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Exclusive friends with benefits?

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  • Exclusive friends with benefits?

    Hello yall...

    so I'll make it brief an give more info when asked. I had been seeing this girl but we had kept it like FWB we ended up getting more serious an falling for eachother (at least I fell for her) last July she broke it off with me to try again with her ex. I left to help with the disasters in p.r an v.i got back in December an she hits me up telling me she made a mistake she wanted to make sure it wasn't gonna work with him an wants to try again with me. I took her back but now I'm in the same situation an we are friends with benefits we have had some issues with the set up but I'm in love with her. Look y'all I just really don't know what to do or I feel like I don't. I just really need some sound advice. If more info is need let me know.

  • #2
    Sounds like the girl is flaky and unreliable. She bounces around a lot between you and the other guy. I'd be wary if I were you. Take it slow and see how it goes. Perhaps she'll change, I don't know. Then again, maybe she realizes you're the one and did some growing up.
    "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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    • #3
      You can't be FWB with a girl you're in love with. That's a guarantee for heartache and drama.
      And by definition, FWB usually aren't exclusive. It's almost a given that people will keep looking around and dating until something better comes along.
      If you're in love with her, make that clear to her. She'll either feel the same and you can progress into a relationship. Or she doesn't feel the same, in which case you should choose to end things to prevent yourself from getting heartbroken.
      You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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      • #4
        She chooses to be fwb only because she is not interested in a relationship with you but rather you are a crutch to help her get over her ex. I'm guessing she first hooked up with you not long after splitting with him. And again the second time.
        And you obliged both times.
        I guarantee you she will not develop feelings for you while you remain her crutch.
        Are you not insulted by her words and actions?

        If you like her, then let her go and grieve her relationship with her ex.

        If she contacts you after at least 3 months of being single (no contact with her ex) then go for it.

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        • #5
          Does she know you're in love with her? Did you have that conversation and confession after she asked to get back with you? Did you take her back under the same non-commital or were you smart and said you'd only get back with her if she wanted a committed, exclusive monogamous relationship with you?

          If you didn't have those boundaries in place, if you haven't confessed your feelings to her then I can only assume that you're not ready to have a committed relationship with anyone really or you would shit or get off the pot. Somehow, the non-label is safe for you too, Yes? If I'm wrong there then get talking and if she's not on the same page then quit stagnating yourself from finding a good life mate because while you're screwing her, while you're crushing on her, you're not going to be seeking out anyone else.
          "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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