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Looking for some advice with a new woman in my life

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  • Looking for some advice with a new woman in my life

    Hi there, as the title would suggest I (32M) am looking for advice for a woman (36F) who has come into my life recently. With the kind of work I do I visit apartment buildings regularly and have gotten to know some of the people who live at the locations at which I work and thats how I met her. We started off with friendly chat as youd do with meeting people and seeing them on occasion and eventually when I saw her more the amount we talked would increase and increase and I have fallen for her. So I was at her apartment last Friday and she invited me into her suite for some beers (I am aware of her doing this with other people that she sees purely as friends and is just an act of friendship) and of course I wanted to I gladly accepted her offer. As the night went on she became quite flirty with me as in she grabbed my arm and squeezed it, she also touched my arm aside from that, she was playing with her hair, good eye contact almost the entire night we were together. Nothing had happened that night we just enjoyed each others company and today I decided to ask her out to which she replied yes but the way she had replied slightly makes me think she may be not understanding my intention and my asking her out is more of a friendly offer rather than one with romantic intent, also during our conversation we had today I didn't get nearly as many signs from her that she is interested in me as there was the previous Friday. So my plan as of now is to take her out and see how the night goes and just play it cool. My last relationship was a very rocky one and it's been difficult for me to try and open myself to another person so I am not only questioning does she like me? When we were together last Friday was it the beer talking and not her? Am I just getting my hopes up of being with someone special? Anyways any advice or just general comments about this would be greatly appreciated.

  • #2
    Don't try to ruin what could be a good thing by attempting to second-guess what she thinks and what will happen.

    If she thinks it's just a friendly get together, that's great. While you're out with her, you can have a lot of time to talk and then gauge how she feels about you and what she wants out of life.

    Just calm down and play it by ear and don't have any particular expectations.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


    • #3
      Everyone becomes more flirtatious with beer when their inhibitions are lowered, but that doesn't mean she would flirt with everyone and anyone with beer.
      She accepted your invite so go enjoy it!


      • #4
        Be honest and up front. Let her know that it's good to be friends with her and hopefully she'll take the hint. When it's male and female friendships, you have to be careful that the relationship is not misconstrued. It's better to ensure that there is no confusion whatsoever. No one wishes to waste their time on relationships if it doesn't have potential meaning in this case, if she's thinking romance and you're not, someone's going to end up angry if these issues aren't brought to the surface from the get-go.
        "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."


        • #5
          Thank you very much for the reply's I appreciate it.


          • #6
            An expectation is just a premeditated resentment
            There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. People who do not experience self-love have little or no capacity to love others.