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Why do I think everyone likes him?

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  • Why do I think everyone likes him?

    Iím a gay male and I have a huge crush on a straight friend of mine. I would never make a move as I do not want to ruin the friendship. I need to try to get over him, but Iím having a hard time. I do think he knows, but we do not speak of it and he doesnít seem weird about it at all. Anyway, he is not the most attractive person, but I cannot stop thinking everyone wants to get with him. Men, women, it doesnít matter. I have shared this with a friend of mine and she does not know why I think this, but I do. Everyone that talks to him I think they want him too. Every time I see him or any picture I see, I think oh my gosh, he is so good looking, everywhere he goes people must throw themselves at him. They donít. Why do you think I think this? I need to move on, but I canít because I canít get over this feeling that heís such a great guy that everyone wants. Why do I think this about a guy people might not even look twice at?

  • #2
    You're idolizing him. You'd do well to back off for a while and keep your interaction with him to a minimum until you can get yourself back to earth about him. Maybe even start looking for someone who you can become romantic with who has your same sexual orientation.
    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


    • #3
      Maybe you just have this feeling that he is so attractive and that everybody wants to get with him. You like him as you said, so it is possible that you see a competition in every person who just want to communicate with him. May I ask how old are you?


      • #4
        Sounds like you're in love with the guy. Must be difficult to keep your feelings contained. I would suggest reducing the amount of time you spend with this guy so you are not nurturing your feelings of attraction for him, and focus your attention on making other friends who could fill that void. It's the same principle as someone who wants to reduce their attraction to an unavailable person - reduce the amount of time you spend with them, refocus your thoughts when you find yourself obsessing about the person so you are not feeding the attraction in your mind, and focus on cultivating other relationships with people.


        • #5
          cant comment on this as i see it strange lol.


          • #6
            I agree with Mary and Phases. Limit your interactions and be kind to yourself. It's time now to acknowledge truly that this friendship is not going to progress and be kind to yourself in the sense that you need to take care of yourself and return back to reality. Re-learn how to focus your energies elsewhere on people and things that matter to you in ways that give back to you too. This is a one-way street and it will hurt you in the long run. It's fine to feel those feelings but what is not fine is bumbling around doing the same thing, making the same mistakes and in constant confusion and sadness. That is not smart. Be smart about it and live a more fulfilling life.