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  • A Beginner's Guide To Kissing

    Yes, this is SO old-school if you know Afian's old site, but this is good to help.

    (As an addition, I do believe someone has the "First Kiss" thread saved...)

    The Types of Kisses

    Aristotelian kiss:
    A kiss performed using techniques gained solely from theoretical speculation untainted by any experiential data by one who feels that the latter is irrelevant anyway.

    Hegelian kiss:
    A dialectical technique in which the kiss incorporates its own antikiss, forming a synthekiss, whatever that means.

    Godelian kiss:
    A kiss that takes an extraordinarily long time, yet leaves you unable to decide whether you've been kissed or not.

    Socratic kiss:
    Actually really a Platonic kiss, but it's claimed to be the Socratic technique so it'll sound more authoritative; however, compared to most strictly Platonic kisses, Socratic kisses wander around a lot more and cover more ground.

    Sartrean kiss:
    A kiss that you worry yourself to death about even though it really doesn't matter anyway.

    Russell-Whiteheadian kiss:
    A formal kiss in which each lip and tongue movement is rigorously and completely defined, even though it ends up seeming incomplete somehow.

    Hertzsprung-Russellian kiss:
    Oh, Be A Fine Girl/Guy, Kiss Me.

    Pythagorean kiss:
    A kiss given by someone who has developed some new and wonderful techniques but refuses to use them on anyone for fear that others would find out about them and start using them.

    Cartesian kiss:
    A particularly well-planned and coordinated movement: "I think, therefore, I aim." In general, a kiss does not count as Cartesian unless it is applied with enough force to remove all doubt that one has been kissed. (cf. Polar kiss, a more well-rounded movement involving greater nose-to-nose contact, but colder overall.)

    Heisenbergian kiss:
    A hard-to-define kiss--the more it moves you, the less sure you are of where the kiss was; the more energy it has, the more trouble you have figuring out how long it lasted. Extreme versions of this type of kiss are known as "virtual kisses" because the level of uncertainty is so high that you're not quite sure if you were kissed or not. Virtual kisses have the advantage, however, that you need not have anyone else in the room with you to enjoy them.

    Nietzscheian kiss:
    "She/He who does not kiss you, makes your lust stronger."

    Epimenidian kiss:
    A kiss given by someone who does not kiss.

    Grouchoic kiss:
    A kiss given by someone who will only kiss those who would not kiss him or her.

    Harpoic kiss:
    Shut up and kiss me.

    Zenoian kiss:
    Your lips approach, closer and closer, but never actually touch.

    Procrustean kiss:
    Well, suffice it to say that it is a technique that, once you've experienced it, you'll never forget it, especially when applied to areas of the anatomy other than the lips.


    The Forms of Lip Kissing

    Eskimo Kiss: Lightly rubbing your noses together.

    Peck: A short kiss with just the lips.
    - Closed Mouth: You meetlips and just kinda move them around, but keep them closed
    - Open Mouth: Like closed lip, but open lips some. Move them around and pull back periodically.
    -> Surprise Kissing: This type of kiss is done when your partner is lying down on a sofa or ground, either asleep or lying with their eyes closed. Quietly approach your partner and place a small, very gentle kiss on their lips. Intensify the kiss once they wake up.
    -> Vacuum Kissing: While in an open mouth kiss, suck in deeply so that your sucking the air from your partner.

    French - Kiss that involves the mingling of tongues. This kiss has many art forms.
    - Cold (Ice) Kiss: Suck on an ice cube, then do a french kiss.
    - Melting Kiss: Variation, pass an ice cube back and forth while french kissing.
    - Glow-stick Frenzy: Pass the mini-glowstick back and forth.
    - Candy Kiss: Use either a jolly rancher or some other hard candy or mint. Either you or your partner place the candy in your/their mouth and then its like a game of keep away. Whoever starts tries to keep the candy in their mouth while the other person tries to get it in theirs. But you can only use your tongue and lips.
    - Tongue Sucking: When you have the chance to get really deep into your partner's mouth, suck on their tongue as far as you can. Dont suck too hard; you dont want to hurt your partner.
    - Name Kiss: Spell your name with your tongue in your partner's mouth.
    - Tongue Wars: Each person tries to get their tongue into the other person's mouth while the other person tries to get their tongue in your mouth. Each person "blocks" the other persons tongue with theirs.
    - The Tickle Kiss: In this kiss make use of the fact that the roof of the mouth is the most ticklish part of the body. While doing a normal french kiss, stroke your tongue across the roof of each other's mouth. You can make this into a game by whoever can stand it the longest without pulling away.
    - StarBurst Trick: Put a starburst in your mouth, and while french kissing try to unwrap it.
    - Marathon Kissing: See how long you can kiss for.
    - Sigh Kiss: When you first start kissing your partner, gently lick their lips with the tip of your tongue, then blow or sigh into their lips.
    - Cordial Kiss: Take a sip of your favorite drink, either alcohol or something sweet, and then when your lips meet pour the drink into your partner's mouth. Take only a very small sip.

