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  • I donít get it

    itís been a few days Iím going crazy trying to figure out what happened w this guy I went out two times. I know it wasnít much but we had so much fun ... stayed out together for endless hours talking and laughing .. we reached a point where we walked around holding hands and both times he initiated all the physical contact.in between the two dates he always messaged me asking to go out again. I study at a different city few hours away and we said weíd keep in touch. I go away for a few days he never contacts me . I sent a message telling him Iím back for a few days if he wanna hang out and he says sure but then disappears ! I didnít sent another message but I donít get it! Is this normal behaviour? I wanna send a message and ask what happened but I know Iíll be so hurt if he says he just doesnít like me after all . Or maybe he wonít even answer again... what should I do

  • #2
    Don't do anything. The ball is in his court. Any number of things could be going on. Did you meet him online? If so, he's probably meeting other females as well. Maybe he's busy. Maybe after two dates he thought it wasn't worth pursuing.

    This happens. Don't wait around for him to call. Keep up your social life.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      Thank you for the response ! Maybe thatís it and he met a new one but he could have just replied and said he found someone new and doesnít want to see me again. That uncertainty is worse cause Iím thinking maybe I did sth to cause it. Thanks again

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      • #4
        Next time don't invest so much time in someone you barely know. Friendships and relationships take time to grow. I think it's a red flag if he's so available at the start or open with his physical affections. I'm referring to your endless hours talking and laughing. Maybe I'm a prude but that has always given me the time to suss someone out if he or she is the real deal. Agree with Sarah - don't let this dampen your social life. Just read between the lines more and don't be afraid to enjoy the company of other men again.

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        • #5
          Try not to get too carried away so early on. He is still probably meeting others, and may be investing time elsewhere with other women at this point. It was rude to leave you hanging like that after indicating he was interested in getting together, but unfortunately, some people don't know how to politely end things or cool things down a bit, or decline an invitation, and they'd rather just ghost you to avoid having a difficult conversation.

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          • #6
            Try not to get too carried away so early on. He is still probably meeting others, and may be investing time elsewhere with other women at this point. It was rude to leave you hanging like that after indicating he was interested in getting together, but unfortunately, some people don't know how to politely end things or cool things down a bit, or decline an invitation, and they'd rather just ghost you to avoid having a difficult conversation.

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            • #7
              Wow, I'm not sure why my posts are being duplicated when I only press the reply button once.

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              • #8
                Don't worry, Mary. It happened to me one time before.

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                • #9
                  Thank you all for your input. Itís been years since I last felt that kind of connection hence why Iíve taken it so badly . Iím usually very non galant about dates that donít work out. Itís just w this guy he was the one making future plans in terms of visiting me or taking me a trip to a place he loves he even liked my pictures after we made plans meeting like 4 days ago and the same night I sent him a message I was home he just didnít answer!!! I know I shouldnít read much into him liking my picture but it happened hours before his disappearance . I see he is online these days but I donít send anything hence asking for opinions..tha k you all so much

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                  • #10
                    There may be a lot of issues under the surface that you don't know about. He's not a bad person but he's not the right person for you. When someone doesn't treat you the way you wish to be treated, remember that that itself may just be a blessing. Let things unfold as they should. You focus on being you and don't let this hurt you for too long. If you can muster it, take him off any social media and fill your life up with people who are far more respectful of your person and your presence.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by DforDove View Post
                      Thank you all for your input. Itís been years since I last felt that kind of connection hence why Iíve taken it so badly . Iím usually very non galant about dates that donít work out. Itís just w this guy he was the one making future plans in terms of visiting me or taking me a trip to a place he loves he even liked my pictures after we made plans meeting like 4 days ago and the same night I sent him a message I was home he just didnít answer!!! I know I shouldnít read much into him liking my picture but it happened hours before his disappearance . I see he is online these days but I donít send anything hence asking for opinions..tha k you all so much
                      Did you have sex with him within those two dates you've had?
                      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by phasesofthemoon View Post

                        Did you have sex with him within those two dates you've had?
                        no we didnít ! Just fooled around lightly ! Kissing and stuff ... thatís another reason Iím perplexed cause he mentioned he liked me sexually too . I just wish I knew . Oh well

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                        • #13
                          Men can be assholes. What else can I say? It's easier for him to ghost you than to tell you he's not interested or that someone better turned up.
                          "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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                          • #14
                            Iím not one to generalise but the last few years Iíve dated men who lacked honesty and were so damn confusing . I actually got excited this time cause he seemed straight forward and honest . I definitely learned my lesson for one more time

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                            • #15
                              DforDove He was dishonest and insincere. He had brief fun and that was it for him. He's a boy; not a man. In the future, make sure your guard is up, establish friendship first if there is any and proceed from there. Take baby steps as you get to know a person first because you'll never know if he's a dud or not. Beware. Don't play into hand holding and physical affection unless you know the guy's character which takes weeks or months!
                              "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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