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About to hang out with ex I still have very deep feelings for

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  • About to hang out with ex I still have very deep feelings for

    I talked to this girl for several months, and we were only official for a little longer than one month, but I had stronger feelings for her than I did any other girl I've ever talked to (I've been in a 3 year relationship and I'm very very picky). We didn't break up because we fought or anything. It was all a timing thing. She had a boyfriend for 4 years who cheated on her. When she found out, she had a new boyfriend within a month. They dated for a month and then she broke up with him. I came into the picture two months after this breakup. So for a 5 year period, she had been on her own for about 3 months. She told me she get like she hasn't gotten enough time to be okay with being on her own. When we broke up, she told me that she still wanted to be friends and talk to each other and even said "go on dates". I told her I tried this with my ex and it was a catastrophe, and she said I didn't have to be friends with her but it was my decision. So I told her I'd need some time to think about it because I wanted her in my life but the base of our relationship was romance because we weren't friends before we became a thing so feeings would always be there.

    I went 8 days without talking to her, then I tried texting her. We went to a Milky Chance concert on one of our first dates and that's one of her all time favorite musicians. I texted her and said "Someone just sang a Milky Chance song on the karaoke machine here" or something like that. Texts took super long to reply for both of us and conversation went nowhere. A little over a week later I snapped her and said "hey girl how have you been?" And she responded "hey dood (: good hbu" (she called me dude a lot). That conversation had pretty quick responses and she was actually engaged in the conversation this time but after about an hour of snapping I got rnr'd. Then the very next night she sent me a selfie of her with one of my best friends because she saw him at some concert thing that night at her school and I can't remember what I responded with because I was so drunk but she didn't respond to my response. That happened a little over two weeks ago.

    Now I've started to emotionally prepare for this being the end with her even though I really really thought she was the one and still feel like she is. I was about to tell her I loved her. Yesterday was Mother's Day, and I had lunch with my parents and grandparents. The waitress slipped me her number, and even though I had no (and still have no) intent to call her, my mom thought it was so grand she thought she'd take a picture of it and attatch it to the only other picture we took that day and post it on instagram. Mind you, in this picture I look pretty big (in a good way) but my mom cropped out my shoulder so you couldn't see it as much. But she still posts a pic if the note the waitress left me and blurred out the number, and mentioned it in her caption. My ex follows my mom on instagram, and she liked the picture. My mom and I have kind of a weird relationship, and I'd talk to my ex about it when we were dating and she always thought that I needed to just be vulnerable with her and thought she was a super cool person. It seemed to really bother her that we didn't have an ideal relationship, and seemed to take issue with the fact that I wouldn't tell my mom everything that's going on in my life. Yesterday I posted a picture honoring my mother, and left a super super sweet caption and then posted two pics: one of me and her when I was little and then the pic we took that day, but I showed my whole shoulder and I looked jacked as shit. She liked that picture almost immediately after I posted it. Then today, as I'm getting ready to hang out with a new girl (not the waitress), knowing damn well I have feelings for my ex but trying to move on, I see that she's calling my phone.

    Very surprised to see this, I answer. After greeting each other, she told me she didn't have anything to say and that she just wanted to talk and catch up. I asked her when she gets back in town, and she said on the 21st. I told her I was about to meet my grandparents for dinner (because I really was, but I was about to tell them I wasn't able to stay long), so she told me she'd let me go eat with them. I told her feel free to Snapchat me sometime and she said you too.

    Then, just a little bit ago, I check my Snapchat messages and I have one unread from her. It was an IM that said something to the effect of "hey I hope that call didn't make you feel weird. I really want to be friends." I told her that it wasn't weird and that I really had to be somewhere and that she could call me whenever she wanted. Then we went back and forth a little and I said "hang out with me when you get back." She responded "yeah we can catch up". Not exactly the response I was hoping for, since her last message included a smiley face and I saw that it took her over a minute to type that, but we've still established we're hanging out (sort of). I then responded and said fasho and she asked what I'd been up to and we had a little small talk back and forth but I'm pretty sure she fell asleep because this was past 3 am.

