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I am in love with my sisters husband?

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  • I am in love with my sisters husband?

    Hi everyone.

    I am a 21 year old female and single. I haven't talked about this with anyone because it is such a difficult topic to talk about. My sister is 30 and married to a 32 year guy. They been together for about 10 years and have a child together. I have lived with them for about the last 6 years.
    They used to be a nice couple together and got along, but it hasn't been case for 3-4 years for now. He's like the most wonderful guy, caring and always family oriented. I don't know what has happened to my sister but she's changed a lot. Became a lot meaner and always easily aggravated and I honestly don't know whats gotten into her. She is always mean to him and verbally abusing him. He comes home from work and she starts berating him and doesn't give him any free time to relax. Even on Sunday's she is upset when he wants to relax and watch a game. All the nagging and he doesn't even want to be intimate with her. She kicks him out of her room for snoring and he sleeps by himself in the den.

    Since I've lived with them, me and him get along very well. We can talk for hours about different topics. We both love politics and sports. We order food and can watch movies, sports for 10 hours straight, and make jokes. I realized I am in love with him. I never told him or anyone else how I feel. He is very respectful towards me and we have not discussed anything personal. I know deep inside he likes me. He always says he is so impressed by me. I just think we are super compatible with each other. I think we would get along perfectly well with each other and respect each other.

    This is not easy for me and I am torn. I am not a home wrecker and don't want to destroy anyone's marriage. However I just don't think she deserves a guy like that. She can't even spend an hour with him without screaming or abusing him. I just hate to see that. I would treat him 100 times better.

    What should I do? Should I just move out and not do any damage or should I tell him how I feel ?

  • #2
    Originally posted by Talana View Post
    Hi everyone.

    I am not a home wrecker and don't want to destroy anyone's marriage.
    Well, that's not exactly true. If you are entertaining thoughts of having a relationship with him, you WILL BE a home wrecker and destroy their marriage. Perhaps part of your sister's unhappiness lies with the fact that there's a third person in their household. Why have you been living with them for 6 years? Do you work? Why can't you get your own place. They deserve privacy.

    Yes, you should move out and not tell him how you feel. It's wrong and nothing good will come of it.

    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      Originally posted by SarahLancaster View Post

      Well, that's not exactly true. If you are entertaining thoughts of having a relationship with him, you WILL BE a home wrecker and destroy their marriage. Perhaps part of your sister's unhappiness lies with the fact that there's a third person in their household. Why have you been living with them for 6 years? Do you work? Why can't you get your own place. They deserve privacy.

      Yes, you should move out and not tell him how you feel. It's wrong and nothing good will come of it.
      I am not the problem in the household. She was the one who asked me to move in with me so I could help with her kid. I wanted to move out 2 years ago but she asked me to stay and told me not to waste money on paying rent and utilities all by myself. I dont get in their business. I dont talk to them about their personal lives.

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      • #4
        But you're thinking about getting in their business in a major way.

        Move out. Let her find child care elsewhere. Get yourself out of harm's way.
        "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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        • #5
          Going down this road will weigh on your conscience the rest of your life. He's a stupid schmuck for putting up with your sister in the first place and the both of them need to survive this bump in the road. You're 21 which makes you a baby in terms of lived experience. You know nothing when it comes to relationships or how to hold your own. Look at yourself. I wouldn't for one second presume to think you know any better. You're not even a mother. I think you've let your child-minding abilities and the fact that your sister asked you to stay get to your head. You've also let that useless husband of hers spend more time with you than with her....meaningfully. Instead of being a distraction, you should be encouraging him to repair their relationship. They have a child together meaning that this child will ALWAYS be in their lives, and in your life. What do you think this child will think and what do you think that child's questions will be when he or she grows up. This man is banged up, hurting and at his most vulnerable. Taking advantage of that, your sister and this young child is a direct reflection of your character.

          Get out of that house and grow up. You sound like a child yourself.

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          • #6
            Be a good sister and help her get her happiness back. Her mood could be caused by hormones from having her baby or that her body changed. Be a good sister and don't even think about screwing her husband. That would be so rude, especially if you're staying with them. I think it may be a good idea to move out, you're way too close to their relationship. It seems like an unhealthy environment for you to be in. Bad scene, think of the kid and leave. Self control is important. This will only blow back very hard in your face. Not worth it at all.

            Last edited by smartandsexykitten; March 2nd, 2018, 07:23 AM.

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