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His actions don't match his words. Is he interested or not?

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  • His actions don't match his words. Is he interested or not?

    I have known this guy for awhile now, and we started getting serious a few months ago. Things went great, and theh did start to move a little fast for us, but we were okay with it, and we went on to talk about the future and what we want in life, and he even asked me if he joinedthe military if I could handle it, and we even talked about marriageeven though it was way early but we are both adults and figured it was okay to talk about the future with us. We were hanging out the one day, and he asked me what my feeling were for him, and i told him, and explained that the love for him is there, and needless to say he did end up telling me he loved me. He then told me a few days later that he wasn't sure how its supposed to feel to love, but he thought he knew now. He did act very caring and genuine, and still does but now he has less contact with me, and even ignores me, but says he doesn't mean to intentionally. We did call it off in September because he finally opened up and told me he wasn't ready for anything serious because he is scared to know what will happen, and he has these problems due to the past relationship he was in, and she ended up leaving him and running off with his child and got married. I understood and gave him some space, and we went back to talking again and we eventually agreed to do a FWB relationship. Now this week he has gone completely ghost again, and i have not heard from him since monday morning, and its honestly starting to take a toll on me because i feel like im being drugged around with him, and at times i feel like all he wants is sex. So out of anger and frustration I blocked him, but the next day I got a friend request from a guy, and i went to view it and realized the profile was fake, but he added me and my sister. Im about 100% positive it was him. If it is why is he doing this if hes not wanting to pursue a relationship with me? He goes from a loving caring person too a cold shoulder person. His words just don't match his actions, and im not sure what to do anymore. Its starting to hurt me because I feel hes not the same person that I fell for anymore because hes changed. I watch how he reacts with me, and he always seems to brighten up when he sees me, and he jokes around alot and picks on me in a cute way, and he usually acts very shy around me at first, and when we hug its never a quick one its usually long with what feels like alot of emotion behind it. What do i do? Im very lost at this point so I need help!

  • #2
    YOU agreed to a FWB relationship and yet expect him to behave like a bf! Why?

    A FWB relationship is one where there are no expectations but can call each other for the benefits. And itís all civil.

    He didnt ghost you. He just simply wasnít looking for benefits or was getting it elsewhere. Thatís what you agreed to!
    You blocked him and he had no idea why and then tried to reconnect (albeit in a sneaky way)

    Do you actually want a fwb relationship with him or are you hoping it will lead to more? It wonít.
    He essentially dumped you but happy to continue a physical relationship with you.
    If that doesnít suit you then have the courtesy to say thanks but no thanks.

    You duped him, not the other way around.

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    • #3
      It sounds to me that what his ex did to him had a huge effect on him and when you started to get serious he couldn't handle it. He could be scared that it's going to happen again. Either way, he can't be treating you like this and if he is the one behind the fake fb account then that is just weird. He's not in a relationship with you yet feels the need to keep tabs .Who does that? Keep him blocked. Block that fb account and get on with your life. You don't need someone messing with your head like this.

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      • #4
        He's not in love with you, OP. There was a misunderstanding at the beginning. He may have said he felt love for you but he renegaded and went back on it to revise what he said. You're not taking his revision into account (or not accepting it/denial). Whatever you both shared must have been special for a time but it expired. Be realistic and put this behind you. He has put YOU behind him and you are only an option to him, not a commitment. This is why he's treating you the way he is. He's not in love with you and he's not interested in you the way you want him to be. Take care of yourself.

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        • #5
          I have an ex whoís like that too. We didnít talked about friends with benefit but just wasnít able to entirely leave each other. He didnít treat me like a girlfriend in the sense that he ďhidĒ me away but maintained an intimate relationship with me. Everyone around me advised me not to continue with this guy. Now, I realised everyone was right. He was just using me when he couldnít find anyone else for himself. Itís damn difficult to get over someone but when the time comes and you see the true colours of that person, I Guess you should.. he just wants to get your attention and when he has it, he takes it for granted and the cycle continues. Itís not love, itís lust.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Emistegial View Post
            I have an ex whoís like that too. We didnít talked about friends with benefit but just wasnít able to entirely leave each other. He didnít treat me like a girlfriend in the sense that he ďhidĒ me away but maintained an intimate relationship with me. Everyone around me advised me not to continue with this guy. Now, I realised everyone was right. He was just using me when he couldnít find anyone else for himself. Itís damn difficult to get over someone but when the time comes and you see the true colours of that person, I Guess you should.. he just wants to get your attention and when he has it, he takes it for granted and the cycle continues. Itís not love, itís lust.
            Itís neither love nor lust.
            Someone lusting after someone simply mistakes lust for love. They donít ďhideĒ you.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Maggiemay4791 View Post

              Itís neither love nor lust.
              Someone lusting after someone simply mistakes lust for love. They donít ďhideĒ you.
              Hmm.. yea I might be wrong and I dont really understand relationships entirely yet. For my case, he met me as and when he was bored. Whenever he has heís friends around he ignores me.

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