hehe. Those people are preying on nice guys with weak frames, so it actually works to our benefit to NOT give them money.
                      %0|%0

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                      • #12
                        Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                        wow that is great post interesting to read thanks for sharing this kind of idea..

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                        • #13
                          Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                          what happens when the guy pays and then insists on paying the next time you go out and then insists on paying the next time etc etc. When do you need to jump in and beat him to it? I get that a guy likes to pay so I don't want to take that away from him, but at some point...

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                          • #14
                            Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                            Originally posted by kelly View Post
                            what happens when the guy pays and then insists on paying the next time you go out and then insists on paying the next time etc etc. When do you need to jump in and beat him to it? I get that a guy likes to pay so I don't want to take that away from him, but at some point...
                            maybe you can say "ok well, let me get dessert/drinks then" or you can jump in when you guys are more official. or keep offering until he lets you?
                            Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. ~Swedish Proverb

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                            • #15
                              Re: CONTENT: Basic Datiquette

                              A guy who's over-eager to pay will usually be ready with his CC by the time the waiter arrives with the bill, so it's really best to just agree before you go to dinner. This is not a "serious talk" or anything. Just a casual thing.
                              %0|%0

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