    Upside-Down Kiss: Self-explanitory

    Vampire Kiss (aka hickey): Sucking and biting hard anywhere on the body. Please use with caution.

    Suck Kissing: This can be a very seductive type of kiss. Instead of french kissing with your mouths open, while your partner's lips are parted suck on their top or bottom lip with your own, just for a second or two, then go back to another type of kissing or try the other lip.

    Butterfly Kissing: Put your eye really close to your partners cheek/lips and flutter your lashes on their skin.


    The Bad Types of Kisses

    The Roto Rooter: Their tongue ventures so far down your throat that it actually begins to choke you.

    The Swordfish: They operate their tongue much like a swordfish uses it's snout, in a blunt and violent manner.

    The Deep Sea Diver: They rarely come up for air.

    The Lizard: Their tongue darts in and out of your mouth like a reptile probing for its next victim.

    Frozen in Time: They never change the position, posture or angle of their head. It is as if they have mastered kissing cryogenics.

    The Wrecking Ball: They kiss like a battering ram.

    Nick-o-Teen: Kissing them is like licking the contents of a dirty ash tray. When you're done, you feel like taking a shower.

  • #2
    I might as well post the first kiss thread....
    I'll just post the first...post - I sent the entire thread to BigJim - I guess you lot can decide what you want from the other posts in that thread. Some fo them are more useful than others - and it's not really my place to decide that!

    Here ya go



    When?
    When you feel both you, and her, would be comfortable kissing. Also, do it in a private place...I mean, it's not romantic or ANYTHING like that when you kiss in front of alot of people. Just, wait til you guys are alone. It becomes more...personal.

    Where?
    Somewhere when you guys are alone...and, with the lights lower would be nice (not pitch black, but ya know what I mean?) But, the lighting isn't necessary...just make sure you guys are alone.

    How?
    Well...this is the longer part of my post...

    First off...relax. If you don't relax...your screwed. A kiss isn't THAT big of a deal. So just, be calm. This is one of the KEY things to have a great first kiss.

    EYES- Have them open until your lips meet. If you don't...hazards could arise. So, don't close your eyes until your lips meet. That doesn't mean have them WIDE open...just make sure you can see the destination of your lips.

    BREATHING- Your nose is your key access to oxygen. Just...REMEMBER to breathe. You may get caught up in the kiss and forget to breathe. It happens...and this is where relaxing comes in. If you relax...then, breathing isn't that big of a deal.

    TONGUE- When to put your tongue in, you ask? Well, as you're reading this...stick your tongue out. Then, wrap your lips around your tongue...and then without moving your lips, slip your tongue back into your mouth. This is the minimum your mouth can be open to slip your tongue in their mouth. Whenever it feels right, slip your tongue in their mouth. Also, when your tongue IS in their mouth...be creative with your mouth! Continous circles...are BORING! Do something creative with your tongue...draw letters, your name, their name, draw pictures...ANYTHING! Play with the other tongue...tickle the roof of their mouth...SOMETHING! The more creative...the better if feels on their side. Also...do NOT shove your tongue down their throat! I have experienced this...it feels like a GIANT EEL RAPING YOUR MOUTH!! Dear god...just DO NOT DO THAT!

    LIPS- Courtesy of steffy-bee...I learned this. Right now, move your lips so it looks like you're saying the word "LOVE". That's how your lips are supposed to move while you're kissing (thanks steffy-bee!)

