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Walk away or not? Long story

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  • Walk away or not? Long story

    I'm 23 years old, in second grade I met a girl and her mom was an aid and I had a crush on her older sister that would come on our field trips. I started "dating" this girl in 6th grade, she was my first love, first kiss, we used to sit next to each other and lock legs together she was my life and idk why but I broke up with her at the end of 6th grade and she went to another school in 7th grade I thought it was my fault because I hurt her feelings, I blamed myself.

    In mid 7th grade I was sent a text message in a group message and recognized a phone number in the group but did not know who it belonged to. I had my uncle text the number to find out who it was and it was her, my first love I immediately called her and we talked that whole night until we both fell asleep on the phone some night I would wake up picking up my phone saying babe babe because I thought I fell asleep on her.

    We were off and on through out middle school thanks to me other girls got in my way, nothing serious and I'm the only one to blame but then the summer before high school started we got back together and things started to get serious we started staying the night at each other's house, starting to get very intimate. We went to separate high schools even though I begged my parents to let me go to her high school but they wouldn't let me. High school I had the same problem I would talk to girls and mess things up I even went as low as trying to talk to her sister, her sister never said anything to her though about it.

    Then one day sophomore year I was at baseball practice and she should up at my practice and she told me she was pregnant after that I quit all sports I started ditching school just to be with her I was running away from home but my parents always chased me down they know where I was going I just wanted to be with her though so we're 16 years old at this moment and things are hard she starts not wanting to be with me because my parents won't let me be with her or move in with her. Shit he's extremely ruff and hard on our relationship but things start to work out my beautiful daughter is born and we are a family they are my world but my ways did not change. I still talked to other girls and messed things up I'm a major asshole I already know.

    And then eventually we get back together again and something is different about her. Her stomach seemed like she was pregnant again but she always told me she wasn't until one day I found a doctors appointment card in her purse I showed up with out her knowing and she told me she didn't tell me because she didn't know who the father was, my heart sunk to my ass, I've kissed other girls but never done anything sexual with them and to find out she might be pregnant from someone else killed me. We talked it over and I told her I was going to stay with her and take care of her and the baby whether she is mine or not. Then she had about her daughter I didn't know until a week after she was born she did not tell me and she also got a DNA test with the other guy

    The results came in and I was not the father once again my heart was broken all over again I was devastated. But we talked and I told her I was going to be with her and take care and the baby today both my daughters know me as there papa and and they are both my daughters no matter what I love them equally but the youngest knows who the other dad is. For the next three I was off and on with the mother of my children she was going between me and her other baby daddy causing trouble I would drive by her house to see if she was with home I would call her constantly it drove me crazy when she was with him and even when we were together I didn't know if she was talking to him behind my back.

    At one point the mother of my children was given a house by her brother that he bought. She lived there and I knows the other guy moved in with her and she lied about it and it sucked but then we started to try to work thing out again and she came and stayed with me at my dads house and In the middle middle of the night he called me and asked where she was at that point I knew she was lying for sure and at that exact same moment I had the kids iPad and her phone was connected to it and I saw that she was texting him good night and she loved him but I continued to ignore things she did wrong to me and told myself it was my fault and took the blame for all the wrong things she did.

    At this point I had already stopped talking to other girls and made a promise to myself that I do what ever it took to be with my kids and the mother and make it work. Eventually I moved in with her and I went into the police academy. Some nights she would go out with a friend in the middle of the night and would get mad when I asked who she was going with. I knew it was a man. This went on for two years and I dealt with it because I still had her and my daughters. But it got to the poin she was being so mean to me all the time for no reason that I left her. I moved back in with my father and focused on myself and my daughters.

    We've been separated for two months here and two months there but this time it was 7 months and then we started talking again I knew she was with someone because my daughters would tell me and there mom would lie about it and then when I started staying with her again I found a letter from another guy and saying he loved all the sex and loved all the time he was with her for the past three years but me and her on broke up 7months ago, I confronted her about the letters and she lied to me about them saying she wrote them because she knew I was going through her stuff but she lied again because I confronted the guy and he told me everything. This was 5 months ago today. Today I'm living with her and she still text that guy behind my back I even think she knows that I know. And the last week she has been very distant from me. And been very mean and she just told me that she wants me to die and that she is only with me so she doesn't have to let the kids leave her to visit me that if she could be alone with out the kids seeing me she would.

    And I thinks it's because of the other guy. My whole life I've surrendered to this girl, never once told her no and given her her anything and everything I could possibly give her she controls my life. Many times my family and friends have told me to leave her but I can't I love her too much. She is the only girl I've ever had a real relationship with the only girl I've ever loved the only girl I've ever had sex with. And I would do anything to be able to marry her and have more kids with her and spend the rest of my life with her but she doesn't feel the same way and I'm at a point where after what she told me told should I finally walk away for good or continue to push though like I've always have?????

    Other then talking other girls in the past I'm the nicest guy in the world I wear my heart on my sleeve I would give a stranger the clothes off my back if the needed it more than me I never tell anyone no and will help out anyone who ask even without asking I'm an overall good guy and just want my family.

  • #2
    For most of the relationship, would you please expand on why you were speaking to other women(girls)?

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    • #3
      Every relationship has its ups and downs, moments that are great and others not so much, but cheating is a symptom of a much deeper problem. The fact that she had a baby with someone else and you stayed to help her raise the baby is very nice and speaks highly of you as a person and how much you love this girl. She should be happy to have you in her life and the father of her kids. Unfortunately sheís obviously in life with someone else and as much as that sucks, itís not under your control. You deserve someone who loves you back, and Iím not saying to leave her, but she doesnít seem to even want you in her life anymore. Youíve put her as your priority since you were super young and maybe itís time you start to see what you want. What really matters are your kids and how they feel. In a perfect world they would grow up with both mommy and daddy but thatís not how it works out often. As long as you can stay in their life and always offer them the unconditional support and love they deserve, then you also have the right to be with someone who wants to be with you.

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