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Help, how to re engage the girl that has the upper hand in the chase

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  • Help, how to re engage the girl that has the upper hand in the chase

    So, a little back story, I had broken up with my girlfriend that day and decided to go to a friends party to get my mind off of things. I was feeling pretty ballsy add with a few drinks I was as confident and care free as I could be. I met a girl while I was there and we hit it off pretty well, we exchanged numbers and some good conversation and she left. I texted her the next day (just a quick (hey last night was fun we should do it again sometime kinda text) and didn’t get a response, oh well, no big deal. I ended up getting back with this ex girlfriend the next day (we where very on and off for 8 months and I wasn’t happy in the relationship) and that lasted all until about 5 days later and we broke up again. And we’ll what do you know this girl came into the picture at the perfect time. She texted me back and we started talking. And later that night we hooked up. ended up using her to keep me from going back to my ex, and in turn my emotions got the best of me I caught feelings very quickly and I looked at her like a real prospect for another relationship. And I didn’t do a very good job at hiding it I don’t think.

    We talked pretty regularly for the next 2 weeks after that and hooked up a few more times, but here’s where I think I fucked up. As the relationship progressed I told her that I liked her and she told me that she liked me, asked me what my intentions where, am I just a rebound etc. and I started to catch feelings, and well, opened up about them (oops). I mean who wouldn’t, heartbroken from an ex, she’s telling me she’s into me, perfect! What could go wrong right? Fatal mistake. I texted her every morning, never let her chase me, called her cutie, pretty much didn’t let her do any of the work (again, oops).

    Normally I’m a pretty alpha dominant guy, funny, tall, slight dad bod action going on, mysterious, confident, real ladykiller. But coming out of a toxic relationship to me unconsciously I let my guard down and didn’t allow her to chase me.

    anyways, she left for a trip where she wouldn’t have much service for a week and in the days prior to her leaving our talking dwindled into short brief conversations, but she still called me every night until 2 nights before that stopped too. I got one text message from her while she was on the trip and it was a drunken one or two word, I replied the morning after because I was asleep and got nothing, then I really fucked up and sent another text later that night (“hey hope your having fun, miss ya”) and haven’t gotten anything since. She left and the week has come and gone and I still haven’t received a text.

    She got back yesterday and I don’t know how long I should wait to re engage or if I should wait for her to come to me or even how to re engage if I should do that at some point. And more importantly tips on keeping her engaged and hiding those feelings until we’re both ready to make a step forward. Being heart broken for a week (over her and the breakup) and anylizing the situation I can see what I did wrong but how do I fix it and take back my control of the game.

    Please help!

  • #2
    You've done enough. What you can do to up your game is do nothing at all. Chill out and sit back. Put your feet up and stop fixing everything.
    You'll be fine. Just relax long enough to let people come to you.
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; August 8th, 2018, 07:31 PM.


    • #3
      You are in a similar position to me, please read my post to see if you can relate. I personally would sit back, hold your feelings in as heart broken as you are and avoid saying anything too heart felt. Its ok every now and then to pop up and say good morning to show you thought of her when you woke up. You don't want to pressure her too much and you also need to give her space to see what she wants. If she really cares, she will come to you. If a week or two go by and you haven't heard anything, 're engage the convo light heartedly so she knows you care. You don't have to say words to show you like or care about someone. Just show you do by organising meet ups etc.