Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Advice on girlfriends behavior is this approriate?

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Advice on girlfriends behavior is this approriate?

    Ive been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for 6 months now. The past month and a half has been rough. We moved fast and actually got engaged 3 months in. Things were great up until the last month and half and we broke up only to get back together as gf and bf. I should mention we dont live together either. Anyways getting straight to the point her daughter plays a lot of baseball/softball 3 teams one travel team. Her mom my girlfriend goes to allllllllll games and practices religiously especially in the summer for travel ball. Sometimes she goes to these games all week. I work 12 hour days so I don't see her all day or after. While she is at the games she barely calls or texts practically doesn't. Her ex goes to these games to there kid is 14. He goes to them all the time too. I can honestly sat there is nothing between them at least from my girls standpoint and from what im told they don't even sit near each other at the games they haven't been together in over 10 years. .......heres where it gets interesting. My girl has chronic vertigo and cant drive on the highway so she drives to these hour to 2 hour away games with him and the daughter, When I originally found out I flipped out long story short I ended up telling her this year is ok since this was going on before she met me but next year hell no. Regardless of whether I trust her which I do its just the point. Secondly Im not invited or allowed to go to these games or practices according to my girlfriend....she says her daughter has to invite me although she told me in the past she respected her ex's wishes that he requested if someone goes she invites them....them being someone shes dating.......She tries saying its her daughter choice when we all know her bitter ex and he is bitter its obvious doesn't want other men there. My girl respects that too.....no man has ever been to these games......she defends it I think its jacked up...what do I do because she wont budge on it......is this inappropriate behavior?

  • #2
    I should mention my opinion on why she is ok with this.....The dad is a cry baby and has ran out of the daughters life before over him and the mom not getting along...she mentioned this but not over why but I believe it was a guy. The dad is a loser with no job sells weed and is 42 im 33 and my girl is 37. My girl has full custody and I think she gets a little child support and the guy does pay for his daughters clothes and stuff often but essentially could pay nothing and maybe even pay less child support because hes never had a job. So he also takes her to school picks her up ect which is also convienent for my girl. The daughter never soends the night away from her either so shes kinda in a good spot with him and doesn't want him to leave her daughters life and upset her or screw up the convience of how she has him now. jmo

    Comment


    • #3
      1984dte Since your girlfriend is a mother, she has every right to do as she pleases as she raises her daughter however way she sees fit even if it endangers her life. It's not inappropriate. She's letting you know that you should not interfere with her relationship with her daughter, her ex, driving, attending all practices and games. If you wish to remain in this relationship, you must acquiesce and if you do not like it, it's time to exit the relationship and date a woman with no baggage, i.e., children from previous marriage or ex. Whenever there are children involved, most relationships tend to be complicated, messy and you have low priority until the child turns at least age 18.
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

      Comment


      • #4
        even though I pay all her daughters and her bills while not even living there and the only reason im not allowed to gois because her ex doesn't like seeing her with another man??? sorry that's inappropriate

        Comment


        • #5
          would you let your man drive with his ex to a baseball game for there kid.....and she says you cant go because shes bitter about him being in a relationship with you??? and on top of it have no communication with you and refuse to while being there

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by chanelle View Post
            Since your girlfriend is a mother, she has every right to do as she pleases as she raises her daughter however way she sees fit even if it endangers her life
            What?!



            Originally posted by 1984dte View Post
            would you let your man drive with his ex to a baseball game for there kid.....and she says you cant go because shes bitter about him being in a relationship with you??? and on top of it have no communication with you and refuse to while being there
            Nah, I'd just leave and save myself the headache. Which is what I think you should do.
            Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

            Comment


            • #7
              I think you might have moved too fast with this relationship. You said you're paying for her bills but are not even included in family activities like the softball games? That would bother me a lot, even if the reason she doesn't invite me is because going would make her daughter/ex uncomfortable. I feel like if she really loved you and really wanted to be with you indefinitely then she would risk their discomfort so you could be together. If I were you I would immediately stop paying her bills. That's not your responsibility, and it just seems like an over commitment on your part. You are supporting her financially when she doesn't seem to be devoted to you emotionally. I would dump her entirely, but if you really want the relationship to work I would start by telling her you don't feel comfortable paying her bills anymore.

