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Should I cut him off completely?

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  • Should I cut him off completely?

    The very first guy I fell in love with is keep on coming back. When we first broke up, we would see each other for sex. It was sorta like a friends with benefits kind of thing. Later I found out he was still seeing me even he was already in a serious relationship. When I found out about, I ended it up. He asked me back after he broke up with that girl but I didn't take him because the trust wasn't there anymore. I wasn't ready for a relationship too. He had a relationship after that girl and it ended again and he contacted me again after blocking each other for months. I still have feelings for him. He is kind of the love of my life but I never told him about it. I said I can only be friends. He asked me about friends with benefits again, and I said no but we ended up sleeping again.

    I am so tired of this kind of relationship but I don't know how can I move on from him. He told me today that he is not into friends with benefits because he doesn't want to sacrifice our friendship and emotional well being. Last night he asked me if I could see him. Why do he change his mind all the time? Please help me. This has been going on for a year. This is making my life miserable and I can no longer concentrate on my studies.

  • #2
    Block his number and take him off all social media. You do have a choice. You can re-orient yourself and focus on your studies or you can continue going down the tube. It's your choice. The love of anyone's life or the love deserving to be the love of anyone's life does NOT run around trying to hump women out of convenience and very little conscience. The problem is you and you already know that without me telling you. You don't value yourself enough and you're not being real with yourself enough. This isn't the love of your life. Get out of that obsessive mind frame and hopeless/woe is me mentality and move forward without this person.

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    • #3
      @LizG Yes cut him off completely. You've already explained yourself to him, so ghost and block him since he'll get the message then. Eventually your love for him will slip away when you realize that he's only using you for sex and he's a player with women on the side in addition to you and that's not called love. Don't be another notch on his belt. You're better than that. Respect is not part of his vocabulary. You need to dump him. He's no good and a bad apple.

      If he tries to contact you again, ignore him and move on with your own life. You deserve to be with a man who will treat you right and he does not.

      Be kind to yourself by becoming very picky and choosy from now on and never settle for crumbs.
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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      • #4
        Originally posted by _LizG View Post
        The very first guy I fell in love with is keep on coming back. When we first broke up, we would see each other for sex. It was sorta like a friends with benefits kind of thing. Later I found out he was still seeing me even he was already in a serious relationship. When I found out about, I ended it up. He asked me back after he broke up with that girl but I didn't take him because the trust wasn't there anymore. I wasn't ready for a relationship too. He had a relationship after that girl and it ended again and he contacted me again after blocking each other for months. I still have feelings for him. He is kind of the love of my life but I never told him about it. I said I can only be friends. He asked me about friends with benefits again, and I said no but we ended up sleeping again.

        I am so tired of this kind of relationship but I don't know how can I move on from him. He told me today that he is not into friends with benefits because he doesn't want to sacrifice our friendship and emotional well being. Last night he asked me if I could see him. Why do he change his mind all the time? Please help me. This has been going on for a year. This is making my life miserable and I can no longer concentrate on my studies.
        He keeps coming back for sex because YOU allow him to.
        So stop allowing him. Itís actually that simple!
        He canít contact you if you block him , so do that , because since you havenít blocked him , you respond to his words and not actions.
        Take control and stop spreading your legs for someone who doesnít care. Sorry, harsh but true!

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        • #5
          The love of your life shouldn't make you feel miserable. Therefore, he is not. You know what to do, like everyone said. Cut contact completely. Block him on everything so he has no way of getting in touch with you. Problem solved.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Dazed & Confused View Post
            The love of your life shouldn't make you feel miserable. Therefore, he is not. You know what to do, like everyone said. Cut contact completely. Block him on everything so he has no way of getting in touch with you. Problem solved.
            I don't know why I am still in love with him even after the things he did. He confessed that he was guilty of asking me to sleep with him even he was already over me. I am so stupid to have these feelings. I did block him on facebook last night. I didn't even tell him that I did. I know I am better off without him but I don't know part of me thinks he is my soulmate. Our relationship only lasted for 3 months, and we've broken up for a year now and I still have feelings for him. I have people liking me but I can't like them back. I am stuck with this asshole who always tells me he got my back but always just use me.
            Last edited by _LizG; December 5th, 2018, 03:10 PM.

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            • #7
              _LizG You're still stuck with him and "in love" with him because you are insecure. Once you develop self confidence and high self esteem, you will get your wake up call on day, realize logic and think within reason. Until then, you are infatuated with the concept of love but there is no love whenever there is lack of respect and empathy.

              And, he lies to you. He tells you that he has your back but uses you. Repeat those words in your brain until you comprehend that his actions don't match his words.
              "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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              • #8
                Originally posted by _LizG View Post

                I don't know why I am still in love with him even after the things he did. He confessed that he was guilty of asking me to sleep with him even he was already over me. I am so stupid to have these feelings. I did block him on facebook last night. I didn't even tell him that I did. I know I am better off without him but I don't know part of me thinks he is my soulmate. Our relationship only lasted for 3 months, and we've broken up for a year now and I still have feelings for him. I have people liking me but I can't like them back. I am stuck with this asshole who always tells me he got my back but always just use me.
                All the more reason to never talk to him again. Put him out of your life for good and wake up. He is NOT your soul mate. He has been screwing with your head for a long time making sure you're hooked on him enough that you will let drop your pants for him whenever he felt like it. You are playing right into his hands but not moving on with another man. The sooner you wake up to this the better for you.
                ​​​​​​

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