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Do I like her or am I just using her to fill a void?

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  • Do I like her or am I just using her to fill a void?

    First off, to those of you in the US, happy 4th of July (Iím not American)
    So my last girlfriend broke up with me about a month and a half ago, ending off a year long relationship and I was in a bad place for the last month. However, over the past month or so, I feel like Iíve regained some control over my life and am headed for a better place now. In the last week and a half, I noticed that Iíd started to develop feelings for a female friend of mine (Yknow the heart skipping and whatnot) and these were feelings I havenít felt in awhile. Unfortunately, after the breakup, realized that I was really craving human interaction and some form of validation arising from my loneliness and now Iím unsure if those feelings are an actual crush or just me trying to fill a void my ex left. Some information about the new girl: she does not look like my ex in any way, sheís very conventionally attractive (IMO) but Iíve known this ever since we became friends, we have been friends for a year and a half now, i did not become friends with her just to get in her pants in the first place, we do talk but not super often. Iím not really looking for a full blown relationship or a rebound at this point and I donít think she is either so itís likely that Iíll just bury whatever feelings I have but Iíd like to know what the difference between liking someone or just using them to fill a void/merely as a rebound and how I can recognize these feelings. I donít want to lose a friend by acting on impulse or rush into a messy relationship. Sorry for asking such a weird question, Iíve been feeling very emotionally disconnected from myself (1 year of feeling nothing but love for one girl and then suddenly nothing/heartbreak/loneliness and Iíve forgotten what It feels like to be attracted to people or how to deal with these feelings)

  • #2
    Crap I just noticed the error in the title please excuse me

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    • #3
      Does it really matter if you know the difference? You're obviously attracted to this girl AND you're lonely. If you think you have a chance, ask her out and then see how you feel.

      (I fixed your title)

      Last edited by SarahLancaster; July 3rd, 2018, 01:55 PM.
      "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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      • #4
        "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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        • #5
          Probably both. Thereís always a bit of ďfilling the voidĒ in every relationship. But itís natural to have a bit of codependency. I wouldnít overthink it. Just give it a chance and see what happens. Friends come and go but love is worth taking the risk

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