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Honeymoon Phase is over, no Im scared

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  • Honeymoon Phase is over, no Im scared

    Good Morning,

    I am an 18 year old collge student, and I go to same university as my 6-month-ish girlfriend whom I love deeply. What's wrong is that I realize that our "Honeymoon Phase" is over, which I believe is the phase in which have the most fun and love, but now we know and trust each other 100% that our relationship is now "normal". I'm asking on advise on how to make the relationship like before, because to me, it does not feel like it. I love her and she loves me (so she says) and I don't want the relationship to end, I'm scared that suddenly she will decide to dump me without no reason. Are those problems only in my head? Is it me? Because the thing is that she has been so fed up with homework these past weeks that we haven't had the time for each other, and I gave her all time and space and even help. She even thanked me for it, but my anxiety and overthinking have led me to believe that she doesn't love me anymore. Can I please get some advise and comfort in the matter on how to *know* that the relationship won't end. Maybe the fact that winter vacation is coming and then we will have time for each other.

    Thank you very much for any kind of help

  • #2
    What specifically has changed lately in your relationship?
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


    • #3
      I feel like shes not texting me the same way nor with the same love as before


      • #4
        tucson007 Relationships whether boyfriend-girlfriend or marriages aren't in the constant, endless honeymoon phase forever. For many people, life is stressful and very busy. Your girlfriend is overwhelmed and swamped with studying, homework, upcoming final exams, college projects, etc. Don't whine about her not texting you. She's very busy and texting requires maintenance and time. You need to back off, be patient and realize that when her life eases up some and has relief, then she can devote more time and energy for you. This is life whether you're married or not. You need to yield because this is what love and respect means. You're the who has to be selfless whenever it is called for. It's part of your growing up and maturing in how to sustain a successful relationship. Follow her cue. If she has time to text and / or be with you, great, go with the flow. When you sense she needs to make the grade for her university, back off and let her do it. You need to be supportive and the way to do this is to not get in the way of her purpose which is to graduate one day. For other people, it could be work, travel, financial or family commitments. There are so many reasons why people are pulled in so many directions. Think logically and put yourself in her shoes. Have empathy. This is how your relationship with her will endure.
        "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."


        • #5
          Dude, it's all in your head. You need to chill. She gets stressed with college stuff, who doesn't. Sounds like your relationship is perfectly fine, but if you carry on with a these stupid things in your head you will end up pushing her away. It's annoying. Enjoy what you have.
          I say it as I see it. Don't take it personally!


          • #6
            It's difficult to not feel anxious at that age. Just roll with it and see where this goes over the winter break and the next six months. If you're applying to different universities or moving away for school, you're probably right to be worried. Things can go either way. I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you. There are going to be big changes in the next 10 years, not just the next year! The best that you can do is strap yourself in and enjoy the ride. Enjoy each moment together and stop nitpicking on nitty gritty small issues. Think bigger.


            • #7
              If you truly love each other work and being busy and all that does not matter. You will always find a way. Although you say you love and trust each other 100% you definitely are having some insecurity problems in the relationship. Not saying you're insecure, it's just she is not doing a well job of securing you. A good partner doesn't let you just wither away into your own thoughts and anxieties about your relationship WITH THEM. They should always reassure you from those thoughts. Another thing is if you are so scared about the relationship ending that also seems to be a problem within yourself. If you get so co-dependent on someone... it usually does not end well for either parts. I think you need to learn a little more self love before you give all your love to someone else <3