    SALIVA- SWALLOW IT!! If you don't, it'll be on the outside of your lips...and it'll be like kissing a slobbery DOG! Yuck...and, your partner will be INCREDIBLY turned off by this. So, swallow the saliva...theirs, yours, anyone elses...SWALLOW IT!! lol

    HANDS- It's just like a big hug. Hold them close to you. If you're a girl...you would just wrap your arms around his neck. Play with his hair then, or kind run your fingers around his neck/back...feels good. Guys...put one arm around her waist, and one around her upper waist...and just hold her close.
    FREE SHOCKA




    Surviving Forum Apolocalypses Since 2000

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    • #3
      alright.. *cracks knuckles* my turn...


      approach a kiss

      -durring a dance, wait till the end of a slow dance, then when the girl starts to move away, kinda hold her in place a moment, tilt your head down and inward a bit (short girls ROCK but will give your neck an ache though) and give her a kiss. you can reverse everything if you're a girl and you wanna kiss your guy.

      -kinda corny. but you're sitting next to your partner, just whisper in their ear "so... what would you do if I kissed you, right now?" I dunno who could resist it if you did the whisper sexily enough.

      -say they're done eating something. and it's the last of whatever it was. say something like "aww, i wanted some of that... hrm.. come over here a moment. *smooch*(or french, whichever your preferance) ..mmmmm tasty". also works if YOU just got finished eating something and they're all like "damn, i wanted some".

      -in the car, saying goodbye. this can make you look like a total dork. so i dont suggest it, but it works, (if anything out of pity). so your date drives you home (i'm assuming you're a guy) and you can say something really cheesy like "let's sit here and listen to the music a bit", then change it to something really soft and romantic. "there we go". then just leen on the arm rest (or put your hand on the back seat) looking at her and say "hello" with a little grin. wait for her to smile back, touch her face and move in. (hey don't knock it, this is how i got my first french kiss, all except the changing the station part)

      -say your arm is around a girl, so you take your other hand, and start rubbing her shoulder lightly, then start moving to the side of her neck, and her ears, chin, then their cheeks, etc. it's all good! you can do this while talking, and predending that nothing is going on. then when theres a pause, just move in and kiss away.


      letting them know you want to french

      -Lick their lips, trace them with your tongue lightly. just about anything. and it feels really good too! especially after you've been kissing a while!

      -it can be hard to judge when to involve the tongue. if you're the girl, it's alot easier for you since the action usualy takes place in the girl's mouth, altho there are definate exceptions.

      -have a decent ammount of "lip contact time", then open your mouth a few times. they'll get the idea.


      how much tongue?

      -that can depend on the person, you'll have to find out trial and error on that one. dont worry, kisses are like Mac'n'Cheese, always better the second time around. just start out with a little, then more.

      -some girls have their tongues low when they kiss, like not sticking out at all. this can be a strain sometimes (i should know. hehe) but it's still fun. just ask they raise their tongue a bit. all'll be cool.

      -well, this is one way you can kiss. see you open your mouth, touch tongues a moment, and close your mouths, then open, rub tongues again, etc. with little or much tongue contact, it depends on your partner. remember that always.. ppl are different


      kinds of kisses

      -French: Kinda obvious, tongues touching, rubbing against eachother etc.
      -Smooch: more than a peck, has more feeling in it, lasts longer, etc. aka a "Real" kiss.
      -Open mouth: FUN! Opening your mouths togeather like you're saying "love". some ppl move their mouths while frenching, some don't. again, depends on the person
      -Peck: obvious isn't it?
      -Nibble: just nibble on eachother's lips with yours. this can also be fun.

      some ppl think it takes no skill to kiss w/o tongues. but it actually does. it takes skill (or it comes extremely naturaly) to put across the emotion and whatnot in a kiss. oh well, might as well practice.


