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Heart Broken and Lost

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  • Heart Broken and Lost

    Hello everyone..

    First time here.
    I have known someone online for 6 years and we have been dating for 2 years now.
    i wasnt into distance relationship but i decided to give him a chance.
    We used to have a good time, chatting and caming all the time..
    Lately we have been arguing a lot but we eventually talked it out and said what bothers us and how we can change.
    So iv changed for his needs and everything he asked for.. i stopped being mad or hiding sadness. i have completely been honest with him and opened up to him as he requested..
    He went for vacation this weekend and i didnt mind it at all and didnt mind him not sending me a message, i wanted him to enjoy and have fun.
    He told me this sunday that he is on his way home and hell message me once home.. Well i waited for that message but never received one until yesterday night.
    He said he doesnt love me anymore and doesnt have feelings for me, that he leaves me and wishes me best without telling me why.
    i called him, i SMS'd him trying to reach for him asking to give me at least a reason.
    eventually we talked , he said i take too much of his time and request too much.
    We used to have sexting..or such things... embarresing..over the internet.. but it just happened..
    He said he only requests 20 minutes of my life for those stuff.. and i ask him to spend time with me for more than 2 hours..
    Eventually i told him goodluck and everything , that we can just stay friends..
    he told me "i dont want to see you getting other people, either we go separate ways or we stay in contact and share love and sexual stuff without me requesting anything from him or we stay as friends with benefits"
    It really hurts me..

    I am lost.. i know its just distance relationship...but i truly love him and i worked my ass off while studying to buy a ticket and see him.. this end of year.. but i cancelled the ticket because of yesterday..

    is it wrong for me to request for him to spend time with me 2-3 hours of his day? =/
    I feel like im there for his "pleasure" over internet...

    Im really heart broken..
    i love him, i want to forgive... but how can a person say one thing and few minutes later say he said it out of "pressure , stress and metal breakdown"

    I feel like im there for pleasure.. i really want to think he loves me.. but im at lose...
    I really feel broken and upset...

    What shall i do?

  • #2
    Have you ever met this guy in person?
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


    • #3
      No i havnt sadly...But i almost bought a ticket to meet him.. I know its distance and all that "crap"
      But i truly loved him and spent hours of my day to see him on cam, talk on phone and everything.. untill things been going down lately.
      I used to chat his family too and all..
      I worked my life hard to get the money to go visit him while studying at the university..
      Its hard .. i know its just "far distance" but i was willing to make it work


      • #4
        Meow, you have been ridiculous. You have spent two years of your dating life chasing after some on-screen fantasy. You haven't been 'dating.' You've been wasting your time. Do you know how foolish you appear?

        Long-distance computer romances that last as long as yours has are doomed to failure. All he wants out of it right now is to use you for some 20 minute thrills, and he wants to have a real dating/sex life where he lives. Stop this nonsense and get some dignity. Block him out of your life and stop looking for love via your keyboard and skype camera.

        Find someone you can be physically with.
        "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


        • #5
          I agree with Sarah. Please stop wasting your time. If you are looking for answers this is the hot soup you've gotten yourself in: a situation that may offer you very little answers. There was very little commitment to begin with. He already gave you reasons. I think it's about time you look within and ask yourself why you are looking for love in this way online. If being a student is difficult, you're not alone. But finish your studies! And move on with your life and find someone who is sincere and committed in real life. I think you're lonely but you're looking for love and companionship in the wrong way.

          Another way to go about looking for love is to try online dating on a an actual dating site (legitimately) in your locale and streamline the candidates to profiles that are compatible to you and your lifestyle as a student right now, find interests and similarities that you both can build on.


          • #6
            Yes 2-3 hrs is way too much to request of his time.
            He actually wants to live a life that's not in front of a camera.
            Im guessing that 2 years ago is when he convinced you to cam sex not date.
            Because if he was interested in the latter , there would have been concrete plans to actually meet!

            6 years on and he never intended on meeting you in person, if he was keen to , he would have saved his vacation money for a trip to see you.

            I just hope for your sake, he hasn't recorded your cam sex sessions or screenshot them.

            A little bit of advice for the future, never ever cam sex with someone you have not dated for a significant amount of time in real life.

            My guess is that he has met an actual girl in real life and he knows he can't spend hrs in front of the camera although happy enough to continue his accustomed method of getting off.

            Block him and forgive yourself for being duped by this guy.
            Start living!