              Comment


              • #8
                Why on earth are you paying her daughter's bills?
                "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by 1984dte View Post
                  Ive been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for 6 months now. The past month and a half has been rough. We moved fast and actually got engaged 3 months in. Things were great up until the last month and half and we broke up only to get back together as gf and bf. I should mention we dont live together either. Anyways getting straight to the point her daughter plays a lot of baseball/softball 3 teams one travel team. Her mom my girlfriend goes to allllllllll games and practices religiously especially in the summer for travel ball. Sometimes she goes to these games all week. I work 12 hour days so I don't see her all day or after. While she is at the games she barely calls or texts practically doesn't. Her ex goes to these games to there kid is 14. He goes to them all the time too. I can honestly sat there is nothing between them at least from my girls standpoint and from what im told they don't even sit near each other at the games they haven't been together in over 10 years. .......heres where it gets interesting. My girl has chronic vertigo and cant drive on the highway so she drives to these hour to 2 hour away games with him and the daughter, When I originally found out I flipped out long story short I ended up telling her this year is ok since this was going on before she met me but next year hell no. Regardless of whether I trust her which I do its just the point. Secondly Im not invited or allowed to go to these games or practices according to my girlfriend....she says her daughter has to invite me although she told me in the past she respected her ex's wishes that he requested if someone goes she invites them....them being someone shes dating.......She tries saying its her daughter choice when we all know her bitter ex and he is bitter its obvious doesn't want other men there. My girl respects that too.....no man has ever been to these games......she defends it I think its jacked up...what do I do because she wont budge on it......is this inappropriate behavior?
                  Read your own post, imagine it's someone else's and see how ridiculous it is!
                  You got engaged 12 weeks or 84 days after meeting her. Why?
                  You split up after 6 weeks or 42 days engaged. Why?
                  You got back together for 6 weeks or 42 days . Why?

                  She will always have a connection with het daughters father, why did YOU think otherwise?

                  It is YOU that can't handle this relationship, why did you enter an agreement to be in this relationship for the long haul (marriage) !!?
                  Marrying her will not change her priority which is her daughter which allows her daughter to see her father as much as possible.

                  You dont have to agree or like it. You can leave it. This is the situation you are in. You can't control it nor should you try.

                  Take it or leave it.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    She pushed the engagement.....broke up with her originally because I found out she went to a travel game and hour and a half away and she drove with her ex without me knowing. That was when I first found out she drives with her ex. Going to games for her daughter is not the issue...me not being allowed is because her ex is there. She also would say they donít even sit in the same area....found out that was a lie too. Her father is a loser drug dealer no job not even a good one at that lives with his mom and dad and as 42

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Iíll leave it

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        1984dte Oops, I meant, it's dangerous for her to drive with vertigo. Report her to the DMV. She should get her driver's license revoked since she's endangering everyone's right to road safety!
                        "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by 1984dte View Post
                          I should mention my opinion on why she is ok with this.....The dad is a cry baby and has ran out of the daughters life before over him and the mom not getting along...she mentioned this but not over why but I believe it was a guy. The dad is a loser with no job sells weed and is 42 im 33 and my girl is 37. My girl has full custody and I think she gets a little child support and the guy does pay for his daughters clothes and stuff often but essentially could pay nothing and maybe even pay less child support because hes never had a job. So he also takes her to school picks her up ect which is also convienent for my girl. The daughter never soends the night away from her either so shes kinda in a good spot with him and doesn't want him to leave her daughters life and upset her or screw up the convience of how she has him now. jmo
                          Then "your girl" is in no way, ready to be in a serious committed relationship with you or anyone else. You are wasting your good dating years on her.
                          Last edited by phasesofthemoon; July 7th, 2018, 02:51 PM.
                          "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

                          Comment

                          Working...
                          X