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Dating causing me anxiety

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  • Dating causing me anxiety

    There are 2 guys who have caused me a great deal of stress and anxiety. One keeps posting pictures of his dates on social media and another plays the cat and mouse game which he also does to other women. Most men do not treat me like this.

    I am getting a great deal of stress and anxiety over this. What is the best way to move on from these emotional vampires? I don't know if I should make a list of all their bad qualities to remind myself. Should I avoid goint to places they will be at to cut them out of my life? Where can I meet decent emotionally available men? I want to feel well again and not tense.

  • #2
    Don't make a list. Stop stalking them. Block them both on every form of social media and block their numbers if you have them. If it stresses you so much why do you stalk their social media?
    I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!

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    • #3
      Why do you care what these men are up to???
      Remove them from your social media and problem solved!

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      • #4
        Angel29 Since they're not your boyfriends, they shouldn't dictate your thoughts nor preferences regarding venue should your paths cross. If you wish to be at a certain mutual location, then attend and if you're truly uncomfortable, then avoid where they will be. If you happen to be at the same location, ignore them and enjoy being with your friends.

        Where can you meet decent emotionally available men? Think about it. Clue: They're not out partying all night nor frequent singles bars. Emotionally available men generally hail from stable, loving, nurturing, normal, secure, solid families, raised with empathy and values. They're at church, college (subset groups), serious with their careers as opposed to floundering in life and they too want to be with like women. Birds of a feather flock together. If you're sick 'n tired of being with a bunch of broken losers, go where the winners are. Rise above your station in life because this is where you will find them. They're not out of your league if you can ascend to their status and become a membership of their "club."

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        • #5
          Work on your self esteem you are your only concern. Dont worry about others and compare it's not healthy especially in this social media age

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          • #6
            There's a general understanding that we cannot control the actions or thoughts of others but we can control ourselves.
            The reasoning behind this is both pragmatic and philosophical. 1) how can we control the actions/thoughts of others and 2) why would we (is there reason enough to measured against the cost to our own mental or physical wellbeing and the wellbeing of others/is it harmful to anyone else)

            Often this points to the individual him/herself as the only proponent for change in a troubling situation.
            Your situation seems superficial on the outset but harmful or unhealthy associations do start to change people over time. Try and self-realize what makes you happy and embody that, find outlets and associations that match what you embody and what you believe in. Changing our mindset and our lifestyle is not easy if we are on a habitual path we've been on for years.

            If you normally aren't used to this type of behaviour (from men or anyone) start asking yourself why or what led you down this road or deviated you from your normal patterns or behaviour to start with. Start facing those negative forks in the road and revise them, straighten it out and find closure. Closure generally means cleansing one's self, forgiveness and letting go. I think you should be at peace and be free.
            Last edited by Rose Mosse; February 26th, 2019, 11:22 AM.

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