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Is this relationship going anywhere or should I give it up?

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  • Is this relationship going anywhere or should I give it up?

    We are both in college. He is from Connecticut, I am from Iowa. We met a little over two weeks ago at a club. Ever since then, we have been talking every day and have been hanging out at least three times a week. Whenever we go out together, he always pays. He brings me around his friends and introduces me. I needed a date for a wedding last week and he came with me. He sent photos of us to his family. I really like him and I thought everything was going fine. A few nights ago we went out to a bar together and were happily together the whole night, mingling with friends and having fun. As the night went on he got way too intoxicated and I had to help him walk home and make sure he was okay. He asked me to check his phone for him and a message popped up from his mom. I saw previous texts from the conversation. His mom said "Do you like this girl?" (talking about me) and he replied "I mean yeah but not as a girlfriend no way." I felt extremely hurt. I also saw that he texts this girl very often who was also at the club at the same time as us with another guy. I knew he was too intoxicated to confront him at the time so I left and texted him the next morning to express what I saw and how I was upset. He texted me over 10 times in a row begging for my forgiveness saying he really likes me and is so sorry and never meant to hurt me. He told me he does not want to lose me and really wants me to forgive him. He even reached out to my best friend asking her to please talk to me. He has made a ton of effort to try to win me back. Is he just saying this because he feels bad or does he truly like me? I just can't get over what he said to his mom about me how "he likes me but not as a girlfriend." Some people are saying that he probably just said that to his mom to seem cool and not want to seem like he was falling for someone . Part of me wants to believe that but I also feel as if he would be honest with his mom out of all people. Is it worth forgiving him and moving forward or should I move on?

  • #2
    You don't live anywhere near one another, he drinks too much when he should be watching his intake since he's with you and should be sober or at the most, capable of checking his own phone and walking unassisted plus he was texting another girl and he dissed you to his mother.

    Just for the very fact you don't live close enough to nurture a relationship would be enough for me to ditch him. When considering all the other negatives about him that popped out reading what he said to his mother would seal the deal.
    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


    • #3
      Good God!!!! All of this drama after knowing each other for TWO WEEKS? Did you both agree to be exclusive?? How is it your business if he's texting another girl? Why should his comment to his mother bother you? Is it likely that he would confide his feelings to his mother?

      You're already being high maintenance. I wonder how long that will fly with him?
      "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


      • #4
        What relationship?
        You only know him 2 weeks.
        It sounds like you are not mature enough to be in a relationship.
        Why on earth would you discuss over text? Or even mention the other girl?
        What you should have done is simply approach the topic of exclusivity.
        And that means not dating others to see if there is potential for a relationship.
        If he said yes, great. If he said no then you have your answer.

        Who cares what he said to his mother. I said the exact same thing to everyone about the man I am now in a relationship with including my mother.

        Might be too late now since you have acted like an entitled princess.
        But if you do decide to go there again, you must discuss exclusivity and then drop it.


        • #5
          I'd say let it blow over and give him a chance. I may be misunderstanding but I'm reading what the OP wrote as they're in college together (ie they're probably living locally, near to each other, or campus buddies). One or both of them are just from out of state..... Who cares what his mum thinks. She's somewhere else in another state and she's nosy too. She's none of your business until he proves himself worthy of your time. I think you should play it cool and see what he does to make it up to you. If you like the guy guard you heart and don't lay all your cards on the table. All you have to do is be clear that you don't want mess around with someone who doesn't care about you and you're not that type of girl. Give it time to grow and get to know each other (not clubbing!).


          • #6
            It has only been 2 weeks. Give him a chance to prove himself. He may change his mind and actually make you his girlfriend after all. Keep in mind you're both in different states and absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder. On the contrary, absence causes people to drift apart. Out of sight out of mind. Hope it works out for you. I'd give him 2 months and after that, if the relationship isn't going anywhere, it's time to cut your losses. Someone better is out there for you and local!
            "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."


            • #7
              You dont know his relationship with his mom. If he said that to his best friend that's totally different, maybe he was avoiding his mom asking a million judgy questions about you. I'm sure he had a reason and it was so throw her off the track so he can be happy and relax with you. Its weird for his mom to ask hows the girl he's dating after 2 weeks. She seems a little overbearing. Don't take it personally. Look at his actions, he likes you a lot. Its better not to look for problems and get to know each other for a few months first.