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Glued to my Phone - NOT!

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  • Glued to my Phone - NOT!

    Over the weekend, I had a disagreement with my SO (who I have been dating since last year), about my "lack of responsiveness to his texts and phone calls" as he says. I'm one of those people who doesn't drop what I'm doing to answer the phone out of respect for whoever I happen to be visiting with, or if I'm just too busy or occupied (nappng, bathing, watching a movie, etc.) to answer. or look at my phone, which I have told him, and also practice when I'm with him. However, I do respond as soon as I am available. This happened on Saturday afternoon. I told him earlier in the day that I would be visiting friends who live about an hour away from our town. Long story short, later that day he texted first then called me about 30 minutes later, but I was still visiting and having fun, and my phone was in the bottom of my purse. By the time I saw that he had called and texted, it was hours later. One of the problems I have is that he never leaves a voicemail, he'll just hang up and shows as a missed call. I've asked him to leave a voicemail if it's urgent and I will definitely get right back to him. He still refuses to do so, and says he has "some concerns" about my delays in responding to his calls or texts.

    Were both over 50, so not like the younger people who are glued to their phones these days. Am I being too nonchalant in my attitude/ about the priority responding to the phone?

  • #2
    It's not a forum you should be talking to about this. It's him. I can see where he is coming from. You are showing a great lack of interest in your relationship and more interest in your friends and having fun. He is frustrated. He doesn't have to leave a voicemail. Not many people feel comfortable doing that. You need to set some time to spend together and talk about it.

    If i remember rightly your very first post was about your relationship.
    I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Dazed & Confused View Post
      It's not a forum you should be talking to about this. It's him. I can see where he is coming from. You are showing a great lack of interest in your relationship and more interest in your friends and having fun. He is frustrated. He doesn't have to leave a voicemail. Not many people feel comfortable doing that. You need to set some time to spend together and talk about it.

      If i remember rightly your very first post was about your relationship.
      Not sure what her previous posts are!
      But based on this alone I think he is disrespectful of their time apart.
      Why would he text and call her when he knows she is an hour away and catching up with friends?

      I dont think her not instantly replying while out with friends and he knows it equates to her lacking interest?

      I do question why a 50+ yr old female creates a user name ImUrGRL. ????

      Comment


      • #4
        Her first wasn't about this guy. She was largely complaining about her mother, then her other post is all about her friends relationship. I feel she is too wrapped up in her friends business rather than concentrating on her own troubled relationship.

        Post 2: https://www.relationship-forums.com/...o-to-moving-in

        Post 1 - https://www.relationship-forums.com/...-inappropriate
        Last edited by Dazed & Confused; March 1st, 2019, 05:28 AM.
        I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Maggiemay4791 View Post
          Why would he text and call her when he knows she is an hour away and catching up with friends?

          I dont think her not instantly replying while out with friends and he knows it equates to her lacking interest?
          I agree with this. If he knows that she's out with friends then he shouldn't be expecting to be able to chat with her.

          However, I think you should probably answer if somebody calls you. People tend to call when it's important rather than just text.



          Originally posted by Maggiemay4791 View Post
          I do question why a 50+ yr old female creates a user name ImUrGRL. ????
          I thought this was odd also!
          Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Maggiemay4791 View Post



            I do question why a 50+ yr old female creates a user name ImUrGRL. ????
            Why can't I pick the name I want? One of my favorite artists is Paula Abdul (we are the same age), and the day I joined this forum, I happened to be listening to the radio trying to come up with a catchy name I could remember, and heard her song Forever Your Girl. What should my name be OldMAID - lol!?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Dazed & Confused View Post
              Her first wasn't about this guy. She was largely complaining about her mother, then her other post is all about her friends relationship. I feel she is too wrapped up in her friends business rather than concentrating on her own troubled relationship.

              Post 2: https://www.relationship-forums.com/...o-to-moving-in

              Post 1 - https://www.relationship-forums.com/...-inappropriate
              The moving in post is not about my relationship. Its about one of the friends I visited over the weekend when I wasn't answering my phone - lol!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by whatshappeningreg View Post

                I agree with this. If he knows that she's out with friends then he shouldn't be expecting to be able to chat with her.

                However, I think you should probably answer if somebody calls you. People tend to call when it's important rather than just text.





                I thought this was odd also!
                I was at an "all ladies" birthday dinner/party, which he knew about. I'm not "on call" or a 911 paramedic, so why should I answer my phone if I've told him where I am? No matter what the emergency was, I can't do much when I'm hour away. If it was urgent, he would have left a message to call ASAP, which is what I've repeatedly asked him to do. Just so you know, I'm the same way with others calling me as well. I believe in being present and respecting the people I'm with, vs. someone calling on the phone - unless I'm expecting their call, which I was not in this situation.

                Comment


                • #9
                  What exactly does he want when he's constant calling you? You need to talk to him about it because he's showing a lack of trust.
                  I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Dazed & Confused View Post
                    What exactly does he want when he's constant calling you? You need to talk to him about it because he's showing a lack of trust.
                    Though you are harsh sometimes I actually agree with you in this situation. I wanted to see if anyone else thought it might be a trust issue, which I really think it is. I'm the type of woman who doesn't need to sneak around or avoid someone to cheat. If I no longer want to be with someone, I make sure they are the first to know it, and even tell them that. Mainly because - " I'm not married to them", and have the right to walk away at any time.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by ImUrGRL View Post

                      Though you are harsh sometimes I actually agree with you in this situation. I wanted to see if anyone else thought it might be a trust issue, which I really think it is. I'm the type of woman who doesn't need to sneak around or avoid someone to cheat. If I no longer want to be with someone, I make sure they are the first to know it, and even tell them that. Mainly because - " I'm not married to them", and have the right to walk away at any time.
                      I apologise if I seem harsh. That's just how I get sometimes lol I don't mean any offence at all. It does sound like a trust issue so I think you both should shit down and talk it out. Has he had anyone be unfaithful to him in the past?
                      I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Dazed & Confused View Post

                        I apologise if I seem harsh. That's just how I get sometimes lol I don't mean any offence at all. It does sound like a trust issue so I think you both should shit down and talk it out. Has he had anyone be unfaithful to him in the past?
                        No apology needed if offense is not intended. I appreciate your frankness.

                        Yes, his ex cheated on him with one of his friends, who he was turning to for advice on how to stay together with her. Another was bi-sexual and was sleeping with some of her female friends, and even made a pass at one of his sisters. I've already let him know I am not into women, no matter how many of them I'm around.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          If he's over 50, he shouldn't be needing to talk to you when he knows you're out of town visiting friends. And he certainly shouldn't be angry when you don't get back to him immediately. That's teenage behavior, and to me it's a red flag denoting huge insecurities.
                          "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by SarahLancaster View Post
                            If he's over 50, he shouldn't be needing to talk to you when he knows you're out of town visiting friends. And he certainly shouldn't be angry when you don't get back to him immediately. That's teenage behavior, and to me it's a red flag denoting huge insecurities.
                            I totally agree, since he's 4 years older than me. I'm planning to speak with him about it this weekend. FOR THE LAST TIME!!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Would you explain please the context of him saying he has 'concerns'?
                              It sounds like he's talking about a plugged drain or tax deductions. Is he the worrying type?
                              If so try and decide whether you find it flattering/endearing or encumbering. You're in that awkward period where one person may be exhibiting more tendencies for romance and attachment than the other. Be careful how you handle this as it could damage the relationship in the long term (meaning you might find it hard to reverse the damage if you tell him to bugger off now).

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