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What is the best way to ask her out?

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  • What is the best way to ask her out?

    Hey, I'm new and I feel kinda silly asking this, but here goes...

    I've been working at this retail place for a couple of years now, and just start developing feelings for this girl I work with. She's a real cool chick that works on the other side of the store. When I do find the time to see her, or run into her, we have funny and weird conversations, and overall just have fun. I've been meaning to ask her out for a while, but they started cutting hours at my job, and I haven't seen her in over two weeks now. I didn't want to ask her through text, or Facebook. I wanted to do it in person, but our schedules never coincide. Not to mention, she has another job as well.

    After overthinking it so much, I've started to fear rejection and think we wouldn't mesh well together as a couple. She's a real out-going party girl, and I'm very chill and lazy.

    So, should I wait until I actually see her face-to-face to ask her out, or just get over with it and ask over Facebook/Text?

  • #2
    You both don't sound compatible. What's the point? Do you somehow want to be more of an outgoing, party person? Looking for someone to show you the ropes?

    If you're that insistent on what seems like trouble, just ask her via messaging how she's been with the change in hours, tell her you miss seeing her around, ask her when her new days off are and would she like to do something with you.

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    • #3
      In my opinion you should ask her out even though she might be different in some parts. But to make sure, I would definitly go on a date and just get to know her a little bit better. And who knows, maybe she likes the way you are and is looking for someone calmer and more chill. Or maybe she makes you going out more often and you feel comfortable in it!

      So in your case Id wait until you see her the next time. As a woman I totally appreciate a person asking me out in person instead via facebook or messengers!
      I dont think that there is anything wrong by saying: hey, you are finally back! Work was really boring without you! Id really like to see you more often and I was wondering if I can take you for dinner this friday?
      Something like I think no matter what her response is, she will feel flattered!

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      • #4
        asking women out on text or social media will usually fail based on discussions with my girlfriends and my view as well. face to face is only way i would agree to go out with someone new.

        i would suggest you find her and say in person "hey, you are finally back! Work was really boring without you! Id really like to see you more often and I was wondering if I can take you for dinner this friday?" rejection may mean she is already doing some jealous guy that isn't into sharing her especially if she is a hot looking and acting party girl..

        best luck to your attempted relationship with her

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        • #5
          What the hell you can't go into your place of employment in your off time? You can't go in and ask her out? Tell her you missed her since you don't have the same hours?

          Personally I think from your brief explanation of her and your personality dynamics I would bet it wouldn't last long if you did get it off the ground.
          There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. People who do not experience self-love have little or no capacity to love others.

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          • #6
            Well.. you didn't mention how she feels about you which i think is interesting. If you two are so different, why do you think you would be good together? No offence, but it seems like youre not really that into her, you're more into her looks and lifestyle. Asking in person is better, but I don't think it will get you the results you want.

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            • #7

              Never ask a girl out for a date electronically! Always in-person! Keep in mind, you've said she's a real outgoing party girl whereas you're very chill and lazy. These personality differences could pose a problem in the future. Why would you want to waste your time and energy on a relationship when both of you won't be happy because the girl wants to go out all the time and party while you prefer to stay home for chill and lazy time? These topics cause arguments. Fighting and arguments are painful. Think about this before moving forward. You sound overly ambitious and unrealistic.
              "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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              • #8
                I wanna thank all you guys for the advice. Sorry for responding so late. Been busy the last few days.

                As far as the girl goes, I asked her out and she kindly said No. I admit, I was nervous. I stupidly stuttered and flubbed my lines like a small child, which didn't help at all. But despite that, we're just gonna be friends, and that's cool too. Rather have her as a friend than nothing at all. Back to the drawing board.
                Last edited by Other Paw; March 7th, 2018, 02:46 AM.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Other Paw View Post
                  I wanna thank all you guys for the advice. Sorry for responding so late. Been busy the last few days.

                  As far as the girl goes, I asked her out and she kindly said No. I admit, I was nervous. I stupidly stuttered and flubbed my lines like a small child, which didn't help at all. But despite that, we're just gonna be friends, and that's cool too. Rather have her as a friend than nothing at all. Back to the drawing board.
                  Good on you for having a go!!!

                  Remember that we all get rejected more times than accepted.
                  But the more you get rejected and realise it's not a big deal or personal , the more confident you will become.

                  Thank you for the update!
                  Best of luck!

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                  • #10
                    Even though she declined, the silver lining is, your friendship with her will often times outlast her girlfriend / boyfriend relationship(s). Sometimes, friendships are more enduring because boyfriends / girlfriends come and go just like some jobs or careers.
                    "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Maggiemay4791 View Post

                      Good on you for having a go!!!

                      Remember that we all get rejected more times than accepted.
                      But the more you get rejected and realise it's not a big deal or personal , the more confident you will become.

                      Thank you for the update!
                      Best of luck!
                      Thank You! It's a bummer because I was really into her, but hey, I've been rejected a bunch of times before so I've learned to deal.


                      Originally posted by chanelle View Post
                      Even though she declined, the silver lining is, your friendship with her will often times outlast her girlfriend / boyfriend relationship(s). Sometimes, friendships are more enduring because boyfriends / girlfriends come and go just like some jobs or careers.
                      True words. I guess it's just one of those things where we're better off as friends.

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