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  • #1

    Feeling confused

    So, here is my story. I met a guy a couple of months ago and we have been getting on really well. We were only friends to start with, then he started flirting with me a lot, and we got really close (but not intimate). We know each other from living in the same area, and have mutual friends. Finally, last week, he told me he liked me and I told him the same and we slept together. Ever since we slept together, he has totally gone off the radar. I've heard nothing from him, he hasn't tried to talk to me or see me for about 5 days. Before this, we spoke at least every other day, but most days on the whole. And generally had so much fun and enjoyed being with each other. I'm not pushy or nagging, I haven't messaged him or chased him or anything. I'm so confused as to why he has suddenly gone off grid. He sent me a brief message saying his phone is broken. Part of me understands that his phone could actually be broken, but the other part of me thinks 'he knows where I live, we have mutual friends, he could message me on a computer from Facebook and if he really wanted to see me again, he would. What do you think I should do? Any reasons why you think he may have gone off grid given the situation? Or am I overthinking it? I really like him so its kinda hurtful that this is happening
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  • #2
    This is a common occurrence. If only women would understand the biological differences between themselves and men.

    He enjoyed the chase and charmed you into his bed. After the conquest he lost interest and is probably now on to his next naive female that he can bed. You were looking for a relationship with someone you barely knew and jumped into a sexual relationship with. Next time, get to know someone first.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      Hi SarahLancaster, thank you for your reply. The thing is, we actually did spend a heck of lot of time getting to know each other over a couple of months, and hanging out and flirting before anything sexual happened. It wasn't just something that randomly happened over a few days, and this is why I am confused. Anyway, I guess the point I am at is more about what should I do now, is it worth asking him what happened or should I just delete/block him and move on.

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      • #4
        The broken phone thing is a lame excuse. I don't think you should ask him what happened. You would only be forcing him to tell a white lie. If he had been really into you, he would be communicating with you every day. Clearly, that isn't the case.

        You don't have to block him necessarily. Just don't make any more attempts at contacting him and see what happens.
        "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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        • #5
          Louise101 For some men, the forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter. I hate to say this but you were merely his conquest or another notch on his belt. He used you for sex and once he was done with you, he discarded you like yesterday's trash. Some men use women for only sex and then they abandon you. They think you're cheap and a tramp. Not that you are but one of these days you'll realize you were naive. Welcome to the world of worldly types. I'm sorry this happened to you though. Live and learn. Consider yourself more expensive in the future and don't give yourself away. Get to know a man first, get to know his personality and character, develop a true, sincere friendship with him so you can trust him with all your soul and heart before sex. Remember that.
          "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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          • #6
            What did you say after he told you his phone was broken? Did you say "yea, no prob [smiley face]" or did you tell him to get his ass to your place for dinner and a movie? I'm not sure what to tell you, hon. Maybe you were a pillow princess and he's not into that. Maybe he was uninspired by your moves in bed or he just doesn't understand you or vice versa. I think it's too hasty to judge his character based on your version of events because I really can't tell what type of woman you are. You seem to give off the impression like you're shy or easygoing around him. That's not a good show. Being honest with you here. Stop being a doormat and start drawing the lines and directing your own show. Men, women, anyone, will walk all over you if you're too easy or if you don't seem like you're about anything in particular and don't stand for anything. There's a very real possibility he sincerely got bored with you.

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            • #7
              The guy I dated in high school once spent 2 hours on the train to leave a note in my mailbox telling me his phone had broken and he couldn't afford to get a new one, but he still loved me and would come over on the weekend to spend some time together. Then he took a 2 hour train ride back home.

              This is what people do when they actually care.
              The broken phone is indeed a lame excuse. He got you where he wanted you and now he's lost interest. Try to learn from this and let it go.
              You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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              • #8
                He got what he wanted from you. He's a total sleaze that used you. Forget him. He's not worth worrying about.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Louise101 View Post
                  So, here is my story. I met a guy a couple of months ago and we have been getting on really well. We were only friends to start with, then he started flirting with me a lot, and we got really close (but not intimate). We know each other from living in the same area, and have mutual friends. Finally, last week, he told me he liked me and I told him the same and we slept together. Ever since we slept together, he has totally gone off the radar. I've heard nothing from him, he hasn't tried to talk to me or see me for about 5 days. Before this, we spoke at least every other day, but most days on the whole. And generally had so much fun and enjoyed being with each other. I'm not pushy or nagging, I haven't messaged him or chased him or anything. I'm so confused as to why he has suddenly gone off grid. He sent me a brief message saying his phone is broken. Part of me understands that his phone could actually be broken, but the other part of me thinks 'he knows where I live, we have mutual friends, he could message me on a computer from Facebook and if he really wanted to see me again, he would. What do you think I should do? Any reasons why you think he may have gone off grid given the situation? Or am I overthinking it? I really like him so its kinda hurtful that this is happening
                  If he liked you he would have dated you.
                  All he had to say was he liked you after doing minimal ground work , to bed you. And sorry, but you slept with a guy who didn’t even care to date you. I don’t have much empathy for you.
                  You need to wisen up!

                  He messaged you to say his phone was broken! If he can message you to say that , he can message you to ask you out IF he was interested.

                  In future don’t fall for lame words. Date someone before you have sex , so at least you will be aware if he is genuinely interested or if you are a one off?

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