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  • Figure this new girl out

    I went on 2 dates last weekend with a girl. After the first date she texted me back and said she thought we were moving too fast. Then decided to eat lunch in 2 days. Lunch was great. She then asked if I wanted to meet her friends the next weekend. Then the next day said we need to get a photo together. So a few days go by now she texted me that she sees us as more friends then bf/gf but I am still welcome to meet her friends this weekend. Does it sound like she is for sure settled on if she wants to date or not date?

  • #2
    I'd take it at face value and don't read into it more than what it actually says. She is not interested in pursuing a relationship (any romantic relationship) with you. This also translates to she does not want to date you.

    If she means something differently, stop seeing her. Bring your tolerance..or threshold for confusion down lower. Things will be clearer for you.

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    • #3
      Agree with Rose, doesn't sound like she's interested in you romantically.
      I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!

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      • #4
        So she still wants me to meet her friends satuday. Should I cancel that?

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        • #5
          unc2018h Since she told you that she thought both of you were moving too fast, it sounds like she wants to focus on friendship with you. You either go along with it to establish a good friendship base, remain patient or opt out by declining nicely and politely.

          Keep in mind, a lot of times men and women don't only date to get to the next step of their relationship. Many people either men or women, prefer to really get to know you better because it's safer going the friendship route. They're testing you out, observing how you are, how you treat others (such as her friends), reading your personality and character over time.

          One of my first observations is to determine if said person is well liked. If they're off putting, crack uncalled for (unkind) comments, have a raunchy, obnoxious sense of humor, don't exercise tact, inconsiderate, weird, strange, odd, peculiar, abnormal, ill-mannered, disrespectful or "off" in a red flag type of way, they're out. Women or a lot of people pay attention to these traits before they actually date and become girlfriend-boyfriend material. A lot of people don't want to risk diving into a relationship after dating because many times, they don't truly know who their partner is yet. It's risky to date and then plunge into a relationship without knowing whom you're getting involved with. A lot of people don't want to see warts later down the road. They're being more cautious and careful. Perhaps they've been hurt before and / or they're just taking it slow and smart. They're building trust with you and internally judging the quality of your character or lack thereof.

          This is what taking it slow means. It's a process and it's the conservative and more safer route to take.

          "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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          • #6
            OP: If you want company, go ahead. If you want a woman in the relationship sense, don't bother (this isn't my idea of an attractive woman anyway). Her words and actions don't add up to me. She could just as easily have walked the talk and not offered to introduce you to her friends if she does genuinely want to "take it slow" romantically. Generally people don't start introducing their new love interest to friends or family until there's anything worth going on about to reduce the amount of drama and nonsense.

            She could be very nervous and if you like her that much or think she's got something to her, you could give her the benefit of the doubt. If your idea of a fun time involves hanging out with new people you've never met under the premise of ...nothing, then I don't see why not. Some people are extroverted like that and enjoy those things. I'd rather be fishing on a boat.


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            • #7
              Okay, so today she says she would rather me go meet her friends another time, and then says she is busy sunday. The last text I got was I will get back with you. I'm assuming this means she either 1) Has another guy 2). one of her friends don;t like me or 3). Since monday she asked to connect on instagram. I have few photos on there. She commented about a old photo of me and my ex. I wonder if that bothered her. Does anyone think I should text back and ask?

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              • #8
                No, you shouldn't ask. Just step back from this girl because she's messing you around. She doesn't want you as a boyfriend, barely even as a friend, but she seems to want to keep you interested. You'd be wise to walk away from this one.
                Last edited by Dazed & Confused; February 1st, 2019, 03:35 PM.
                I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!

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                • #9
                  If you really are putting yourself out there dating, I'd delete any photos of your ex and yourself. It's generally bad form having them floating around especially on your own social media account which you have every power to control(and remove). I wouldn't assume anything about what her motives are. Your chemistry, OP, is seriously off with this girl. It sounds more like morse code or a flickering/dying lightbulb than a spark.

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                  • #10
                    Im not an expert, I base my knowledge on books, but it seems like shes interested for me.
                    Free ebook :The Secret To Building Forward Momentum In Your Romantic Relationship: https://bit.ly/2M305k0

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by DailyProgres View Post
                      Im not an expert, I base my knowledge on books, but it seems like shes interested for me.
                      Try getting some knowledge from real life. She is not interested.
                      I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!

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                      • #12
                        I did delete that photo, I want to ask if that what bothered her seeing how she commented. I totally forgot it was even still on there.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by unc2018h View Post
                          I did delete that photo, I want to ask if that what bothered her seeing how she commented. I totally forgot it was even still on there.
                          IF that bothered her then itís a red flag.

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                          • #14
                            I'm not saying it did I am saying she asked if that was my ex.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by unc2018h View Post
                              I'm not saying it did I am saying she asked if that was my ex.
                              Itís none of her business.

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