      hands

      -you can run your fingers through his hair.
      -if you're standing you can put your hand on your partner's waist or hip, and rub it gently.
      -everyone loves their faces touched when kissing.
      -you can put it behind your partner's head/neck.
      -or you can just touch their neck (thats what i like to do)
      -"might i suggest, da butt." Ok that sounds more like a Ladies Man kinda move, but seriously, just touch your partner's arse a bit, and maybe if yer feeling frisky, pull them closer
      -my fav thing to do is the sides thing, but sometimes i'll move up her sides to just under the girl's armpits, and onto her back. its umm.. convenient (when you're with a girl anyway) and its easier to pull them closer
      -OR you can just try my handy dandy "blood rule". wherever the blood is close to the surface, its usually sensetive. eg. neck, hands, lips. which is why you touch there. when you're touching someone's neck, try tracing a vein.


      if they're your first kiss

      -who has to let them know? tell them later on. it's just a closed mouth kiss, kinda hard to botch one of those. just let your lips relax and pretend like you do this all the time. let them know later that they were your first. its really good on the ego.

      -If they're your first french then first of all, RELAX. swallow, and breathe thru your nose. find their tongue (if you're the girl then it'll usualy take place in your mouth, just relax, do what he does. and you'll be okay. if you're a guy, just slowly put your tongue in their mouth, and find their tongue, and go slowly.


      if you are their first kiss

      -not much of a problem. if it's just closed mouth, and you know you're their first, just ask them to relax their lips. no problem there.

      -if you're their first french this can be kinda dificult. if you normally move your mouth when you french, don't. it can throw off a newbie. if you're a girl, meet him in the middle, it'll take some of the strain off him, go slow, maybe touch his face or neck a little as you kiss. if you're a guy slowly poke their tongue and wait for them to touch yours back. just remember to go slow, and gentle, and all'll be fine. also touch their face or neck.


      Kissing a new person

      -this can be kinda odd, cos like the first time you kiss a new person, it can be weird if you kiss differently. just relax, and learn to adapt.


      Basic Technique

      -poke! if you arent sure if the person wants to french and your mouths are open, you can poke their tongue with yours! this can lead to tongue tag. which is pretty fun

      -rub the underside of their tongue, it's really sensetive down there. maybe move your tongue back and forth side to side across the tip of theirs.

      -dont worry too much about doing the ABCs or rubbing their gums with your tongue or that crap. you'll lose concentration on what's important, the kiss itself! creativity is important, but seriously who of you here can tickle the roof of your partner's mouth? see more about these kindsa things in the experimental part.

      -start out slow. most people dont kiss fast or rough, unless the mood is right. so just go slow and soft and you'll be ok.

      -tug on their tongue or lips with your lips. not heavily, just lightly. it can be a chore to get their tongue between your lips (i wouldnt reccomend this for a first kiss w/ the person) just break off and whisper softly "i'm trying to get your tongue". it also be weird if they have small lips, i remember I kept trying to grab this one girl's lips for about 2 minutes before i gave up, it was so funny.

      -nuzzle! it's not exactly a kiss, but if your faces are up close (guys, i reccomend you shave some time that day beforehand) just rub cheeks occasionaly.

      -like everyone (over) says, the circle thing can get boring. actually iv never done that. but basically it involves both of you going around eachother's tongues. if you're going clockwise, switch all of a sudden, go counter clockwise, and vice versa.

      -the neck. ahh what a wonderful place. lick, suck, tongue, kiss, nibble (lips), or even bite (very lightly), anything. just go easy and your partner will love it. same with the ear, just breathe lightly thru your nose. and dont stick your tongue IN their ear. that tastes nasty.

      -the overall kiss. just do something, wait for them to do something, and play off that, etc.. that's pretty much what frenching is.


      Braces

      -Braces are nothing to worry about. the only way you would have to worry if they had ancient braces. or it were common practice to hit your partner's teeth. just relax, its the same as kissing/kissing someone without braces.

      -if both of you have braces you will NOT get stuck unless your teeth are grinding. and even then it would be near impossible to lock them. which if you are grinding teeth then you (both) need some serious help with kissing.


      Experimental

      -Okay, here's the fun stuff. you can do if the kiss gets a little boring, or if you wanna try something new and exciting.. try warning your partner first tho or you might freak them out.

      -get them to open their mouth, then you suck all the air from them. it feels pretty weird, yet good.

      -the tongue sucking kinda goes here, but it also belongs under basic stuff, since some ppl do it more often, i dunno.

