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Should my autistic brother date women who are also autistic or no?

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  • Should my autistic brother date women who are also autistic or no?

    Should my autistic brother date women who are also autistic or no?
    He feels very lonely and insecure as to why women keep rejecting him because of his condition most likely. He is 29, but he seems to have the IQ of someone around 9 or 10 maybe, but at the same time, is advanced in the sense that he is very romantically lonely and desires a romantic relationship.

    So I wonder if maybe he should be looking for someone of a similar IQ, but I am told by some others that that's a terrible idea, and it would be an incompetent relationship as a result... and therefore he should date a women with a higher IQ that could take care of a lot of potential problems that would arise.

    But after years of trying, he hasn't been able to find one woman of a normal IQ that is interested in him. What do you think?

  • #2
    I think that this is your brother's business and you should probably not get involved.
    If he is unable to make a relationship happen on his own, then that probably means he shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with.

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    • #3
      Hello AGAIN Harmonica. I agree with Ayla. Stay out of his business. You seem to have a habit of wanting to get involved in everyone's business don't you, then to come post about it here.
      I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!

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      • #4
        Harmonica, are you on the spectrum too?

        You donít seem to be able to hold down a relationship and donít take advice on board regarding them either.

        I dont think you are in a position to care about your brothers relationships or lack of until you are able to address your own.
        With all due respect!

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        • #5
          Yeah I'm on the spectrum. What's wrong with my relationship problems exactly?

          As for staying out of his business, he keeps asking me and others, to help him though with this problem, so should I stay out of it, if he keeps asking me and others to help?

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          • #6
            Yep.
            I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!

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            • #7
              But he keeps asking me to help him with it over the years, so what should I do then?

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              • #8
                Help him what exactly? To find a woman?
                I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!

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                • #9
                  Yes he keeps asking to help him find women. I was staying out of it before, but he keeps asking when I do.
                  Last edited by harmonica; January 14th, 2019, 02:05 PM.

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                  • #10
                    You can help him learn how to approach a woman and how to be comfortable talking to a woman about himself.
                    I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!

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                    • #11
                      Okay thanks. However, should maybe I help him try to pursue women who are autistic as well though?

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                      • #12
                        The woman doesn't have to be autistic too. I've known couples where one is autistic and the other isn't. They all human beings. I think you should let him pursue someone he's interested in on his own. There's no harm in teaching him how to be confident.
                        I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!

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                        • #13
                          Okay thanks, but he seems to want my help more than pursuing on his own. Like he actually wants me to help him find potential interests, like online, etc. So I thought maybe one of those dating sites for people with autism, but they don't have as many members either.

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                          • #14
                            Again, let him pursue these things on his own. You cant hold his hand through everything, but you can help him boost his confidence and independence. He can do it.
                            I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by harmonica View Post
                              Okay thanks, but he seems to want my help more than pursuing on his own. Like he actually wants me to help him find potential interests, like online, etc. So I thought maybe one of those dating sites for people with autism, but they don't have as many members either.
                              Like I said before, if he can't do that for himself, then he's in no place to be dating anyway.
                              Tell him that next time he asks you for help. And if he keeps asking, keep responding the same way.

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