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  • When to stop looking

    OK, I went out with a guy from online dating for a couple of times. Coffee first date and he was very happy. And he date me again in two days. We had a successful second date too. Had lunch and I invited him to mine for coffee as we had lunch where I am walking distance. He has been married twice and living full time with his 13 yr old son. He seem very happy with me but I still see him being online....when we go to read messages on our profile, we are prompt who's online on that website. So we both are still checking out...I suppose. Because I think we don't know yet what's to happen or not. How do I know if he wants to get serious in a relationship or just for fun or just wants friendship? How do I ask him if he wants to go out with only me and see how it goes instead of us both still checking for potentials? He works from home, and can juggle with time to go out anytime. But not much at night because of his son. He is financially secure and he did says he is not after a gold digger. He has 7 children and two marriages. But no baggage. All settle and moved on. He is pretty ideal to me. I do likes him, but we don't really know at this stage, do we. What is best to do from here. I don't think I should let him kiss or touch me yet? Or should I if I likes him and hoping that we will just forget about what's else out there? To what degree do we quit online ? I don't want to sleep with him until I know he wanted someone serious instead of just having fun. How do I know if he is just wanting some fun or wanting a full relationship? Please advise. thanks in advance.

  • #2
    Yes, he does indeed have baggage with his having been married twice and a father of 7 children.Take it slow until you get to know him better in person, not online only. Don't be too trusting, don't rush, don't be in a hurry otherwise you'll regret it. Make sure your radar is up.
    Last edited by chanelle; February 2nd, 2018, 05:06 PM.
    "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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    • #3
      After two dates, you're getting upset that he's still on the dating site and not talking about a relationship??? Slow down, girl. First of all, with seven children and 'working from home,' I'm rather skeptical that he is financially secure. But even so, you just need to have more dates before you even think about getting intimate with him and talking about any future.
      "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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      • #4
        7 children are older with their children and don't live with him, only one youngest one from the second wife which she gets nothing because he get the child. So he will have enough...he lives on the waterfront home, shares in the company he works for, has a boat and an expensive 4x4. Not that I'm after his money but I'm after a comfortable lifestyle whoever Im wth. True, 2 dates is nothing, tonight he rang me, and he says he is sick of cleaning, and will probably hire someone to clean instead. I said ok you pay me I will clean for you, lol because I'm out of work at the moment and I was actually very sincere about it, I don't mind. Just a job. Then he says...No I don't want you to come and clean for me...I want you to live here with me, but not clean. Hmmm...funny he says that. Good thing is he calls, so he is thinking of me... yeah.

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        • #5
          Good grief. This is a huge red flag, telling you he wants you to come and live with him after two dates. He's playing you. You debased yourself by offering to clean his house for pay. That's not attractive.

          If he's not after a gold digger, he'd better stay away from you. You're already thinking about him supporting you. Why are you out of work?
          "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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          • #6
            No. Just say no.
            He can hang his laundry and his son's diapers on his own out to dry too. Get off the dating website and get on an employment website instead. Work on yourself, be proud of your accomplishments, be your own person.

            By the way almost no one will take you seriously if you don't take yourself seriously. Not taking yourself seriously means hanging off the whims of a man and monitoring his dating habits online when you don't have a job and/or your own independence. Don't do that to yourself.
            Last edited by Rose Mosse; February 2nd, 2018, 04:55 PM.

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            • #7
              I agree ^^^^. It says a lot about you when you're not working, but you have time to worry about dating websites. Grow up and become independent before you try to glom on to someone else.
              "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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              • #8
                Oh I'm fine with work - I can find work, just in between jobs. I'm very qualified for what I can do and I can do a lot of work, just getting one that suits me. I'm independent, I've got my own home no mortgage. I don't need him to support me and I am not hanging on to the government payments - I'm all good with my own finances.

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                • #9
                  If you're good with your own finances, why on earth would you have asked him to clean his house for pay? Something doesn't smell right here.
                  "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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                  • #10
                    I'm only joking.

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                    • #11
                      To see what he says

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                      • #12
                        I said ok you pay me I will clean for you, lol because I'm out of work at the moment and I was actually very sincere about it, I don't mind. Just a job.

                        Troll?
                        "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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