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    Ok so I’m having a really hard time with something right now and need honest feed back
    I was talking to this girl for about a month we never even hung out one on one then she moved away and it sucked because I really felt something as she did too, but she already had a job lined up before we met ,so we kept in touch and missed each other a lot after about a week of her being away our conversation kinda stopped and she went on a few dates and I had a girl I was hooking up with and had no feelings at all
    well about two weeks ago we got serious talking again and she wanted to come home and now she actually is and we are dating so what is eating at me a lot and everyday my anxiety is so bad
    she asked when i last hooked up with someone I told her it was two weeks ago but it was really only a week I didn’t wanna make it look bad but at the time I last hooked up with this girl yes there was talk of her coming home but not definite at all so do I tell her the truth that it was a week difference of what I told her and chance her getting mad and not moving home ????
    what is hard to grasp is that when I hooked up with this girl it was like 2 days later that we got serious about seeing each other and her moving home

  • #2
    Neither girl sounds serious. You should not be disclosing any details about your sex life to someone you don't know. It's none of either of their business who or what you were sleeping with - someone else or plush toys. Next time someone asks you such personal information online or over the phone don't give that information out.

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    • #3
      And for the love of Pete, if you post again, PLEASE use punctuation and knock off the run on sentences.
      The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

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      • #4
        Do you seriously think it's important to her whether you fucked a girl two weeks ago or one week ago? Since you're not in a relationship with the first girl, your sex life is not relevant.
        "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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        • #5
          Originally posted by pistol View Post
          and for the love of pete, if you post again, please use punctuation and knock off the run on sentences.
          please
          There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. People who do not experience self-love have little or no capacity to love others.

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          • #6
            Sorry for the grammar and run on sentences my anxiety is just very bad
            really I just didnít want to start off this relationship with a lie and even though we werenít together when I had sex with the girl I didnít care about.... I just feel guilty for lying about when the last time really was .

            and I guess the fact I hooked up on a Friday then we became serious three days later is really making me anxious and feeling down but it sounds crazy but it went from 50/50 chance of her coming home to sheís coming home and wants to kick up whereís we left off

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            • #7
              Went from possible coming home to definite over three days **

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              • #8
                If she makes you feel guilty that speaks more about her character than yours. Don't beat yourself up about it. She asked an inappropriate question. If she isn't adult enough to handle any answer, that's on her, not you. I would never dream of asking a first date before the first date when was the last time he had sex with a woman. Hello???

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                • #9
                  She isnít making me feel guilty itís me who itís eating at she is my asked me once and like I said we were talking before she moved away for a month or so
                  I just donít like that I lied about when I did lady hook up
                  but since we have been dating I havenít done anything wrong
                  whatís bothering me is just how 3 days before we became official I had sex with another girl but like I said it basically happened over night that she was definitely coming home so do I tell her the truth over a weeeks different and already possibly lose her trust or not worry about it since Iíve been faithful and will Be since we started dating

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                  • #10
                    I misunderstood because it sounds like you're hella anxious about what your new girl might think. You're not celibate and you're not expected to be a nun or virginal. How much do you want to split hairs? What's the difference between three days and thirty days or three years beforehand? Are you still going to be upset with yourself? Just forgive yourself and move on. Have some confidence in yourself and don't get worn down over the small stuff. You're not official with the new girl at all and there was no commitment there.

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                    • #11
                      You are right I think itíll get better in time and once I see her which is still a week away I really appreciate your time in helping me out is there anyway I can private message you Iím new to this site

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                      • #12
                        No need for private message. I turned the function off, sorry. Everyone is very empathetic and welcoming here. You have no need to fear sharing your thoughts. Just take it easy and keep the energy up with your new girl. If your new girl wants to discuss this in detail in your first or second date, I'd be very wary about her. She may be overly controlling or jealous and that's no way to kickstart a relationship. Keep the relationship about the two of you, not some roll in the hay.

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                        • #13
                          Ok thanks again
                          I really donít think she will bring it up she hasnít said a word since about it
                          I suffer from bad anxiety and ocd thoughts
                          Iím just worried that when she moves home if it eats at me everyday I should tell her but at the same time if I lost her I would never forgive myself
                          I just donít know why Iím stresssing it so much I know the time of hooking up with the random girl and becoming a couple with her is so close I think that is what is hurting me
                          I keep telling myself what you said whatís the difference of 3 days or 3 months I wish it were that easy to mentally tell myself cause I really do hurt inside about this simple lie

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                          • #14
                            Since this feeling is subjective and what may not matter to some people, may matter to others (like yourself), I hear you. There's no changing your feeling about it. If it makes you feel better (and you are the one you have to answer to at the end of every day - not her), you can out with it right away when you see her in person. Tell her there's been something on your mind. This is only if you feel it will really continue to bother you later on. If you must bring it up at all , do it early on..not later in the friendship/relationship. But if I were you I'd be certain about what her intentions are about you. If she's just meeting you casually as a friend and you're not getting the vibe right, you're going to look inappropriate talking about this.

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                            • #15
                              I I have asked close friends and they said yes it sucks that it went from a possible situation of her coming , to her actually coming back home but they said why ruin something that what I think could be the best thing that happen to me in years
                              and the situation is serious she is moving in with me which seems crazy to some but we both feel the same about it
                              but for the last month I honestly never thought Iíd see her again and thatís why I looked elsewhere and I wasnít looking for anything. Serious just something to void the blank I guess
                              but she even said I understand Iím not mad , we didnít know this would happen
                              Iím just afraid if I tell her how close my hook up was to her deciding to come home she might be very angry that she moved home for me

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