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Feelings for Housemate

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  • Feelings for Housemate

    Hey, so I've just finished my second year of uni and have lived with this girl, Eve, for the past two years and have gradually got more and more closer, flirting etc. Little signs over the last few months have escalated my thoughts that she may feel something for me: other housemates asking me what's going on between us, her sister making a comment about us being a couple. About 2 weeks ago our whole house were out at the club, and I drunkenly told her I liked her a lot which she said the same to me, and then I went to kiss her and ended up kissing her cheek and she said sorry and I went off. She tried to call me a couple of times but I ignored and we didn't speak about it but carried on as normal for another week.

    This last Friday she brought it up whilst we were at a bar and basically said she was crying after it thinking I wouldn't talk to her and that if she didn't have me she would be broken. She said she just sees me as a friend and doesn't want to ruin our third year living together and the house dynamics, but said maybe something could happen at the end/after uni but that she doesn't want a relationship with anyone right now as she's not in the right headspace. She mentioned not being surprised it happened and that her mum and sisters would always ask her what was happening with us. I had been on a couple of dates with a girl back home and someone must have told Eve as she mentioned this to me and said don't wait around for me, I said I would hold out for her. When we later got home we spoke about it more and she said she wanted to make it clear she just wants to be friends and that's about where things were left as we've all gone home for the summer and I won't see her for another 3 months.

    So, I'm still left a little confused as to whether she likes me but doesn't want to ruin things whilst we're still housemates/at uni, or if she just sees me as a friend and that's it? Thanks.

  • #2
    She sees you as just a friend. That's it. If she wanted you as a boyfriend, there's no negative 'headspace' in the universe that would prevent her from pursuing you. Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't want a relationship with you.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      ^^Agreed
      You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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      • #4
        Sorry, mate. This couldn't be louder or clearer. She's NOT into you. Maybe she liked fooling around with you a bit and was vain or wanting the male attention. Whatever it is, she's not interested in you. I think her crying was over the top and probably hormones or time of the month. Geezus, talk about overemotional or over-dramatic.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by mike98 View Post
          She said she just sees me as a friend and doesn't want to ruin our third year living together and the house dynamics

          she doesn't want a relationship with anyone right now as she's not in the right headspace.

          she said don't wait around for me

          she wanted to make it clear she just wants to be friends

          I'm still left a little confused as to whether she likes me or if she just sees me as a friend and that's it?
          The writing is on the walls. There shouldn't be any confusion, she has told you repeatedly she just wants to be friends, she does not want a relationship. Don't let your feelings for her and your hope for a relationship with her make you blind. It's not going to happen for you guys, you need to spend the summer getting over her, not convincing yourself she might be into you.

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