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  • What?

    I met this guy on a dating site and everything was going well we had a few dates until last week when he went distant after arranging to see me on Valentine's day and cancelled due to work.

    Since then I've given him space and not pressured him as I asked what was up a day after he began acting distant and he avoided the question so I figured he might just need some space.

    Then yesterday was the first time we had a proper conversation and he asked if I wanted to meet this week and I said yes. He asked what I would like to do and I replied but he read this message this morning and didn't reply despite being online since. So i messaged him again at the end of the day and he replied straight away so I don't know what's up with him.

    Normally I wouldn't give him the time of day but he seems genuine and has never read my message and not replied before as normally he texts me everyday. I don't know whether he's met or talking to someone else but then why would he arrange to see me on the day we normally meet otherwise?

    He's giving me mixed signals as yesterday he was being really nice and like I said he's never behaved like this before so I don't know whether it's that he's waiting for me to react or message him first especially as yesterday and the past few days he was making conversation and I was being a little short.

    Like I said normally I wouldn't entertain him but somehow he seems genuine so I'm confused. Is he testing me or is it that he's playing the field? Or is he shy or scared to reply in a weird way may be because he cancelled last week when we were supposed to meet.

    Fyi he isn't on the dating site anymore and we haven't done anything physical.

  • #2
    He's not testing you. He's probably not shy. He's simply leading a normal life of which you are not a significant part, meaning he's probably socializing with other people. If he were thrilled by you, he'd be a lot more attentive.

    You've had only a few dates. Stop rushing things.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


    • #3
      He's likely not exclusively dating you. At this point you'd do well to exercise your own options and match his interest (or lack of it).
      "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


      • #4
        He is on a dating site. He was quick to message you back when you were the only one messaging him.
        Now there's another or perhaps a few others. He is sussing out his options only. You are one of them.

        Asking him what's wrong when he hasn't messaged one day (bear in mind you only met a few times) and also being short with him , is essentially putting the others he is talking to ahead of the game.

        Go about your life as normal. Stop reading too much into things. Talk to others and date them. You are not exclusive with this guy so it's perfectly fine to do so. He realises this , you need to too.


        • #5
          Either a guy is committed to the relationship or he isn't. If he continues to act flaky and unreliable, I wouldn't waste my time and energy on him. If he truly cared, he would put for the effort and act like it and since he doesn't, this new relationship isn't a important to him as it is for you. I would never wait around for a guy to give common courtesy. I'd move onto someone else who respects you by treating you the way you would treat them.


          • #6
            He met someone else and then when it turned in a distant direction he reached out to you then it went good again. I doubt he worked on Valentines day. Move on.