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  • How to choose between two girls?

    I知 trying to choose between two girls. Both love me, one I feel stronger than the other. The problem is, I met the second girl I知 absolutely stunned by through the first girl who is madly in love with me. She was so excited about me she introduced me to all her friends and her one friend ended up falling in love with me too.

    If I choose the second one, the first one will be crushed. If I choose the first one, I think the second one won稚 be affected as bad.

    I don稚 know what to do I知 so much more attracted to her friend but I知 so stressed out because I know if I choose the friend, the one who is madly in love with me will be devastated.

    How to choose?

  • #2
    Don't choose. Do all of yourselves a favor by doing the right thing by not choosing one or the other girl especially since you share mutual social circles. Don't hurt any girl. Have a conscience.
    "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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    • #3
      Originally posted by chanelle View Post
      Don't choose. Do all of yourselves a favor by doing the right thing by not choosing one or the other girl especially since you share mutual social circles. Don't hurt any girl. Have a conscience.
      I thought about that too, but also the other challenge is, after being single and picky for a very long time, I'm now challenged with having two amazing girls interested in me at the same time. One of the most difficult decisions I've faced in a long time.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by ConfusedHeart View Post
        I知 trying to choose between two girls. Both love me, one I feel stronger than the other. The problem is, I met the second girl I知 absolutely stunned by through the first girl who is madly in love with me. She was so excited about me she introduced me to all her friends and her one friend ended up falling in love with me too.

        If I choose the second one, the first one will be crushed. If I choose the first one, I think the second one won稚 be affected as bad.

        I don稚 know what to do I知 so much more attracted to her friend but I知 so stressed out because I know if I choose the friend, the one who is madly in love with me will be devastated.

        How to choose?
        Are you now dating both? When did you meet the first and second girl?
        The second girl who you agree wouldn't be affected too much is not a girl of integrity if she is seeing you behind her friends back.
        So, not really a good choice.

        The first girl deserves better than you since I'm guessing you are cheating on her.

        You have heard the expression "falling between two stools" right?

        You think you have a choice between two women but at the end of the day neither women will choose you.

        So, be kind to the first and end it. And ditch the other who is not someone you wouldn't want anyway.

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        • #5
          So you've been dating both and dishonest with the first one. The second one is complicit with you in deceiving the first girl. Dump the first girl and explain you've been seeing the second girl. Tell her She deserves better than you and apologize profusely. Then find a new friend group. You've sabatoged your current one. Keep seeing the second girl, as you both deserve each other and both have the same crappy morals. Don't be surprised if she ends up cheating o9n you.

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          • #6
            I'm not dating either one yet. We are friends and both of them have expressed their feelings towards me.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by ConfusedHeart View Post

              I thought about that too, but also the other challenge is, after being single and picky for a very long time, I'm now challenged with having two amazing girls interested in me at the same time. One of the most difficult decisions I've faced in a long time.
              This is what happens when you place yourself in the company, one on one, of the opposite sex when you find them attractive... you end up fucking yourself and everyone else over. You've cheated on girl one and now you're in this predicament.

              If I choose the second one, the first one will be crushed. If I choose the first one, I think the second one won稚 be affected as bad.
              I think if you choose the first one, the second one is going to tell the first one and screw YOU over good.

              I say you call it off with both of them and learn from your mistake so that you form more tighter personal and romantic relationship boundaries.

              You are screwed no matter who you pick so don't pick either. No. 1 deserves someone better and No. 2 isn't the best character if she'd knowingly cheat with you on her Friend. How would you trust her not to do on you, what she did with you?

              Neither one was meant to be your lifemate. Obviously they were meant to teach you a life lesson though.
              Last edited by phasesofthemoon; May 12th, 2018, 01:27 PM.
              "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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              • #8
                Originally posted by phasesofthemoon View Post

                This is what happens when you place yourself in the company, one on one, of the opposite sex when you find them attractive... you end up fucking yourself and everyone else over. You've cheated on girl one and now you're in this predicament.

                I think if you choose the first one, the second one is going to tell the first one and screw YOU over good.

                I say you call it off with both of them and learn from your mistake so that you form more tighter personal and romantic relationship boundaries.

