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  • How to hook up?

    I'm a 19 year old freshman guy in college and i'm just a little frustrated by my bad luck hooking up.
    How do most people go about hooking up?
    I'm not awkward or shy and i enjoy partying every weekend, but I just don't know how to hook up like all my friends do and I honestly don't know why. I talk to people but it seems i just befriend everyone instead of actually taking it anywhere further.
    Haven't done anything more than making out with girls. Any advice?

  • #2
    Do you respond a lot when girls text you? Overdo it less, save some mystery about yourself, don't respond all the time to the same person. Ask the girl to come over and watch a movie. That's pretty standard language synonymous with meaningless sex at any age. Don't sleep with friends of friends and stay out of your friends circle.

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    • #3
      dcd189 Build your own self-confidence if you want to attract girls and have them drawn to you instead of acting desperate. Be your own person, concentrate on yourself and go places in life. There is nothing more attractive than self-confidence and the rest will follow; not necessarily on your timeline but eventually girls will take notice as you're on the fast track in life.

      Become independent minded and you won't be perceived as needy.

      Also, don't always remain with the same friends. It's a great big world out there and broaden your social life so you can be introduced to new people. Being with the same crowd limits you.
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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      • #4
        Show you care. Doing that will make you very attracted to them.
        Last edited by JohnSG77; January 14th, 2019, 05:38 AM.

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        • #5
          chanelle yeah true but its just odd because l know I do have the confidence and independence. I took a gap year after high school to solo travel and discovered a lot about being independent and being confident. I feel like I've tried not really caring about any of this (like all of high school) and starting to care more but either way it just doesn't seem to work out.
          I know this isn't something to really get too worked up over, so i guess i'll just try to not worry about it too much and just let whatever happen.

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          • #6
            dcd189 With all due respect, you're only 19 years old and you have your whole life ahead of you. Please be patient. There is a woman out there for you and it may not be your timing or timeline. It will happen.

            In the meantime, get serious with your education and career. Believe me, once you get your act together, you will turn heads. Women will take notice without any effort on your part because everyone loves a winner.

            My mother had this old country saying. She said, "While everyone is fooling around now, later on, the cream rises to the top." She grew up on a farm and after a cow is milked, the cream rises to the top in the bucket or jar. What she was trying to say was people have fun now and waste their time while those who are serious and diligently working at bettering their lives, will be the true stars when their day comes. This will be you if you play your cards right.

            I remember my 10 year HS reunion. All the party people in their youth went nowhere in life, currently hold lackluster, dead end jobs and didn't fare well compared to the nerds who now own successful businesses, drive luxury cars, live in expensive homes, have fat bank accounts and enjoying the high life. Note the ones who sloshed in the milk (had fun back in the day) ended up with a disappointing life. The nerds are the ones who became the cream who floated to the top of society. My mother was right as usual.

            Work hard now and waltz into the party later after you've made it.

            I've since observed this very scenario. I knew a guy who was a nerd or a geek, unpopular in HS, shy, bashful and in everyone's shadow. After everyone graduated from HS, he went onto college, graduated at the top of his class, became successful with a very high paying job and when he joined the after party (after the reunion another food party was hosted at a friend's parent's house), as this former nerdy geek re-introduced himself, suddenly he was SURROUNDED by ladies whereas in the past, they never gave him the time of day. He was totally ignored when he was a teenager and absolutely invisible. It was an ugly duckling story who blossomed into a swan. Everyone took notice. It was a heartwarming scene. This could be you one day.

            I knew so many people who had great beginnings during childhood and teen years. Then their lives became train wrecks during adulthood. Those were awful outcomes. Then I knew others who had terrible beginnings during childhood and teen years. However, they worked hard and later became successful which is better than having good beginnings and miserable adulthood.

            Change the way you think and navigate your life shrewdly and prudently. Attracting others to you will happen automatically. Your day in the sun will come.

            "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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            • #7
              @chanelle ok, thank you, I appreciate your advice!

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              • #8
                Originally posted by dcd189 View Post
                I'm a 19 year old freshman guy in college and i'm just a little frustrated by my bad luck hooking up.
                How do most people go about hooking up?
                I'm not awkward or shy and i enjoy partying every weekend, but I just don't know how to hook up like all my friends do and I honestly don't know why. I talk to people but it seems i just befriend everyone instead of actually taking it anywhere further.
                Haven't done anything more than making out with girls. Any advice?
                Are you looking for sex or a relationship?
                Be upfront and honest with girls and they will respond accordingly.

                Comment

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