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Why do i feel like my date will end in failure?

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  • Why do i feel like my date will end in failure?

    So i met this girl online and we immediatly hit it off..weve been talking for about a month and we are finally meeting up this weekend. She hasnt really started conversations with me but she would always continue conversations when i just reply with short answers.. The other night, i was talking about somewhere i wanted to visit and after that topic ended, she sent a picture of a book to me and said it was random but she thought id like it. I asked her if i could borrow it jokingly and she yhh that she would give it to me to borrow when we meet. She then suggested that we could both go to the bookstores and even mentioned a bookstore and said that i would love it (our date was originally just to meet up for coffee).

    Ive initiated all our conversations so far but she usually carries them on until she wants to end it..shes always teling me about her day when we talk, her interests, her dreams, goals, aspirations

    But despite all this, a part of me feels like it will all end in failure for me...and that i shouldnt even be excited about this date...something is telling me that she would just friendzone me and there are other guys shes interested in.we were only 82% match on the dating website so its not perfect match.I asked her if she had a type, but the only thing she told me was that the only common thing the guys she's dated had were that they were all into fitness and sports which im not that kind of guy and she knows it...this all just feels like i would just turn into a friend for her and nothing more

  • #2
    So? You've never met her and you shouldn't put too much expectation or worry about how it goes. You, at this point should have ZERO emotional investment in her and if she doesn't want another date then you should be thinking "So what, it was just one date." Strive to have no expectations at this point. Positive or negative expectations. Just go and be pleasant and engaged in the moment.

    How long have you talked to her and when will your date be?
    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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    • #3
      Originally posted by phasesofthemoon View Post
      So? You've never met her and you shouldn't put too much expectation or worry about how it goes. You, at this point should have ZERO emotional investment in her and if she doesn't want another date then you should be thinking "So what, it was just one date." Strive to have no expectations at this point. Positive or negative expectations. Just go and be pleasant and engaged in the moment.

      How long have you talked to her and when will your date be?
      we've been talking for about close to a month. She was out od the country so we couldnt meet earlier.. but we are supposed to meet this saturday

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Oladeji123 View Post

        we've been talking for about close to a month. She was out od the country so we couldnt meet earlier.. but we are supposed to meet this saturday
        Good then erase everything you THINK you feel for her out of your mind and go to that date as if you are just meeting her. Everything up to the point of meeting is just fluff and words without actions to back them up as truth.

        Have fun, relax, be confident and don't worry about failure. Ditch expectations.
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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        • #5
          Yes, don't overthink it and don't pay attention to the percentages online too much. Just be yourself and preoccupy yourself with useful things (not destructive thoughts). Look forward to Saturday.

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          • #6
            Just meet her first and take it from there. Even though you're not into fitness perhaps she'll become a healthy influence on you. You'll never know until you meet her. Give it a shot and if it doesn't work out, then either remain friends or consider her not the one for you.
            "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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