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Was i wrong?

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  • Was i wrong?

    i moved in with my bf and my dog he never lived with a dog before, and I guess he quickly realized that the lifestyle wasn't for him. The bf tried his best to tolerate my dog at first. But I could tell he resented him more and more each day. My dog got ill during the first week of moving, which I attributed to the excitement and new surroundings. He threw up on the floor a couple of times. I cleaned up the messes right away, but my bf just got so irritated. He said it was like having a young child, which he did not want ever. I reminded him that the dog is not his responsibility, so he shouldn't be worrying himself about this.

    We tried for about almost year to make it work, but it just wasn't. One day bf just snapped. My dog was being extra excited/abrasive because we were going to the beach. He started zooming around the place happily. He accidentally knocked my SO's coffee off the table with his tail, and my SO just starts yelling at him. He cursed and called him an idiot. My dog was actually fearful in this moment, he tucked his tail between his legs and hid behind me. I left that night because even I was scared--I'd never seen my SO act like this, ever.

    We talked over the phone and discussed the next step. He told me that he couldn't stand dogs and could no longer live with mine. He actually had the nerve to give me an ultimatum--he essentially said "it's me or the dog". I told him right away that there's no way I'd abandon my dog. He was actually shocked about my decision, and accused me of not actually loving him/caring about him. I told him of course I love you, but I can't be with someone who feels so threatened by an innocent animal. It just wasn't going to work out. It was bitter, but in the end, I think I made the right decision.

  • #2
    So do you have an alternative place to live with your dog? Where will you go?

    Why are you second guessing yourself?

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    • #3
      You did the right thing. It's not just about the dog. Your bf's behavior shows that he's incapable of caring for a weaker and dependant creature.
      Even if you both decide never to have children, what happens if you ever get sick and he needs to clean up after you?

      My boyfriend and I both had a dog when we met. Mine is pretty calm and well raised, so he's very obedient. His dog however had been spoiled and won't listen to anyone, destroys furniture, she'll even bite the plaster from the walls, she's had times where she "forgot" she was housebroken and started peeing and pooping on the floor again... Very exhausting, I can assure you. However, I will NEVER ask him to get rid of her. We're re-educating her and training her rigorously every day. She'll never be as obedient as mine, and I have peace with that. That dog is his responsability, and since I'm his partner, she's my responsability now too.

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      • #4
        How long did you know him before you moved in with him?
        "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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        • #5
          Originally posted by jeany View Post
          i moved in with my bf and my dog he never lived with a dog before, and I guess he quickly realized that the lifestyle wasn't for him. The bf tried his best to tolerate my dog at first. But I could tell he resented him more and more each day. My dog got ill during the first week of moving, which I attributed to the excitement and new surroundings. He threw up on the floor a couple of times. I cleaned up the messes right away, but my bf just got so irritated. He said it was like having a young child, which he did not want ever. I reminded him that the dog is not his responsibility, so he shouldn't be worrying himself about this.

          We tried for about almost year to make it work, but it just wasn't. One day bf just snapped. My dog was being extra excited/abrasive because we were going to the beach. He started zooming around the place happily. He accidentally knocked my SO's coffee off the table with his tail, and my SO just starts yelling at him. He cursed and called him an idiot. My dog was actually fearful in this moment, he tucked his tail between his legs and hid behind me. I left that night because even I was scared--I'd never seen my SO act like this, ever.

          We talked over the phone and discussed the next step. He told me that he couldn't stand dogs and could no longer live with mine. He actually had the nerve to give me an ultimatum--he essentially said "it's me or the dog". I told him right away that there's no way I'd abandon my dog. He was actually shocked about my decision, and accused me of not actually loving him/caring about him. I told him of course I love you, but I can't be with someone who feels so threatened by an innocent animal. It just wasn't going to work out. It was bitter, but in the end, I think I made the right decision.
          Yes, you made the right decision. Good riddance from one dog lover to another. Btw, my Golden Retriever is man's (woman's) best friend!
          "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Ayla View Post
            You did the right thing. It's not just about the dog. Your bf's behavior shows that he's incapable of caring for a weaker and dependant creature.
            Even if you both decide never to have children, what happens if you ever get sick and he needs to clean up after you?

            My boyfriend and I both had a dog when we met. Mine is pretty calm and well raised, so he's very obedient. His dog however had been spoiled and won't listen to anyone, destroys furniture, she'll even bite the plaster from the walls, she's had times where she "forgot" she was housebroken and started peeing and pooping on the floor again... Very exhausting, I can assure you. However, I will NEVER ask him to get rid of her. We're re-educating her and training her rigorously every day. She'll never be as obedient as mine, and I have peace with that. That dog is his responsability, and since I'm his partner, she's my responsability now too.
            i need someone like you,

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            • #7
              Originally posted by SarahLancaster View Post
              How long did you know him before you moved in with him?
              2 years 8 months

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