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I don't know what to do and I"m confused

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  • I don't know what to do and I"m confused

    There was this lady that I used to work with about 4 years ago. She moved to another state but when she worked with me we would do things together like toto bingo and the casino. I'm in my 40's I was 30's back than and she was 30's too. We never dated and I kind of pushed her away towards the end there because I was fighting my own demons.

    She is now back and she has a 1 year old son. I was very happy she's back to this state. She's only been back for about a month or so and we are becoming great friends. I get along wonderful with her son he loves me and is always happy to see me. All 3 of us spent the day together yesterday going to a mall and Olive Garden.

    We have not been on any dates but our first date was going to be Olive Garden but I am happy I got to go there with her and her son.

    When I came over to her house yesterday I brought her flowers. She doesn't initiate hugs with me but the past 2 times I've been over there I've initiated the hug.

    She is so protective of her son because she has been treated so bad in the past by other people. The childs own dad loves his son but he was verbally abusive to her and so was his family. He still lives in another state. She left her son in the car with me while she ran into a store and I knew this was a major plus on my part. She even got back in and said she never leaves her child with anyone.

    Me and her get along so good together. When I was leaving her house yesterday I said to her that I have a question and I asked are you my girlfriend and she said she doesn't know.. That she has so much going on right now and we'll take about it.

    Is this something to worry about? I am not trying to pressure her I really like her and I would love for her to be my girlfriend. I did send her a text apologizing if my question was out of line and she replied " your ok stop apologizing"

    I don't konw what to do , I'm worried but hopeful at the same time. Should I stop initiating hugs with her and wait to see if she hugs me next time?

    Any advise? I see the way she looks at me and I think she has great affection for me. Maybe she's just scared? Hesistant to be hurt again by someone?

    Thanks!!!
    Last edited by PookieNumNums; March 13th, 2018, 05:16 AM.

  • #2
    Originally posted by PookieNumNums View Post
    She's only been back for about a month or so and we are becoming great friends. I get along wonderful with her son he loves me and is always happy to see me. All 3 of us spent the day together yesterday going to a mall and Olive Garden.

    We have not been on any dates but our first date was going to be Olive Garden but I am happy I got to go there with her and her son.
    WHY on earth would you ask this woman if she's your girlfriend???
    You haven't had your first date. You've spent time with her and her son. You're friends.
    You don't just ask someone to be your girlfriend out of the blue.


    Originally posted by PookieNumNums View Post
    When I came over to her house yesterday I brought her flowers. She doesn't initiate hugs with me but the past 2 times I've been over there I've initiated the hug.

    I said to her that I have a question and I asked are you my girlfriend and she said she doesn't know.. That she has so much going on right now and we'll take about it.
    There is no relationship between you. There's no touching, no kissing, no intimacy. She sees you as a friend and a good babysitter.



    Originally posted by PookieNumNums View Post
    I don't konw what to do , I'm worried but hopeful at the same time. Should I stop initiating hugs with her and wait to see if she hugs me next time?

    Any advise? I see the way she looks at me and I think she has great affection for me. Maybe she's just scared? Hesistant to be hurt again by someone?
    Ask her on a date, without her son. A real date. Going to Olive Garden isn't a date. Take her to a restaurant, in the evening, while her son stays with a babysitter. Take a walk in the moonlight after dinner, somewhere romantic.
    Don't be her friend. Make it known that you're interested. Flirt with her, make physical contact in subtle ways, like touching her hand or her shoulder while you're talking.
    If the vibe feels good and she's making lots of eye contact, kiss her at the end of the date before she walks into her house.
    Have 5 dates like these, and then tell her, don't ask her, that you'd like to be in an exclusive relationship with her. See what she says.

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    • #3
      Because I'm a pathetic dumbass
      Last edited by PookieNumNums; March 13th, 2018, 07:10 AM.

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