                You are screwed no matter who you pick so don't pick either. No. 1 deserves someone better and No. 2 isn't the best character if she'd knowingly cheat with you on her Friend. How would you trust her not to do on you, what she did with you?

                Neither one was meant to be your lifemate. Obviously they were meant to teach you a life lesson though.
                Nobody is cheating as I have not dated either one yet. As far as they know right now I'm only interested in being friends with both of them.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by ConfusedHeart View Post

                  Nobody is cheating as I have not dated either one yet. As far as they know right now I'm only interested in being friends with both of them.
                  O ffs... Who cares then? It doesn't matter who you pick because you've not dated or slept with either one. Unless you've been leading No. 1 on by crossing platonic relationship boundaries, she has no claim to you. I have to ask though, how do you know she is 'crazy about you' and will be 'devastated' if you choose the other girl. How do you know No. 2 has fallen for you if all you are as friends?

                  What kind of non platonic things have been going on that have all of you so mixed up. What platonic relationship boundaries have y'all been crossing to get to this point?
                  "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by phasesofthemoon View Post

                    O ffs... Who cares then? It doesn't matter who you pick because you've not dated or slept with either one. Unless you've been leading No. 1 on by crossing platonic relationship boundaries, she has no claim to you. I have to ask though, how do you know she is 'crazy about you' and will be 'devastated' if you choose the other girl. How do you know No. 2 has fallen for you if all you are as friends?

                    What kind of non platonic things have been going on that have all of you so mixed up. What platonic relationship boundaries have y'all been crossing to get to this point?
                    They've both told me they love me and I have just said I'm only interested in friendship for now. The first one said she prays and wishes every night that one day I will be her husband. I've known them for about a year and a half.

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                    • #11
                      Then you should back off even simple friendship with them and allow them to get over their crush on you. With some real distance I would imagine you're ego would have a chance to simmer down and you'd not want either one of them.

                      You're actually being selfish by continuing a platonic friendship with them when you know they want more then that. Sure, you're not their keeper but having decency is the way to go here.
                      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by phasesofthemoon View Post
                        Then you should back off even simple friendship with them and allow them to get over their crush on you. With some real distance I would imagine you're ego would have a chance to simmer down and you'd not want either one of them.

                        You're actually being selfish by continuing a platonic friendship with them when you know they want more then that. Sure, you're not their keeper but having decency is the way to go here.
                        I'm pretty set on picking one of these two girls. I love both of them. It took me a lot longer to develop feelings for the first one, but the fact that she has tried so hard and fought hard for my heart makes her an attractive choice. The second one is simply gorgeous but has not had to try so hard simply because of her looks. The hardest part is I would not even know the second one if it weren't for the first one introducing me. If I knew them both separately it would not be so hard.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ConfusedHeart View Post
                          I'm not dating either one yet. We are friends and both of them have expressed their feelings towards me.
                          So let me get this straight. Two women are madly in love with you and you've never been on a date with either one of them. Master of exaggeration. You mean they are friends who have a crush on you.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Mary View Post

                            So let me get this straight. Two women are madly in love with you and you've never been on a date with either one of them. Master of exaggeration. You mean they are friends who have a crush on you.
                            Her words not mine

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by ConfusedHeart View Post

                              I'm pretty set on picking one of these two girls. I love both of them. It took me a lot longer to develop feelings for the first one, but the fact that she has tried so hard and fought hard for my heart makes her an attractive choice. The second one is simply gorgeous but has not had to try so hard simply because of her looks. The hardest part is I would not even know the second one if it weren't for the first one introducing me. If I knew them both separately it would not be so hard.
                              Where are your own friends?

                              Why was girl 1 so excited to introduce a platonic friend to her circle of friends? How long did you know girl 1 before introducing you to girl 2. ?
                              How did she introduce you? As a friend or future husband?

                              Have either girls dated guys in the past year and half?

                              Since girl 2 is girl 1's friend and not yours first and foremost , why are you hanging out with girl 2?
                              Do you ever hang out with either girl one on one?

                              Or better yet just the 3 of you?

                              Im guessing you are about 14 or 15 years old? Correct me if I'm wrong.

                              I dont think either girl "loves" you , it's just silly mindless banter.
                              And if they were actually declaring their love for you , you should run because they would clearly be off their rockers.

                              So it's either teenage drama or a cultural difference that I'm not getting?


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