    When I do hang out with her, I want to make a move on her to establish that we still have something romantic. She was very touchy and lovey throughout the entire time we were together, so Ik that feeling will have to be somewhere within her when we hangout even if she tries to suppress it. How should I go about doing this? Any advice? Any more information you need in order to give me sound advice? Please lmk

  • #2
    Honestly, you need to give this girl space. Let her go.
    She clearly told you not that long ago that she needed time to be alone. She made a smart choice by doing so. Not so smart was offering to stay friends with you.
    Be the smarter person in this scenario. Tell her you've thought about it and you can't be her friend. You're going to end contact with her, delete and block her from your social media.
    Tell her she's not allowed to contact you unless she's moved on and is ready to be in a relationship. In which case, you'll see if you're still single and interested.
    Move on with your life. Don't wait around for her.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by jello5 View Post
      I talked to this girl for several months, and we were only official for a little longer than one month, but I had stronger feelings for her than I did any other girl I've ever talked to (I've been in a 3 year relationship and I'm very very picky). We didn't break up because we fought or anything. It was all a timing thing. She had a boyfriend for 4 years who cheated on her. When she found out, she had a new boyfriend within a month. They dated for a month and then she broke up with him. I came into the picture two months after this breakup. So for a 5 year period, she had been on her own for about 3 months. She told me she get like she hasn't gotten enough time to be okay with being on her own. When we broke up, she told me that she still wanted to be friends and talk to each other and even said "go on dates". I told her I tried this with my ex and it was a catastrophe, and she said I didn't have to be friends with her but it was my decision. So I told her I'd need some time to think about it because I wanted her in my life but the base of our relationship was romance because we weren't friends before we became a thing so feeings would always be there.

      I went 8 days without talking to her, then I tried texting her. We went to a Milky Chance concert on one of our first dates and that's one of her all time favorite musicians. I texted her and said "Someone just sang a Milky Chance song on the karaoke machine here" or something like that. Texts took super long to reply for both of us and conversation went nowhere. A little over a week later I snapped her and said "hey girl how have you been?" And she responded "hey dood (: good hbu" (she called me dude a lot). That conversation had pretty quick responses and she was actually engaged in the conversation this time but after about an hour of snapping I got rnr'd. Then the very next night she sent me a selfie of her with one of my best friends because she saw him at some concert thing that night at her school and I can't remember what I responded with because I was so drunk but she didn't respond to my response. That happened a little over two weeks ago.

      Now I've started to emotionally prepare for this being the end with her even though I really really thought she was the one and still feel like she is. I was about to tell her I loved her. Yesterday was Mother's Day, and I had lunch with my parents and grandparents. The waitress slipped me her number, and even though I had no (and still have no) intent to call her, my mom thought it was so grand she thought she'd take a picture of it and attatch it to the only other picture we took that day and post it on instagram. Mind you, in this picture I look pretty big (in a good way) but my mom cropped out my shoulder so you couldn't see it as much. But she still posts a pic if the note the waitress left me and blurred out the number, and mentioned it in her caption. My ex follows my mom on instagram, and she liked the picture. My mom and I have kind of a weird relationship, and I'd talk to my ex about it when we were dating and she always thought that I needed to just be vulnerable with her and thought she was a super cool person. It seemed to really bother her that we didn't have an ideal relationship, and seemed to take issue with the fact that I wouldn't tell my mom everything that's going on in my life. Yesterday I posted a picture honoring my mother, and left a super super sweet caption and then posted two pics: one of me and her when I was little and then the pic we took that day, but I showed my whole shoulder and I looked jacked as shit. She liked that picture almost immediately after I posted it. Then today, as I'm getting ready to hang out with a new girl (not the waitress), knowing damn well I have feelings for my ex but trying to move on, I see that she's calling my phone.

      Very surprised to see this, I answer. After greeting each other, she told me she didn't have anything to say and that she just wanted to talk and catch up. I asked her when she gets back in town, and she said on the 21st. I told her I was about to meet my grandparents for dinner (because I really was, but I was about to tell them I wasn't able to stay long), so she told me she'd let me go eat with them. I told her feel free to Snapchat me sometime and she said you too.

      Then, just a little bit ago, I check my Snapchat messages and I have one unread from her. It was an IM that said something to the effect of "hey I hope that call didn't make you feel weird. I really want to be friends." I told her that it wasn't weird and that I really had to be somewhere and that she could call me whenever she wanted. Then we went back and forth a little and I said "hang out with me when you get back." She responded "yeah we can catch up". Not exactly the response I was hoping for, since her last message included a smiley face and I saw that it took her over a minute to type that, but we've still established we're hanging out (sort of). I then responded and said fasho and she asked what I'd been up to and we had a little small talk back and forth but I'm pretty sure she fell asleep because this was past 3 am.

      When I do hang out with her, I want to make a move on her to establish that we still have something romantic. She was very touchy and lovey throughout the entire time we were together, so Ik that feeling will have to be somewhere within her when we hangout even if she tries to suppress it. How should I go about doing this? Any advice? Any more information you need in order to give me sound advice? Please lmk
      Don't make a move on her. She said she just wants to be friends with you so honor and respect her wishes. Be a gentleman and behave. Remember what she said about her wish to remain only friends with you and that's it.
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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