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  • She Keeps Talking About Her Ex-Boyfriend

    I met this girl at work, took her out on a fair number of dates and we hung out a lot. However, every second sentence she would mention something about her ex. For example, "oh my ex used to do that" and shit along that. Eventually it got to her telling me about their break up and shit so it was clear to me that she isn't over it, but I wanted to see how far the rabbit hole goes. We eventually had sex, I didn't cum, and she got offended. We tried it again a week later and this time I went soft inside her to which she got offended again. She tried going down on me - that didn't work.

    So the sex isn't as compatible and I only made her cum the first time. She was naked on top of me literally crying (as in tears) over her ex and how she begged him over and over again to take her back. Okay - she's definitely not over him. Fast-forward, she says she feels bad about everything her ex bought her and wants to pay him back. Fast-forward, yesterday, she was feeling scared and vulnerable and apparently I had indicated to her that I didn't want to listen to her (because we'd just had our almost 7th argument over this ex-boyfriend obsession) so she went and called him for comfort instead.

    Now she tells me that we're not even exclusive and it shouldn't bother me, and that she wants us to spend months getting to know each other and have less (mediocre) sex. Sounds like she wants an emotional tampon. In addition to this, she gets very upset whenever I mention my ex or she sees any other girl message me. She wants her cake and eat it too. She's expecting loyalty but she isn't loyal? She checks out guys in public right in front of me and tells me they're hot, then makes a big deal over it and randomly asks me how many girls I've checked out since I met her.

    We've only been seeing each other for 5 weeks. This isn't a girl who's girlfriend material. I have two options:

    1) I cut my losses and look elsewhere
    2) I let her know I don't wanna see her anymore unless it's for sex

    Eitherway, just curious to what you all would do in my situation.

    FYI It's been five months since she broke up with him.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Detritus View Post
    I met this girl at work, took her out on a fair number of dates and we hung out a lot. However, every second sentence she would mention something about her ex. For example, "oh my ex used to do that" and shit along that. Eventually it got to her telling me about their break up and shit so it was clear to me that she isn't over it, but I wanted to see how far the rabbit hole goes. We eventually had sex, I didn't cum, and she got offended. We tried it again a week later and this time I went soft inside her to which she got offended again. She tried going down on me - that didn't work.

    So the sex isn't as compatible and I only made her cum the first time. She was naked on top of me literally crying (as in tears) over her ex and how she begged him over and over again to take her back. Okay - she's definitely not over him. Fast-forward, she says she feels bad about everything her ex bought her and wants to pay him back. Fast-forward, yesterday, she was feeling scared and vulnerable and apparently I had indicated to her that I didn't want to listen to her (because we'd just had our almost 7th argument over this ex-boyfriend obsession) so she went and called him for comfort instead.

    Now she tells me that we're not even exclusive and it shouldn't bother me, and that she wants us to spend months getting to know each other and have less (mediocre) sex. Sounds like she wants an emotional tampon. In addition to this, she gets very upset whenever I mention my ex or she sees any other girl message me. She wants her cake and eat it too. She's expecting loyalty but she isn't loyal? She checks out guys in public right in front of me and tells me they're hot, then makes a big deal over it and randomly asks me how many girls I've checked out since I met her.

    We've only been seeing each other for 5 weeks. This isn't a girl who's girlfriend material. I have two options:

    1) I cut my losses and look elsewhere
    2) I let her know I don't wanna see her anymore unless it's for sex

    Eitherway, just curious to what you all would do in my situation.

    FYI It's been five months since she broke up with him.
    It's a bit messy to use her as fwb. She sounds unstable to put it mildly and you have a history of caring for her. I would choose 1) cut my losses and look elsewhere. Surely there is not such a dearth of women in your area that this woman is your only option. Practice your skills and enjoy getting to know new people.

    You've already made all the realizations you need to make. You might also want to check the things you are attracted to initially when you get to know someone. If you have a track history of dating very unstable, superficial women, I think you need to sit yourself down after you cut your losses and take a good look at where you want your life to go. Is it with a string of wasted time and unstable women or with more positive influences around you? Be more discerning but don't be distrustful and resentful or take out these experiences on the next woman you date.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Detritus View Post
      I met this girl at work, took her out on a fair number of dates and we hung out a lot. However, every second sentence she would mention something about her ex. For example, "oh my ex used to do that" and shit along that. Eventually it got to her telling me about their break up and shit so it was clear to me that she isn't over it, but I wanted to see how far the rabbit hole goes. We eventually had sex, I didn't cum, and she got offended. We tried it again a week later and this time I went soft inside her to which she got offended again. She tried going down on me - that didn't work.

      So the sex isn't as compatible and I only made her cum the first time. She was naked on top of me literally crying (as in tears) over her ex and how she begged him over and over again to take her back. Okay - she's definitely not over him. Fast-forward, she says she feels bad about everything her ex bought her and wants to pay him back. Fast-forward, yesterday, she was feeling scared and vulnerable and apparently I had indicated to her that I didn't want to listen to her (because we'd just had our almost 7th argument over this ex-boyfriend obsession) so she went and called him for comfort instead.

      Now she tells me that we're not even exclusive and it shouldn't bother me, and that she wants us to spend months getting to know each other and have less (mediocre) sex. Sounds like she wants an emotional tampon. In addition to this, she gets very upset whenever I mention my ex or she sees any other girl message me. She wants her cake and eat it too. She's expecting loyalty but she isn't loyal? She checks out guys in public right in front of me and tells me they're hot, then makes a big deal over it and randomly asks me how many girls I've checked out since I met her.

      We've only been seeing each other for 5 weeks. This isn't a girl who's girlfriend material. I have two options:

      1) I cut my losses and look elsewhere
      2) I let her know I don't wanna see her anymore unless it's for sex

      Eitherway, just curious to what you all would do in my situation.

      FYI It's been five months since she broke up with him.
      1) cut your losses and look elsewhere
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

      Comment


      • #4
        Run for the hills.
        This girl is too unstable to stay in contact with, even as a FWB. She'll only give you drama.

        Comment


        • #5
          5 weeks?sex! in 5 week seeing each other on top of that arguments?are you serious? this is the time you too to be gentle at each other,that girl is not yours look somewhere else,sorry she is not yours just with you because of frustrations she had with the boyfriend .dump her before she dump you

          Comment


          • #6
            I vote for No. 1
            "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

            Comment

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