      -not really a kiss type thing, but more of a saliva test. see its like a reflex to wipe off saliva. so you can like, lick yer partner's nose, or chin, or cheek. and they'll instinctively wipe it off.

      -drawing and writing! Try drawing little things on your partner's tongue, it feels pretty good!


      NOTE: you'll prolly forget everything i said above in the heat of the moment, haha but it's nice to know. Just relax and have fun with it!
      "I cant see what's next, from this lonely overpass, hang my head and count my steps as another car rolls past." - Pearl Jam "Thumbing my way"

      Comment


      • #4
        and dont stick your tongue IN their ear.
        that is DISGUSTING. i was telling a guy friend that my ex boyfriend did that and he was like 'he watches a lot of porn doesn't he, and thinks it's helpful to his sex life, doesn't he?'


        haha. but yes, i do not like slobber in my ear. my favorite thing when kissing is when someone kind of nibbles or sucks on either your upper or lower lip, kind of softly suctioning. that makes me melt. (i got a kiss like that the other night... )
        ice cream and cookies and cake, oh my.

        paperstar.org

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        • #5
          My shit is being recycled over...and over...and over.

          Yeah...that's right, gimme credit next though SSA.

          Just kidding...woh gives a fuck. I was going to post it just now...but, lol, I guess you beat me to it... ops:
          5/4/02- First Kiss

          I'm still around! Did you miss me? (k)

          Grade A Feminist- proud to say it!
          Is my post grumpy? I probably have a lot of papers to grade!

          Comment


          • #6
            thanx sooooooo much for this page...i sent it to my lil sis cuz she asked about it and this explained everything for her hehe
            WeLl BeHaVeD wOmEn RaReLy MaKe HiStOrY
            -Beautiful disaster
            flyin' down the street again
            I tried to keep up
            you wore me out and left me ate up
            now I wish you all the luck
            you're a butterfly in the wind without a care
            a pretty train crash to me and I can't care
            I do I don't whatever

            Comment


            • #7
              "it feels like a giant eel is raping your mouth!"



              HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

              my suggestion is... go for it. be a fearless kisser. life is too short to turn down a kiss. maybe that just means i'm a slut. oh well.
              INVADER NATALIE!
              i love invader zim
              check me out
              http://natchick0.tripod.com website (antimartha.com)
              http://www.deadjournal.com/users/nazzalee journal

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              • #8
                I was dating a girl a few months ago, who told me she didnt' want to french. We were at a dance, and kissing. I turned away and she looked me in the eyes and said "kiss me again". I tried to french her and got slapped. God it hurt. My guide for kissing is make sure the girl you're doing it with wants to or the consequences will be dire.

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                • #9
                  A Beginner's Guide To Kissing

                  I found this on another forum, posted by a very old member of our very own RFs (back in the AA days). And, well, I figured that this place could really use it!

                  Step 1: Moving In
                  The first step to a kiss is "moving in." This begins as eye contact with your partner while your faces are in close proximity. When the eye contact is intense and does not break, you know a kiss is going to happen. Next, one or both partners will lean their face towards the other person's face. Keep your eyes open and maintain eye contact while "moving in." This will prevent you from missing or having a collision. When your faces are almost close enough to touch, tilt your head a little to the side. If you both go in for the kiss straight-on, your noses will bump; with tilted heads, your noses will just rub or not touch at all. As a general rule, tilt your head to the right. This seems to be most natural, so hopefully your partner will also tilt their head to their right so you are tilting in opposite directions and won't bump noses. As you tilt your head, slowly close your eyes, and part your lips. It is important to close your eyes; keeping them open will probably weird out your partner. When parting your lips don't open your mouth wide, just part them, as if you were going to take a drink from a cup. You are now about to achieve lip contact.

                  Step 2: Lip Contact
                  When your lips touch, the position should be one whereby your upper lip is nuzzled between your partner's lips and your lower lip is just below their lower lip. So, in effect, you have their lower lip between yours and they have your upper lip between theirs.

                  Step 3: Moving Your Lips
                  There are many ways to move your lips while kissing. As you become more experienced, you will try different techniques and learn new ones both on your own and from your kissing partners. I am going to describe the very basic make-out technique.

