Moved Thread

[Gsj89]

Ok so I’m having a really hard time with something right now and need honest feed back
I was talking to this girl for about a month we never even hung out one on one then she moved away and it sucked because I really felt something as she did too, but she already had a job lined up before we met ,so we kept in touch and missed each other a lot after about a week of her being away our conversation kinda stopped and she went on a few dates and I had a girl I was hooking up with and had no feelings at all
well about two weeks ago we got serious talking again and she wanted to come home and now she actually is and we are dating so what is eating at me a lot and everyday my anxiety is so bad
she asked when i last hooked up with someone I told her it was two weeks ago but it was really only a week I didn’t wanna make it look bad but at the time I last hooked up with this girl yes there was talk of her coming home but not definite at all so do I tell her the truth that it was a week difference of what I told her and chance her getting mad and not moving home ????
what is hard to grasp is that when I hooked up with this girl it was like 2 days later that we got serious about seeing each other and her moving home

[Rose Mosse]

Neither girl sounds serious. You should not be disclosing any details about your sex life to someone you don't know. It's none of either of their business who or what you were sleeping with - someone else or plush toys. Next time someone asks you such personal information online or over the phone don't give that information out.

[pistol]

And for the love of Pete, if you post again, PLEASE use punctuation and knock off the run on sentences.

[SarahLancaster]

Do you seriously think it's important to her whether you fucked a girl two weeks ago or one week ago? Since you're not in a relationship with the first girl, your sex life is not relevant.

[foh4k]

and for the love of pete, if you post again, please use punctuation and knock off the run on sentences.

please

[Gsj89]

Sorry for the grammar and run on sentences my anxiety is just very bad
really I just didn’t want to start off this relationship with a lie and even though we weren’t together when I had sex with the girl I didn’t care about.... I just feel guilty for lying about when the last time really was .

and I guess the fact I hooked up on a Friday then we became serious three days later is really making me anxious and feeling down but it sounds crazy but it went from 50/50 chance of her coming home to she’s coming home and wants to kick up where’s we left off

[Gsj89]

Went from possible coming home to definite over three days **

[Rose Mosse]

If she makes you feel guilty that speaks more about her character than yours. Don't beat yourself up about it. She asked an inappropriate question. If she isn't adult enough to handle any answer, that's on her, not you. I would never dream of asking a first date before the first date when was the last time he had sex with a woman. Hello???

[Gsj89]

She isn’t making me feel guilty it’s me who it’s eating at she is my asked me once and like I said we were talking before she moved away for a month or so
I just don’t like that I lied about when I did lady hook up
but since we have been dating I haven’t done anything wrong
what’s bothering me is just how 3 days before we became official I had sex with another girl but like I said it basically happened over night that she was definitely coming home so do I tell her the truth over a weeeks different and already possibly lose her trust or not worry about it since I’ve been faithful and will Be since we started dating

[Rose Mosse]

I misunderstood because it sounds like you're hella anxious about what your new girl might think. You're not celibate and you're not expected to be a nun or virginal. How much do you want to split hairs? What's the difference between three days and thirty days or three years beforehand? Are you still going to be upset with yourself? Just forgive yourself and move on. Have some confidence in yourself and don't get worn down over the small stuff. You're not official with the new girl at all and there was no commitment there.

[Gsj89]

You are right I think it’ll get better in time and once I see her which is still a week away I really appreciate your time in helping me out is there anyway I can private message you I’m new to this site

[Rose Mosse]

No need for private message. I turned the function off, sorry. Everyone is very empathetic and welcoming here. You have no need to fear sharing your thoughts. Just take it easy and keep the energy up with your new girl. If your new girl wants to discuss this in detail in your first or second date, I'd be very wary about her. She may be overly controlling or jealous and that's no way to kickstart a relationship. Keep the relationship about the two of you, not some roll in the hay.

[Gsj89]

Ok thanks again
I really don’t think she will bring it up she hasn’t said a word since about it
I suffer from bad anxiety and ocd thoughts
I’m just worried that when she moves home if it eats at me everyday I should tell her but at the same time if I lost her I would never forgive myself
I just don’t know why I’m stresssing it so much I know the time of hooking up with the random girl and becoming a couple with her is so close I think that is what is hurting me
I keep telling myself what you said what’s the difference of 3 days or 3 months I wish it were that easy to mentally tell myself cause I really do hurt inside about this simple lie

[Rose Mosse]

Since this feeling is subjective and what may not matter to some people, may matter to others (like yourself), I hear you. There's no changing your feeling about it. If it makes you feel better (and you are the one you have to answer to at the end of every day - not her), you can out with it right away when you see her in person. Tell her there's been something on your mind. This is only if you feel it will really continue to bother you later on. If you must bring it up at all , do it early on..not later in the friendship/relationship. But if I were you I'd be certain about what her intentions are about you. If she's just meeting you casually as a friend and you're not getting the vibe right, you're going to look inappropriate talking about this.

[Gsj89]

I I have asked close friends and they said yes it sucks that it went from a possible situation of her coming , to her actually coming back home but they said why ruin something that what I think could be the best thing that happen to me in years
and the situation is serious she is moving in with me which seems crazy to some but we both feel the same about it
but for the last month I honestly never thought I’d see her again and that’s why I looked elsewhere and I wasn’t looking for anything. Serious just something to void the blank I guess
but she even said I understand I’m not mad , we didn’t know this would happen
I’m just afraid if I tell her how close my hook up was to her deciding to come home she might be very angry that she moved home for me