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Did I come on too strong

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  • Did I come on too strong


    I have been on a few dates with this woman, and on Saturday I asked about going out this week. She said "yes, we just gotta figure out what day!" and told me "I'll have to figure out my schedule when I go to work tomorrow but maybe Wednesday?"

    On Monday we were talking and I asked "did you find out if Wednesday will work for sure?"

    and she did not reply (though she was at work)

    Tuesday I asked "Hey just checking if Wednesday will work?" and she said "I don't think so. My babysitter is out of town and I'm not sure if my mom can watch my son because she is talking about going to dinner and a movie with friends"

    I said "well if it works out just let me know" and she said "ok i will"

    Well the date didn't happen, I suppose her mom couldn't babysit, and we have talked a few times since then(last night and today) but I'm curious, did I maybe come off to strong trying to set the date up? I wasn't trying to be pushy but I was also trying to figure out what was going on

  • #2
    cubbie88 , No, you didn't come on too strong. You were not pushy nor persistent. You were well-mannered. Cut her some slack. She's a mother. I'm a mother. Mothers are extremely busy and their child or children come first and foremost above everyone else in their lives. Keep that in mind. Then there's the babysitting arrangements which are a hassle to plan and schedule in advance. Dating a single parent will require a lot of patience on your part. Give her space and time. Then ask her to plan a date with you again. If she trails off, there's your answer. She wasn't serious. Be easy going. If it happens, it happens and if it doesn't, it wasn't meant to be.
    "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by chanelle View Post
      cubbie88 , No, you didn't come on too strong. You were not pushy nor persistent. You were well-mannered. Cut her some slack. She's a mother. I'm a mother. Mothers are extremely busy and their child or children come first and foremost above everyone else in their lives. Keep that in mind. Then there's the babysitting arrangements which are a hassle to plan and schedule in advance. Dating a single parent will require a lot of patience on your part. Give her space and time. Then ask her to plan a date with you again. If she trails off, there's your answer. She wasn't serious. Be easy going. If it happens, it happens and if it doesn't, it wasn't meant to be.
      Should I try next week or take a week off?

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      • #4
        cubbie88 You can try next week but not first thing Monday morning otherwise you will be perceived as pushy and impatient. Give her a few days to think about you or not think about you with all due respect. She has your number. If she's eager and enthusiastic about you, she will let you know. Not all women are shrinking violets. If she was only polite to you the previous time and eventually fades out of your life, there is your answer.
        "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by chanelle View Post
          cubbie88 You can try next week but not first thing Monday morning otherwise you will be perceived as pushy and impatient. Give her a few days to think about you or not think about you with all due respect. She has your number. If she's eager and enthusiastic about you, she will let you know. Not all women are shrinking violets. If she was only polite to you the previous time and eventually fades out of your life, there is your answer.
          I feel like she is interestedm, just gotta take it slow

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          • #6
            Originally posted by cubbie88 View Post

            I feel like she is interestedm, just gotta take it slow
            Complicated stuff this dating game isn't it?

            Good luck!

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            • #7
              If she really wanted to go out with you, she would have found a babysitter somewhere. She doesn't seem that interested.
              "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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              • #8
                Originally posted by SarahLancaster View Post
                If she really wanted to go out with you, she would have found a babysitter somewhere. She doesn't seem that interested.
                Ok but then why act interested?

                I asked her over text if she had a good time and if she was interested in seeing each other again and she said "I had a blast and would love to get together again" then said yes to another date

                if she had a bad time or didnt wanna see me why not just block or delete me and move on?

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                • #9
                  She probably DID have a good time and wouldn't mind getting together again. However, she's not (in my opinion) attracted to you enough to make it happen any time soon. Believe me. If I went out with a guy and he knocked my socks off, I would make the date happen, come hell, high water, or babysitting issues.
                  "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by cubbie88 View Post

                    Ok but then why act interested?

                    I asked her over text if she had a good time and if she was interested in seeing each other again and she said "I had a blast and would love to get together again" then said yes to another date

                    if she had a bad time or didnt wanna see me why not just block or delete me and move on?
                    How did you two meet, cubbie88 ?

                    I ask only because if you met her using an online dating app, it IS entirely possible that she is still actively looking and had her attention captured by another suitor. That's not to say that she didn't have a great time with you.
                    If she's keeping her options open, she may be keeping you on the back burner, thus no need to block or delete you.

                    Women can be dogs too.

                    Why not just ask her if she thought you came on too strong ?
                    The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by pistol View Post

                      How did you two meet, cubbie88 ?

                      I ask only because if you met her using an online dating app, it IS entirely possible that she is still actively looking and had her attention captured by another suitor. That's not to say that she didn't have a great time with you.
                      If she's keeping her options open, she may be keeping you on the back burner, thus no need to block or delete you.

                      Women can be dogs too.

                      Why not just ask her if she thought you came on too strong ?

                      Wouldn't asking her if I came on too strong look insecure?

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                      • #12
                        Here's what you need to ask yourself:

                        Why would I fill my head with a bunch of worry from what a bunch of strangers on the internet are speculating, when I could just ask the source myself ?

                        You've got a 50/50 shot of her saying 'yes' - but then at least you'd know !

                        If she doesn't initiate any further contact with you, and you DON'T ask her in the meantime, then how will you know if you should curb your enthusiasm the next time around, so you're not right back in the same position again ?
                        You get me ?
                        The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

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                        • #13
                          Adding:

                          She owes you nothing and you owe her nothing.
                          If a guy comes on too strong too early, MOST women won't have an issue telling you so.

                          You've got nothing to lose by asking, because if it's a fact, she's already moved on while you're still wondering if she's going to make that 2nd date.
                          The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by pistol View Post
                            Here's what you need to ask yourself:

                            Why would I fill my head with a bunch of worry from what a bunch of strangers on the internet are speculating, when I could just ask the source myself ?

                            You've got a 50/50 shot of her saying 'yes' - but then at least you'd know !

                            If she doesn't initiate any further contact with you, and you DON'T ask her in the meantime, then how will you know if you should curb your enthusiasm the next time around, so you're not right back in the same position again ?
                            You get me ?
                            True

                            I mean i did ask after out first date, the next day over text "Did you ahve a good time and would you want to get together again?" and she said "i had a blast and would love to get together again"

                            so yea i mean if she wasnt interested why say that lol. she couldve ignored it or said no

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                            • #15
                              That doesn't necessarily indicate 'interest' the way you think it does. It simply means that she enjoyed the date and has no problem doing it again possibly in the future. But she's also probably going out on several other first dates and saying the same things to those guys.
                              "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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