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My childhood crush asking me out

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  • My childhood crush asking me out

    This guy was my first crush when I was 13. We used to study in the same school, but when we were about 14, he transferred to another school in another town. Before going, he had made it completely clear that he didn't like me as more than a friend.

    The following years, he frequently visited his friends (including me), and started dating one of our mutual friends (my classmate). I almost had grown out of my puppy love, and had been out with a couple guys too. He had been in a relationship with my classmate for about one year, after which they broke up, and my classmate told me it was because he wanted to be physical and she wasn't ready. At this point, I convinced myself that I didn't like him anymore more than a friend, and moved on. He dated another girl (I heard it through rumours) and life went on.

    Afterfinishing high school, he came back to his hometown (where I live) and eventually it was inevitable that we met. We started texting and calling, and I felt like our friendship was growing, and slowly he became one of my closest friends. But then, he started dating that same classmate from school, and I was completely fine with it. I realized I still wasn't completely over my crush on him, but my close friends insisted that he was a bad dating choice, and honestly I knew it was true. Exactly one week later, he broke up with her again, and I found out he had been cheating on her. Overall, I knew he was the worst sort of person to be in a relationship with.

    But he became single a month later, and in the midst of joking about his relationships and sharing his family troubles with me, we grew close. He started giving hints that he liked me. Now, I should have known better than to start liking him again, but he was my first crush ever, and I just always have had a special affection for him, even though I know he is not a good person to be in a relationship with. Now, recently, his best friend and my best friend (the same person) told me that he (my crush) was planning on asking me out. Now, this guy never lies to his best friend. Ever. And my best friend never lies to me. So, it's possible he'll ask me out any day now. Now, I'm not the kind of person to expect a guy to 'fall in love' with me or stay with me forever, but of course if he ever cheats on me, I'll feel bad. And he's one of the closest friends I've got. I cannot bear to lose him. So, should I say yes and prepare for a inevitable breakup down the road, or stay friends with him (but I'm not unaware of the fact that it will possibly get extra awkward if I don't go out with him and stay friends)? I do like him still, and another problem is that I'm good friends with my high school classmate he dated twice and is on bad terms with. I really need help I swear to god I'm so confused. I don't wanna lose her friendship or his, and I can't ignore that I like him, but that it'll never last.
    Last edited by hxnaa; January 31st, 2018, 09:56 AM.

  • #2
    First, unload the nonsense that he is primarily your 'friend.' When you start having romantic feelings for someone, the 'friendship' becomes irrelevant.

    You already know that he has a history of cheating. If you want to start dating him, keep that in mind. Also keep in mind that when the 'relationship' eventually ends, you won't be able to go back to being friends again.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


    • #3
      I think that you've mostly answered your own questions in your post.
      He's not dating material. Childhood crush or not, you know well enough he's right for you.
      And why on earth would you NOT expect a guy to fall in love or stay with you forever? That's just giving them a free pass to keep it casual and dump you when they've grown tired of you. Maybe you need to think about setting the bar a bit higher.
      Sure, you don't know what will come from a simple date. But if you go in expecting things to end badly, why put yourself through that to begin with?
      You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf