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Am I being over dramatic?

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  • Am I being over dramatic?

    I need advice on what to do. Me and my bf of 2 1/2 years live together. Tonight we were discussing whether or not to let our cats in our room to sleep with us. I would like them to be able to come and go because it is really cold in our house. We have a dog and 2 cats. I love animals. I grew up with depression and anxiety and animals give me a different kind of warm fuzzy comfort. Once we got our dog he started to not like our cats. He doesnít want anything to do with them. Why I his fine but tonight I was telling him how much i love them and it hurts when he says we should just get rid of them. His reply was ď I donít careĒ I love him and want to be with him but not if he doesnít care about the things that make me happy. So I chose to sleep on the couch tonight...expecting him to come tell me to come back to bed but he doesnít and now heís sleeping. Should i even bother talking to him about any of this? Whatís your advice
    Last edited by Flawlessjay; February 6th, 2018, 02:09 AM.

  • #2
    My advice is to talk to him about all of this. How about a compromise? Even though it's cold in your house, give your cats a warm place to sleep such as a box with blankets in it. Try to meet in the middle somewhere. Or, maybe he thinks your house is too crowded with 3 animals which is a lot for many.
    "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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    • #3
      Originally posted by chanelle View Post
      My advice is to talk to him about all of this. How about a compromise? Even though it's cold in your house, give your cats a warm place to sleep such as a box with blankets in it. Try to meet in the middle somewhere. Or, maybe he thinks your house is too crowded with 3 animals which is a lot for many.
      This. And i dont think you were overdramatic.

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      • #4
        Yes, talk to him. There are very varied ideas about boundaries when it comes to pets and none of them are wrong (short of abuse or neglect of any kind, of course). He may be experiencing mild allergic symptoms or find the fact that animals sitting on his face or his chest or massaging his head are not welcome in his private space. All my dogs have slept outside my bedroom. They were very large shepherds about 100-120 lbs and having them on the bed was not appropriate. Of course I'd have loved to cuddle with them but I save that for the living area. The bedroom is my sanctuary and they knew that from day 1 of puppyhood. My brother and his wife have their dog and two cats in their bed every single night.

        I think you both need to sort this and be consistent with your habits as a united front because the animals will be very confused by your behaviours and inconsistencies. I disagree with inconsistencies because that is a detriment to the animals, not just your relationship. Just as your boyfriend seems obstinate about this issue, so do you seem so as well. You're going to have to come to a suitable living arrangement or simply sleep in separate bedrooms.

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        • #5
          How long have you had these cats and where have they always slept before?
          Why, all of a sudden do you want them in your bed?
          What is going on that is making you NEED to have the cats in your bed to the point that you chose to sleep on the couch when your partner didn't agree?
          Why would you go to the couch and then EXPECT your partner to come begging you to come back to bed?
          He's not letting you manipulate him. That's the sign of a good partner actually. You'd subconsciously be losing respect for him if he was easily manipulated and was to give you your own way just because you went to the couch.

          I will wait to see how long you've had the cats and where they have been sleeping all along before I reply further.

          "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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