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  • Schoolmate

    Hey,
    I need help with my schoolmate, that I fancy.

    Ive known her for 5 years and weve been talking for 3 years now. We used to play games together, facecam etc. A few years back, she invited me to the movies, however I refused because I was just dumb lol. We kept talking but then we stopped because neither of us had time. After that I realized that I miss her and that I actually really like her looks and her personality as well.
    So I started actually trying, working hard however she didnt feel the same way anymore. She refused me twice.
    Last time I tried anything was like 10 months ago. I invited her to the movie It. She said that shes too scared and that she would gladly go out with me or go to a different movie. Well, after a day or two I tried to pick a different movie however she didnt have time.
    I did the mistake of being really needy and I started asking her a bit too often, so she got mad and basically told me to fuck off. I havent tried ever since.. Ive actually lost 10kgs during summer now and got a haircut, so that might help atleast a bit..

    What would you do if you were me? Do you think that there still is a point in trying? We still talk every here and there..
    Last edited by Taco23; September 11th, 2018, 11:36 AM.

  • #2
    She said she's too scared. That's an emotion that's coming from her which indicates a neuroses or trauma that is her own. You cannot control her lack of dealing with her own emotion or that minor rejection a few years ago. You are not her daddy or her bandaid to help her recover from her cut. If a woman doesn't want to be around you, accept it with grace and stop acting poorly about it. Have the grace to accept it for what it is and meet other people.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Rose Mosse View Post
      She said she's too scared. That's an emotion that's coming from her which indicates a neuroses or trauma that is her own. You cannot control her lack of dealing with her own emotion or that minor rejection a few years ago. You are not her daddy or her bandaid to help her recover from her cut. If a woman doesn't want to be around you, accept it with grace and stop acting poorly about it. Have the grace to accept it for what it is and meet other people.
      She was scared of the movie.. :-D Its called It, as I said and its an horror.

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      • #4
        Oh. Pardon, I misunderstood. It wasn't too scary. My husband saw it twice. Once with his friend and the second time with me. I think you should lie low though - she told you to f- off which is not nice unless she was joking.
        Last edited by Rose Mosse; September 11th, 2018, 12:42 PM.

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        • #5
          Well, is there anything I can do? What do you think?

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          • #6
            No. She told you to fuck off. That is a good sign to fuck off.
            The more you try something with her the more gross you look (clingy/not getting the message). Leave her alone.

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            • #7
              Taco23 No, there is no point trying. Congrats about losing weight and getting a haircut though. Just chalk it up to lessons learned for the next girl. Never be perceived as needy and desperate otherwise you'll alienate girls very quickly. Establish friendship first before asking out for movie dates and the like. Or, go out to eat where it isn't dark and awkward. Get to know the girl as a friend first and don't seem so eager and pushy otherwise she will reject you. It's a delicate dance. You need to behave yourself, act properly, be gracious, well-mannered, polite, kind, empathetic and then the girl will see who you really are in that order! One step at a time. Don't rush. You don't want to look like a jerk nor act like one. You can't do anything about the girl you lost. You had your chance and blew it. All you can do is learn from your past mistakes and behave like a gentleman in the future. Good luck.

              As for the current girl, just be a nice acquaintance type friend and leave it at that. She'll remain aloof towards you and wary so be prepared for her coolness. Just be prepared for your future and navigate yourself intelligently.
              "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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