                  The motion of kissing is much like giving someone a peck on the cheek. You press your lips on their skin, then pucker your lips, then release...which usually creates a quick suction noise. When making out you are basically giving your partner a series of pecks on the lips, but drawing each one out to last longer. You also do not kiss them and pull away, then kiss them and pull away...you maintain lip contact between and during each drawn out peck.

                  Add Some Variety
                  Here are some simple ways to add variety to your kisses:
                  Don't kiss just their lower lip the whole time. Switch from top to bottom and try tilting your head a little more so you are kissing the corner area of their mouth.


                  Stop the kissing motion briefly to slowly swipe your lips across theirs from corner to corner, horizontally.


                  If you want to kiss their neck don't just stop kissing their lips and move your head to kiss their neck...make a trail of quick pecks up their jawbone from their lips to their ear then down the side of their neck. Or, you can make a trail of kisses down over and under their chin to their neck. As you kiss under their chin your partner's head should tilt back to allow easier access to their neck. FYI: tilt your head back some when your partner is trying to kiss your neck!


                  Practice Makes Perfect
                  You don't need a kissing partner to get started on practicing. Here is one way to turn your hand into the perfect kissing practice tool:
                  Make a fist and face your palm towards you. Now raise two fingers in the "peace" sign (your index and middle finger). Instead of spreading your fingers in a "V", keep them together, but slightly parted when neccessary. Now tilt your hand to the side and you have a set of makeshift lips. Pretend the top finger is your partner's upper lip and the bottom finger is their lower lip.


                  Don't know what to do with your hands? Here are some tips

                  For the best kissing results, don't leave your hands lying limp on your lap. Below are some ways to use your hands to make kissing more sensual:


                  • Don't get too touchy-feely too soon
                  • Run your fingers through his or her hair
                  • Lightly massage your partner's scalp with your fingers
                  • Cup his or her face in your hands
                  • Place your hand on her cheek and glide it back into her hair, maybe to the back of her head so you can grasp her and pull her towards you
                  • Caress your lover's back, arms, neck, shoulders, cheeks
                  • Hold hands
                  • Caress their face with the back of your fingers
                  • Hold her close to your body by placing your hand on the small of her back
                  • Caress the small of your lover's back
                  • Twirl the ends of her hair around your fingers


                  Try many of these ideas, don't just pick one and stick with it for the entire kiss!



                  Dont want to just kiss your lover's lips? Here are some other kissable spots.



                  • Small of their back
                  • Behind their ear
                  • Underside of their forearm
                  • Curve of their waist
                  • Palm of their hand
                  • Under their chin
                  • Their eyelids
                  • inside of their ankle
                  • Their collar bone
                  • Tips of their fingers
                  • Their spine
                  • Their stomach
                  • Behind their knees
                  • Tip of their nose
                  • Back of their neck
                  A time of darkness
                  You will look absurd and you will feel inert
                  And you will go looking to blame somebody

                  You see, I used to think that I'd get over everything,
                  But everything just got over me.


                  - Matthew Good Band, The Fine Art of Falling Apart

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    So you really did post this here.
                    我一定不會放開妳 因為是妳讓我相信愛 所以我終於明白了 這是愛

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                    • #11
                      Very good.

                      I'm going to dig up my old master post...heh
                      5/4/02- First Kiss

                      I'm still around! Did you miss me? (k)

                      Grade A Feminist- proud to say it!
                      Is my post grumpy? I probably have a lot of papers to grade!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Yes, let us all kissing experts find our old articles again.
                        我一定不會放開妳 因為是妳讓我相信愛 所以我終於明白了 這是愛

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          When all else fails, you can practice on Chiu's mom
                          "When I was going up the stairs
                          I met a man who wasn't there
                          He wasn't there again today
                          I wish, I wish he'd go away"

                          "No one of intelligence resents the inevitable..."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            =.=


                            Fuck you.


                            Hahahahaha :P
                            我一定不會放開妳 因為是妳讓我相信愛 所以我終於明白了 這是愛

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hey man i'm just trying to help out the people.

                              Remember ShotBlocker34 is all about helping the kids!!!
                              "When I was going up the stairs
                              I met a man who wasn't there
                              He wasn't there again today
                              I wish, I wish he'd go away"

                              "No one of intelligence resents the inevitable..."

                              Comment

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