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  • My fiancť

    Iíve been with my fiancť for nearly 7 months and I love her to death. The problem is that she hates that I communicate with my ex wife about our 2 kids. My ex and I are barely cordial at best and she has had a boyfriend of 4 years so itís not like Iíd have a chance not that I would want one anyway since I divorced her. My fiancť loses her shit anytime I speak to her and has asked me to block my ex which then prevents me from communicating efficiently with her about our kids. My fiancť has a very bad temper and I know this but tonight she has said once again that I lie to her which I donít do. I did block my ex then realized it was nearly impossible to talk effectively via emails. Iím stuck between my fiancť (I think she is still at this moment) and my ex who is merely the mother of our 2 kids. I donít even know what to think or do now.... looking for some advice

  • #2
    Brokenman140 I advise you to put your engagement on indefinite hold and not marry your fiance until you get your fiance's jealousy issues resolved first because this problem will not go away. In fact, this problem will escalate and grow worse after you two are married. Your fiance needs to mature, grow up and accept that you're a package deal meaning she'll always have to share you with your communicating with your ex and visiting kids. Try couples counseling. If your fiance continues to be unreasonable, then don't marry her.
    "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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    • #3
      Originally posted by chanelle View Post
      Brokenman140 I advise you to put your engagement on indefinite hold and not marry your fiance until you get your fiance's jealousy issues resolved first because this problem will not go away. In fact, this problem will escalate and grow worse after you two are married. Your fiance needs to mature, grow up and accept that you're a package deal meaning she'll always have to share you with your communicating with your ex and visiting kids. Try couples counseling. If your fiance continues to be unreasonable, then don't marry her.
      Exactly!!!!!

      You can't possibly think this is acceptable behavior from your fiance. It will undermine your relationship with your children. Tell your fiance to get some counseling or the marriage is off.

      BTW, why in the world would you get engaged to someone you've been dating for only seven months?

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Brokenman140 View Post
        Iíve been with my fiancť for nearly 7 months and I love her to death. The problem is that she hates that I communicate with my ex wife about our 2 kids. My ex and I are barely cordial at best and she has had a boyfriend of 4 years so itís not like Iíd have a chance not that I would want one anyway since I divorced her. My fiancť loses her shit anytime I speak to her and has asked me to block my ex which then prevents me from communicating efficiently with her about our kids. My fiancť has a very bad temper and I know this but tonight she has said once again that I lie to her which I donít do. I did block my ex then realized it was nearly impossible to talk effectively via emails. Iím stuck between my fiancť (I think she is still at this moment) and my ex who is merely the mother of our 2 kids. I donít even know what to think or do now.... looking for some advice
        You love her to death? Prove it by disconnecting yourself from your children. Thatís what she wants isnít it? For you to prove your words?

        She is not asking you to choose between your ex wife and her.
        She is asking you to choose between your kids and her?

        Whats your choice? Her or your kids?

        This has nothing to do with your ex wife , but everything to do with your future wifeís control and manipulation issues.
        Are you actually going to succumb? And give up your children?

        Your choice. What are you going to do?

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        • #5
          Brokenman140 Maggie is right. Your 'fiance' is too controlling and manipulative. It's wrong what she made you do. You CANNOT cut yourself off from your kids and you shouldn't consider that for a second. She is totally out of order for this and the longer you are with her the worse its going to get. She sounds like a very insecure woman who is only going to make things more complicated for you. I know you love her but you cant live like this. It is clear her goal is to completely cut your kids out of your life, and if you let this happen then you are a fool and will end up resenting and hating her for it. Your kids will end up resenting YOU for giving up on them. Tell her straight that she either learns to accept it or that's it for you and her. You know what you have to do.
          Last edited by Dazed & Confused; November 6th, 2018, 08:40 AM.

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          • #6
            Why on earth would you get engaged after 7 months? What is wrong with you??
            Clearly you got engaged to someone without knowing who they truly are. You need at least a year to get over the honeymoon phase. After that the real issues pop up.

            Please, as others have said, don't marry this woman unless she can show to you that she's gotten over her jealousy issues.
            You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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            • #7
              I'm not sold that you're texting about the kids only. Can you please confirm that again. This is one of two things. 1) your fiance is wacky or 2) you're engaging in niceties and other bullshit with your ex-wife that isn't very kosher OR you've given your fiance reason to doubt you.

              I have other questions and it's not adding up to me:
              - you love your fiance and you asked her to marry you: this should mean there's a deeper connection between the both of you
              - why aren't you trusting that deeper connection or better yet, why isn't SHE trusting that deeper connection between the both of you??
              - you said you never lie but yet that statement itself could be a lie and you're actually a liar (we don't know that)

              I'm not saying that I don't believe your story. I do think it's heavily one-sided. I do believe you should be with a woman who treats you right but your story doesn't add up for a number of reasons.

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              • #8
                Who the fuck in their right mind would get engaged after only 7 months of dating? You don't even know her at that point but you're finding out that she's a jealous cow that (as Maggie says) is trying to isolate you from your children. That alone should be enough reason for you to dump her psychotic ass and find someone who understands that in order to co-parent your children, you're going to have to talk to their mother.

                Is your "fiance" that good in bed that you're willing to ignore her particular brand of crazy?
                "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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