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HE rejected the kiss!

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  • HE rejected the kiss!

    I've been casually hooking up with this really sweet guy for the past 2 months. We weren't moving anywhere. We weren't even that great friends. We were just hooking up.
    2 weeks ago he suggested that we put the sex on hold because he'd like to get to know one another.
    I agreed.
    So I invited him to a completely sold-out concert, with a band that I knew we were both crazy about.
    We met for beers before the show, and the conversation was really flowing.
    We talked and laughed and everything was great. We really had a lot in common, which was a surprise, because we hadn't really talked during the time we were hooking up.
    After the show he suggested that we went on a 'adventure', so we walked through the streets of our city while it was snowing.
    We went for beers, and a long walk. Everything was perfect!

    At the end of the night he walked me to my bus stop.
    We hugged for a while, and at one point, when he held me and we were just looking at eachother, I went in for a kiss.
    He rejected me, saying in a really sweet way, the everything was really chill, but that maybe we should just be friends.
    I said that it was okay, but everything just became really awkward from that point.
    He still held me and was looking concerned at me.
    I taped his shoulder and said 'See you', and then left him standing there.

    I felt really guilty for the first couple of days afterwards for overstepping a boundarie.
    And also a little bit hurt, because I really enjoyed the time we'd had.
    But then I realized - what the fuck happened?
    This guy that I've been having sex with, felt that I was overstepping the line because I went in for a kiss after a great night?
    Why wasn't that okay?
    I wrote him a couple of days ago, that I was sorry if I had overstepped any boundaries, and that I'd like to be friends.
    He ignored the text.
    I'm not angry with him - not at all - I respect this guy SO much.

    I just don't get it..
    Please enlighten me!

  • #2

    you didnt do anything wrong. if you enjoyed the evening and felt that everything was great and you felt like kissing him - i would have tried too!
    dont be sorry for your feelings or your interpretation of his signals. apparently he didnt felt the same way though but dont blame yourself. you did not do any 'mistake'.
    did he literally say 'you overstepped a boundary'? because i think thats just how you feel now. so dont blame yourself for something that he may not have even said to you.
    apparently your intentions were honest so never ever be sorry for your feelings!

    i like that you send him this text message but i totally dont like that he ignores it. did he text you anyways, disctracting from what happened, or not at all?
    if he didnt at all, i think it sucks because thats how he brings you in a really uncomfortable situation because that may make you feel guilty.

    in my opinion its his turn to text you now. id probably try not to text him anymore.
    good luck!


    • #3
      You're easy to manipulate. I'd never walk around a whole city with a fuck buddy or spend that much time with that person when it was the other person who suggested getting to know me better. Do the deed and leave. If he doesn't want sex that's not a fuck buddy anymore. You should have asked him what it is exactly he's looking for point blank instead of going along with it like a lemming. It was his proposition to get to know you better. You should have sat pretty and seen what ideas he's capable of instead of eagerly hopping to it and flinging the doors to other parts of your life wide open. You're way too anxious and brooding when it comes to what he thinks and I think you've put him on a pedestal. Stop opening your legs so easily if you can't handle a fwb in the first place.
      Last edited by Rose Mosse; February 25th, 2018, 12:48 PM.


      • #4
        He doesn't sound like he respects you. He used you. Wham, bam, thank you m'am. Live and learn.
        "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."


        • #5
          My guess is he met someone else.

          You didnt overstep the mark by going in for a kiss.
          He lied to you about the reasoning for holding off on sex.

          He didnt try to get to know you. Instead you invited him to a concert he would otherwise have been unable to go to. How could he refuse?

          When you went in for the Kiss he then had to say something. And suggested friends. As if?

          You were never friends with benefits , you were only a fuck buddy until he met someone else.
          Fwb's tend to be honest with each other, fuck buddies ghost and lie.
          But that doesn't mean they can't be charismatic. In fact quite the opposite.
          He was trying to keep you dangling under false pretences if it didn't work out with another chick.
          And then he would have his fuck buddy ready and waiting.

          A fwb / fb wanting more will be attentive and take you out on a date. But they certainly won't suggest holding off on sex. What's the point ?

          If you want a relationship start dating and stop fucking.
          Thats the bottom line.


          • #6
            You had every right to go in for a kiss. This is the problem with having sex with someone you dont know, you dont know what he's like so you cant make a judgment. If he's going to treat you like that, then move on. Being ignored is annoying. There should be only one woman in your relationship, not two. He cant put all the importance on his emotions and disregard yours. I think he did all that because he was feeling used sexually, and in a way he probably was and then he wanted to change it to being loved and cared for. This guy is a headache in my opinion. Leaving you staring at the phone when you apologize is rude. Just forget about him. My bf did something similar. It was very annoying. That was why he did it, as a power play and to see if i was only with him for sex. I would suggest that you get rid of him and find someone youre more compatible with. Who needs headaches when you tried to accommodate him?