Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

In a relationship but have fallen for a different guy. What do I do?

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • In a relationship but have fallen for a different guy. What do I do?

    Iím in a relationship, and have recently attended a two week training course. There, I met a guy in my group and at first I thought yeah, heís attractive, but Iíve gotten to know him and somewhere between first meeting him and finishing the course I genuinely think Iíve fallen for him. Obviously, Iím in a relationship, and this has never happened before so naturally my brain has gone into panic mode because I donít know what to do. My course has finished, and after this thereís realistically no way Iíll see him again but half of me was wishing heíd ask for my number. I hate that Iím feeling this way in a long term relationship. Is it normal? What do I do? Iím really looking for nonjudgmental help right now.

  • #2
    relationship, crush, advice

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by anonymouskit View Post
      relationship, crush, advice
      sorry guys, Iím new here

      Comment


      • #4
        The fact that you secretly wish he had asked for your number tells me that the relationship that you're in isn't solid. If you were in love with him, you wouldn't be entertaining ideas about other men.

        What you need to do is a little self-exploration to discover what it is you want out of life. Clearly the man you're with doesn't check all of your boxes. Is it fair to him for you to not be 100% committed to him? Would you be happier single?
        "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by SarahLancaster View Post
          The fact that you secretly wish he had asked for your number tells me that the relationship that you're in isn't solid. If you were in love with him, you wouldn't be entertaining ideas about other men.

          What you need to do is a little self-exploration to discover what it is you want out of life. Clearly the man you're with doesn't check all of your boxes. Is it fair to him for you to not be 100% committed to him? Would you be happier single?
          For the last week I have thought of where Iím at, and where I want to go. But I genuinely love and care for who Iím currently with, Iíve never had this happen to me before. And certainly donít think itís right in any way, but I still couldnít help but think ďmaybe heíll want to see me when all of this is doneĒ, but nothing ever happened and I found myself feeling upset. As I mentioned before, Iíll likely never see him again, but I still would like to reflect on why Iím feeling this way. But seeing as Iím happy with who Iím with, I donít know where itís stemmed from, we have our differences like all people do.

          Comment


          • #6
            I can't speak for anyone else but I can say (in my experience) it's normal to think of other people in your life especially if you're not 100% committed or the relationship is growing but hasn't reached total commitment yet. I haven't experienced this being with my husband but I have in other relationships. That's why it's important to choose them carefully and choose spending your time carefully. You can't really stop those feelings but you can control how you act upon them and what you choose to do with those thoughts (dwell on them or squash them/put it in perspective) is your choice. I don't advise you pouring this out on your significant other because this crush is superficial and seems temporary. It sounds more like you're annoyed and disturbed with yourself for feeling this way and it's confusing to you. Just ride the wave and don't make a big thing out of it. Forget it over time and choose not to focus on it. Focus on your relationship and connecting better with your partner. If you are unhappy with your partner (if you find there IS something that comes up that doesn't jive, deal with that with your partner and leave this type of "crush" behind - it's not going to help the situation).

            Maybe this "crush" evokes an intellectual side of you that appeals to you and you're not getting this from your SO. You said you were in a course together. Don't be shy about wanting more out of your relationship and seeking new ways to appreciate each other. If you're both stuck in a routine, do more together and reconnect more on an intellectual level.
            Last edited by Rose Mosse; October 12th, 2018, 10:56 AM.

            Comment

            Working...
            X